On paper, teaming ace Curb Your Enthusiasm curmudgeon Larry David with legendary curmudgeon writer/director Woody Allen is ideal. Or at least maybe it would have been had Allen not stopped being a relevant filmmaker years ago. Still, my love of David made me excited to rent their collaborative effort Whatever Works when it his DVD shelves this week. But in case my snarky second sentence didn’t give my opinion away, let me leave no doubt. This movie sucks.

Plot Outline:

The movie tells the story of Boris Yelnikoff (David), a crotchety, know-it-all, former Pulitzer Prize nominated Physicist, who leaves behind an upper class lifestyle after a failed suicide attempt. The miserable Boris despises everything and everyone. Then one day, he meets a beautiful 21-year-old Southern Beauty Pageant contestant named Melodie (Evan Rachel Wood), who he begrudgingly forms a romantic bond with despite a four decade age difference and the fact, as Boris points out constantly, she operates at a much lower intellectual level than he does. Continue reading →