Tag Archives: Game Reviews

[Flash Game Review] Spikes Tend to Kill You 2

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Spikes Tend to Kill You 2 is a flash skill platformer.  You are a steaming square with a dot in the middle, and you must navigate a series of screens.  Each screen is filled with spikes or turrets that shoot yellow pixel bullets.

The bulk of the gameplay is…well what I described in the previous paragraph.  It hearkens back to other skill jumping games like of maddening insanity like I Wanna Be the Guy or the nightmarish disappearing blocks from Mega Man.  The major difference though, is that with I Wanna Be the Guy it had bits of old Nintendo games and nostalgic graphics.  It was pretty much a self-aware parody of the platformer genre.  With the Mega Man series, the invisible blocks were only part of Dr. Wily’s nefarious plan.  You still get to fight robots and earn different weapons.

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[Review] Dead or Alive: Dimensions (3DS)

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The first game I reviewed for the 3DS was Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition. In that review, I talked about how I wasn’t a huge fan of fighting games. I spoke of how I really only truly enjoyed fighting games if they were Super Smash Bros, how I’d never played Street Fighter II (and had no idea a third installment even existed), and how I enjoyed playing Dead or Alive for a very brief time. By the end of that review, however, I talked about how SSFIV ignited a new-found (maybe just recovered) appreciation for the fighting genre, and I became very excited for the quickly-approaching Dead of Alive: Dimensions.

Part of the reason I was excited for DoA was nostalgia. I played the hell out of Dead or Alive 2 on the Sega Dreamcast as a kid, and the thought of playing another game in the franchise after so long really brought back some fond memories. The other, larger part of the reason for my excitement is the fact that the 3DS still has almost no games worth playing more than a few times, and dammit I’m starving for some new software.

Luckily for me, Dead or Alive Dimensions hits the spot pretty well.

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[Game Review] Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii)

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System: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Retro Studios
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Platformer

The Donkey Kong Country series is, without a doubt, a staple memory for just about anyone who owned a Super Nintendo Entertainment System. The gameplay was rock solid, the music was outstanding, and the graphics were the absolute best you could find on any system. If you were old enough to play Donkey Kong Country when it came out, it probably still stands as one of your top SNES titles.

We’ve been waiting for a follow up to the series for quite a while now, and it is finally here in the form of Donkey Kong Country Returns. Nintendo has been bringing back a ton of old franchises lately, with games like New Super Mario Bros, Kirby’s Epic Yarn, Goldeneye 007, and the upcoming and highly anticipated Kid Icarus game for the 3DS. It’s only fitting that DK should get the same revival, and who better to helm such an important project than Retro Studios, the team that put gamers behind Samus’ visor for the critically acclaimed Metroid Prime trilogy.

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[Game Review] Kirby’s Epic Yarn (Wii)

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System: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Good Feel
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Platformer

Not since Kirby Canvas Curse have I been so excited for a game so adorable. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Kirby, but it hasn’t been since his 2005 dual-screen debut that the pink ball of fluff that is Kirby has had a starring role in anything truly fresh and unique.

Kirby’s Epic Yarn pits you in a world crafted entirely from string, yarn, buttons, zippers and fabric thanks to the heinous and evil work of an evil sorcerer with a magical sock. Wait, what? Yeah, it’s as whimsical and childish as it sounds, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s a good thing. I like realistic violence and gore as much as the next guy, but I love adorable, whimsical, imagination-driven tales twice as much. And thanks to Kirby’s brilliant art direction and impressive storybook-esque narrative approach, this is a game that’s had my full attention since its announcement.

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[Game Review] Metroid: Other M (Wii)

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System: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Team Ninja/Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Action

It hasn’t been since Super Metroid’s release on the Super Nintendo that we’ve gotten a console Metroid title developed by anyone but Retro Studios. Having finished up their highly acclaimed Metroid Prime Trilogy at last and moving on to tackle other projects, Nintendo shifted the series from Retro and handed it to a team that no gamer on Earth could have anticipated: Team Ninja.

Awesome.

Team Ninja is best known for the likes of Dead or Alive, Ninja Gaiden, and putting a ridiculous emphasis on virtual tits and ass. But guess who else would be there leading the project forward? Yoshio Sakamoto, the man who crafted Super Metroid, the finest action-focused Metroid game in existence. With a team like this, it’s hard not to have high expectations for a game. Does Other M manage to live up to the ridiculous hype it garnered?

