Tag Archives: Java Monster

[Energy Drink Review] Java Monster Lo-Ball

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A portion of a Caffeine Critic review.

Drinking Lo-Ball was a bit of a roller coaster experience. I went into it expecting very little, my expecations were risen by the delicious aroma and then beaten down by the gross taste. In the end I just sort of quit caring, as I’m sure you can tell by the brevity of this review. The bottom line is this: Lo-Ball is a below average energy coffee, but if you’re a calorie counting maniac who needs energy coffee, this might be your only choice.

Read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

[Energy Drink Review] X-Presso Monster: Hammer

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xpressomonsterhammerStraight from the Can:

All over Europe they’ve got these cool little coffee shops that serve killer espresso with creamy foam on top. Our madman in R&D figured out how to get that same smooth texture by injecting potent imported espresso with Nitrous Oxide. The we up’d the ante by adding out “tried and true” Monster energy blend.

X-PRESSO MONSTER has a rich creamy texture, imported espresso flavor, and a Monster buzz that just won’t quit. Made in Holland but only available in the USA. What a country…

X-Press yourself!

Nitrous Oxide in an energy coffee? Sounds interesting. Continue reading →

Review: Java Monster Russian

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java-monster-russian1Overview:

Coffee,  while it is a good drink, has many drawbacks which many users of the substance find irritating.  For one, it is often hot and spillage can lead to burns and other problems that can arise from handling hot fluids.  Coffee is most normally drank in a mug or thermos type container. The mugs are normally decorated with small sayings or phrases like “World’s best Dad” and other debatable facts which can lead to awkward social situations at home and in the office.

And the biggest problem is probably the brewing and mixing of the coffee, which can take considerable amounts of time which could otherwise be spent being more productive at work or spending valuable time with the family.  The scientists at the Monsters headquarters took all these problems seriously and came up with an innovative solution.  By putting coffee in a can + Energy, you have a delicious drink that you can take anywhere without all the safety hazards of regular coffee, and it gives you so much more time for productive activities!

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Review: Loca Moca Java Monster

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Overview:

I’m gonna keep this short and sweet. Java Monster’s Loca Moca blend plays out just like every other Java Monster product reviewed on this site. The same basic flavor, scent, amount of kick, and even can design. These products are starting to all fuzz together and taste almost exactly the same to me, only with minor differences.

Review:

Loca Moca tastes very similar to it’s Java cousins with one main difference. That variation is the addition of, as the name states, a rich chocolate flavor. Other than that, Moca has no major taste differences from Mean Bean or Big Black. The chocolate flavor might not even be noticeable to some, as it’s very discreet. The fact of the matter is, this drink is actually a little bit more bitter than it’s sister drinks.

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Review: Big Black Java Monster

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Overview:

If you are the kind of person that prefers your Monster to bite back
then you are going to want to grab yourself a Big Black one. Grab it
tight and hold onto it with pride. Note how hard it is to wrap your
hand around this 15 oz behemoth. Can you handle it? Take a risk. Walk
up to the cashier and whip out your Big Black beauty. Tell him you
want it more than you’ve ever wanted anything. In exchange for your
$2.49 he will let you tear into this bitter-sweet supplement. Do it
slowly, try not to shake. Slowly lift the Big Black Monster to your
lips and take it all in. Don’t swallow yet. Savor it. Mmm.

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Review: Mean Bean Java Monster

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Mean Bean Java Monster

Mean Bean Java Monster

Not too long ago I reviewed the Mega size of my long-time favorite drink, Monster Energy. The Mega Monster energy supplement scored a 9.0/10 overall giving it (at the time of this writing) the highest review score on this site. Well Monster recently released a line of coffee based drinks called Java Monster to compete directly with Starbucks Frappuccinos.

How does the Java Monster compete with the current king of cold coffees? Let’s find out.

Overview:

Directly from the can:

“It’s time to get out of line and step up to what’s next.

Java Monster, premium coffee and cream, brewed up with killer flavor, supercharged with monster energy-blend.

Coffee done the right way, wide open, with a take no prisoners attitude and the experience and know how to back it up.

Java Monster… half the caffeine of regular coffee, Twice the Buzz!”

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