Tag Archives: Monster

[Energy Drink Review] Monster: Absolutely Zero

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Here’s a portion of a review on Caffeine Critic

People have been blowin’ up our inbox for years asking for a zero calorie Monster. We got it, but this ain’t soda pop, dude!

Making a zero calorie, zero sugar drink that’s good enough to earn the Monster M ain’t that easy.

Finally with a re-tooled energy blend, new sweetener system and hundres of failed flavors, we absolutely got it right!

Monster Absolutely Zero helps fight fatigue, improves mental performance and focus, motivates you to work (I mean play) harder, so generally you feel pretty damn good.

Zero calories, zero sugar, killer buzz… Absolutely Guaranteed!

Be sure to read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

[Energy Drink Review] Monster DUB Edition

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Monster DUB Edition is essentially a special edition of Monster Energy Drink made in collaboration with DUB magazine (if you don’t know what that is, you’re likely white or Chinese), an automotive publication that takes pride in providing content composed of pimped out “rides.” I could add a few more “fresh” vernaculars, but my grasp of the various methods of “phat” slang is severely limited. Hopefully this drink will fix that.

Straight from the can:

The Monster Energy DUB Edition is more than just another energy drink. It’s high performance fuel for the true baller. Made by the crew at Monster Energy, DUB Edition is optimized for the mobilized. A customized formula in collaboration with the kings of customization.

I’m not necessarily sure what a “true baller” is, but I know it’s something good. From now on, this is the only thing I’m ever going to drink. It’s time to “get retarded.” “Bitches.” Continue reading →

[Energy Drink News] Monster Preparing to Launch New Site, Preview it Now!

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I just got an email from the folks over at Monster Energy with information about their new site. Here’s a snippet from said email:

Listen up Monster people!  We’ve got some exciting news that you’re gonna want to hear!

The MonsterEnergy.com site is getting ready to launch with its new kickass redesign and YOU get first crack at this bad boy!

The new site is going to blow you away with all these new community features that will allow you to post pics, watch athlete videos, comment on things, and rate what you think is hot or not.  You’ll find everything you ever needed to know on your favorite X-athletes, rockin’ bands, smokin’ hot Monster girls, and the coolest events around town.

To go with the new awesome site though, you’ll need a new MonsterEnergy.com username and password to match.  Unfortunately your existing username and password will not access the new site.  But, now would be a good-time as any to say good-bye to NiceGuy123 and say hello to MonsterBallz311!

The new site actually looks pretty good. There is also a mixology section that teaches you how to make alcoholic drinks like Skinny Bitch, Cherry Popper, and Monster Orgasm. I think they should also make recipes for drinks called Date Rape, Murder Rape, and just plain Rape.

Anyway, check out a preview of the new site right here.

[Energy Drink Review] Nitrous Monsters

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nitrousmonster

Overview:

Monster has been a leader in its industry for as long as I’ve had an interest in energy drinks. They have managed to attain their high status by constantly mastering every new innovation the industry sees. Java Monster, Juice Monster, Monster Hitman–Every time a new form of energy drink comes out, Monster is right there perfecting it and creating top-notch products.

But lately Monster has been the industry’s lead innovator as well. Things started off with Monster Import and its brilliant new resealable can design, an innovation that proved worthy of the hype. And now Monster is introducing Nitrous Monsters, the first energy drinks ever to be nitrogenated.

The hype surrounding this new line of drinks is pretty hot, but does the end product manage to live up to everyone’s expectations?

Straight from the can:

Nitrous Oxide makes your car faster at the Drags, but put in a drink? Call us crazy, but we combined Nitrous Oxide with Carbon Dioxide in a precise ratio and injected it into our potent Monster Energy base. Nitrous Monster has a unique texture, smooth drinkable flavor and buzz that’s bigger than ever.

This is no “Whip-It”, but it will whip you good…

Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Nitrous Monster: Anti Gravity

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nitrousmonsterantigravityReview:

Anti Gravity has a powerfully fruity aroma that tickles your nostrils and gets your mouth watering in anticipation. The scent is clearly pineapple, possibly with a little mango and citrus undertones, but I’m not sure. The aroma seems very natural, with little chemical help to achieve the lovely pineapple aroma. But while the scent is delicious, it strongly reminds me of several other drinks on the market, primarily Monster’s own M-80. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Nitrous Monster: Killer-B

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nitrousmonsterkiller-bReview:

Killer-B is the only flavor of Nitrous Monster with a name that I understand. The can is decorated with a honeycomb design, it’s called Killer-B, it is obviously honey flavored. Knowing this when leaning in to take a first whiff, I was almost taken aback when I actually picked up the aroma. It is absolutely nothing like I had expected. Instead of smelling powerfully sweet and primarily of honey, like I had expected, I was treated to a rather delicious light, aromatic aroma that reminded me of a crisp tea flavored lightly with honey. Very delicious, but definitely not what I was expecting. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Nitrous Monster: Super Dry

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nitrousmonstersuperdryReview:

Popping the cap off of the can of Super Dry, you will be immediately met with an absolutely delicious aroma. And I mean it is fantastic. Perfect. And I’m not kidding. Super Dry is the first product I’ve ever reviewed that scores a perfect 10 in the aroma department. It’s a strong lime scent with a perfect balance between sweet and sour. After opening a can of Super Dry, I literally put my nose inside of the opening to breath for the next several minutes. It is really unbelievably delicious, and I often times buy this flavor just for the scent. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] X-Presso Monster: Hammer

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xpressomonsterhammerStraight from the Can:

All over Europe they’ve got these cool little coffee shops that serve killer espresso with creamy foam on top. Our madman in R&D figured out how to get that same smooth texture by injecting potent imported espresso with Nitrous Oxide. The we up’d the ante by adding out “tried and true” Monster energy blend.

X-PRESSO MONSTER has a rich creamy texture, imported espresso flavor, and a Monster buzz that just won’t quit. Made in Holland but only available in the USA. What a country…

X-Press yourself!

Nitrous Oxide in an energy coffee? Sounds interesting. Continue reading →

Review: …Lost Energy Drink

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lostenergy1Overview:

Lost Enterprises is actually a surf board company, which may surprise some since they’ve churned out several stellar drinks. But don’t be fooled my friends, Lost didn’t achieve its reputation of producing delicious energy drinks on its own. The folks over at Monster were actually the ones who concocted this killer series of drinks, which easily explains everything from the original flavor and sensational aroma to the powerful kick.

Straight from the can:

From the garages of San Clemente in Southern California, where you can surf, skate and snowboard in the same day, came …Lost Enterprises. Lost grew into a super mega multi-conglomerate corporation and in our pathological obsession of global domination, we decided to formulate a drink to hypnotize the minds of the masses… Actually, that’s not true. If you’re gonna surf, skate and snowboard all in the same day, you’ll need some energy to go out and party afterwards. Most energy drinks suck, so we had the crew at MONSTER make us one that actually works, tastes good and mixes even better. …Lost Energy Drink, a bad influence from …Lost Enterprises.

Continue reading →

Review: Java Monster Irish Blend

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irish-java-monsterOverview:

The Irish blend of Java Monster is a unique breed. Like the formerly reviewed Russian, Irish is essentially meant to be a non-alcoholic recreation of your favorite foreign liquor with a shot of Java Monster for extra flavor. The Russian, for instance, was essentially a virgin White Russian, and the Irish blend is, obviously, a virgin Irish Creme. Think Bailey’s. Without the booze.

Awesome? Let’s find out.

Continue reading →