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[Game Review] Blacklight: Tango Down (XBLA, PSN)

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System: Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network
Developer: Zombie Studios
Publisher: Ignition Entertainment
Genre: First Person Shooter

Many of you, like myself some two weeks ago, likely haven’t heard of Blacklight: Tango Down, unless you frequent the Xbox Live Arcade. Blacklight is a game that was released last Wednesday in the live arcade, and has taken off since then. Here’s a little bit of insight to this sleeper hit.

Set in a fictitious Eastern Bloc city well into the future, Blacklight: Tango Down can be summed up for the most part in the phrase “Modern Warfare 2 in the future on Meth.” The game itself is ran off of the Unreal 3 engine, and maintains a visual aesthetic that is similar in many ways to the Infinity Ward giant. While keeping the same look, and somewhat of the same feel, Blacklight is a shooter all its own.

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[Game Review] Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii)

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Mario Galaxy 2 US Box artSystem: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Nintendo EAD Tokyo
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Platformer

I have been writing reviews on this site for coming up on two years now, and I have never awarded anything a perfect 10. I’ve reviewed books, video games, energy drinks, movies, food, tech, and music — a very wide scope of products — and never experienced one single item that deserved a score of perfection. Never. I don’t know why, but I’ve just never experienced anything that I truly thought existed without some flaw, some merit of quality detraction.

That streak has come to an end, as I have finally experienced something truly perfect. No blemishes, no flaws, nothing to detract from the experience offered. Super Mario Galaxy 2 for the Nintendo Wii is truly perfect in everything that it does. Of course I can’t just say that without offering something to back it up, so if you feel you need further convincing, then by all means read onward dear gamer. If, however, I’ve already swayed you, then I suggest buying the game right now if you don’t already have it in your library. This is an interactive experience that shouldn’t be missed.

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[Game Review] Red Steel 2 (Wii)

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System: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Ubisoft Paris
Publisher: Ubisoft
Genre: FPS

Ever since the Wii was announced, gamers have been dreaming of using their Wiimote to control a sword. Picking up on that early anticipation, Ubisoft started development of a game called Red Steel. The title was a Wii exclusive first-person shooter, built from the ground up for the system, where players could not only blast foes into oblivion, but they were also given the ability duke it out in one-on-one sword fights. Nintendo fans were ecstatic.

But when the game finally arrived right next to the Wii hardware, it was just plain awful. The controls were painful, the story was bad, there was no online multiplayer, and worst of all the swordplay was atrocious. It was nothing like Wii gamers had hoped it would be. Now Ubisoft is back with Red Steel 2, a dramatic reboot of the entire series, ditching anything that would relate it to the first game besides the namesake. This time around, the game kicks ass.

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[Game Review] Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver (Nintendo DS)

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System: Nintendo DS (Exclusive)
Developer: Game Freak
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: RPG

I’m 20 years old. It’s a late Saturday night, the skies are clear, the air is warm, and adventure can be felt in the air. It’s the first night of the year that could be spent hanging out in a Rally’s drive through, smoking Black & Milds in a grocery store parking lot, or hanging out by a campfire with a harmonica and a Monster Energy Drink.

But I wasn’t doing any of that stuff. No. Instead, I was at my local Wal-Mart Supercenter anxiously awaiting midnight, the hour when Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver would officially go on sale.

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Mass Effect 2

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System: Xbox 360, PC
Developer: BioWare
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Genre: RPG

One month after stopping a race of large sentient machines from wiping out all life in the known universe Commander Shepard is used as a figurehead for humanity and subsequently put on bitch missions to kick the last of the Geth in their robotic nads. This is where Mass Effect 2 begins, and where one hell of a ride starts.

Mass Effect 2, from the start, is a major upgrade from the trilogy’s start. The game has a fresh feel, while still keeping very close in the realm of Mass Effect. Many, many changes have been made to the sequel, both good and bad in my opinion. The story has the same idea as ME1, but with several changes. The opening of the game has you scrambling to save Joker (Seth Green), everyone’s favorite crippled, wise talking pilot, as a menacing ship appears out of hyperspace and begins an assault. The end of the opening cinematic has Shepard floating through space, suit badly damaged, and oxygen failing. The crew escapes as Shepard is seen on a crash course with a nearby planet, thus Mass Effect 2 begins. Continue reading →