I always get super excited when Taco Bell comes out with a new menu item. Ever since they revealed my now-favorite Volcano Taco, I’ve found myself to be like a fat, zitty 20-year-old kid with an intense inability to control his anticipation for greasy new Taco Bell menu items with stupid names, made up or otherwise. Oh wait…

Taco Bell’s new Tortadas are just that — a new Taco Bell menu item with a stupid name. Believe it or not, though, the word Tortada isn’t simply the result of a corporate brainstorm where a bunch of old white guys try to combine names of Spanish food items to fit their needs (enchirito = enchilada + burrito). Perhaps even more stupid than that is the fact that tortada means “cake,” and Taco Bell’s Tortada is not a cake. It is a bunch of recycled ingredients wrapped up with a tortilla, grilled, and shoved inside of a Quesadilla wrapper.

Wanna know something else about Taco Bell’s Salsa Roja Tortada? It sucks. Continue reading →