Syzmo: Prickly Pear Review on Caffeine Critic

Posted on May 18, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

… But before I get to the actual review, let me tell you more about this sore throat. My airway is practically swollen shut, though it is getting much better. Riddled along my tonsils are little puss-filled wart-like blemishes, plump and white, that occasionally pop and release a rancid odor. Everything seems to be getting a bit better, but now I’ve got this uncontrollable cough that projects a dark green slime from within my body into my mouth so I am forced to taste it. It tastes like guacamole. I don’t like guacamole. …

You can’t not read the rest of it. Check out my full review on Caffeine Critic!

Vanilla Nut Case Energy Coffee Review on Caffeine Critic!

Posted on May 1, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

I love vanilla. Those of you who followed my energy reviews on Everyview.com religiously (Hi, mom!) probably know that. It is my favorite flavor of all time. Vanilla cake, vanilla ice cream, vanilla coffee, vanilla chocolate, vanilla, vanilla clam chowder — anything vanilla is almost always a complete treat for me. Except for the vanilla clam chowder. That was fucking awful.

At any rate, I picked up a few drinks to review on the site yesterday, and one of them was Adina Vanilla Nut Case. Actually, the entire text on the front of the can reads: “Adina Natural Highs Vanilla Nut Case Fair Trade Colombian coffee with Milk Antioxidant Booster Coffee Energy Drink.” Yeah, I know. But regardless of how obnoxious the can may be, with words all over it and shit, I’m hoping Vanilla Nut Case will prove to be one of those magical concoctions that I dream about for months to come.

Read the full review on Caffeine Critic!

Drank: Extreme Relaxation Beverage Review on Caffeine Critic!

Posted on April 28, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

A while back I reviewed a something called the Mini Chill Relaxation Shot, which I granted a very high score of 9.0/10 partially because of its refreshing taste, appetizing aroma, and fair value. The thing that really won the product such a positive review, was the fantastic way it makes you feel. You see, as the name implies, Mini Chill is a Relaxation Shot, meaning it makes you relax.

Think of Drank as the beverage form of Mini Chill. It’s a 16 oz. drink that’ll make you slow down, relax, and feel super awesome. It’s time to buy yoself a Drank.

Read the full review on Caffeine Critic!

Unbound Energy + Juice Review on Caffeine Critic!

Posted on April 21, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Unbound’s logo reminds me of Unreal Tournament, a sweet video game that I really dig. It was because of this similarity that I decided I would probably also like Unbound Energy drink. I know, it seems silly, but when you’ve had as many rancid energy drinks as I have, it’s important to carefully choose your drinks to try to avoid drinking something akin to a cold can of moose piss. Here’s hoping.

Read the full review at CaffeineCritic.com

[Energy Drink Review] RockStar Recovery

Posted on April 16, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Straight from the Can:

ROCKSTAR RECOVERY is designed for those who need a strong energy boost when it counts – plus maximum recovery and hydration. B-vitamins, caffeine, electrolytes, and ROCKSTAR’s potent herbal blend are formulated to deliver that extra kick. Fully refreshing lemonade flavor made with real lemon juice, RECOVERY is smooth, powerful and easy to drink.

I generally don’t enjoy RockStar products. They are usually salty, sour, bitter messes that perform well below the standard set forth by energy drinks such as Monster. Still, when I saw Recovery’s brilliant yellow can with a flat black top and red tab, I knew I had to spend my hard-earned money on the drink so I could waste my valuable time writing a review for you guys to ignore. It’s totally worth it in the end.

Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Efusjon Raw

Posted on April 12, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Straight from the can:

The all natural antioxidant/energy drink you have been looking for is finally here. It offers remarkable taste, packs tremendous energy and delivers health and vitality! Whether you’re 18 or 80, Efusjon’s “Raw”, is a delicious energy drink that gives your body exactly what it needs to thrive throughout the day! The rich, smooth flavor of Efusjon’s “Raw”, is a taste that you can enjoy anytime – completely guild-free.

So start your day with the delicious, nutritious energy your body and taste buds will crave! Cheers! Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Vuka: Workout (Berry Lemonade)

Posted on April 7, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Workout is the last flavor of the Vuka family of functional energy drinks. All of the other flavors — Awaken, Think and Renew — have been granted scores of 8.0, 8.1, and 9.0, respectively, here on Everyview. Workout was the one I wanted to hold off on until I got a gym membership so that I could effectively test it out.

Well, I got that membership and I finally put Vuka’s Workout formula to the test. I walked in to my gym, Nintendo themed messenger bag thrown over my shoulder, a pair of Reebok Reezigs on my feet, a can of Vuka: Workout in my hands, and a burning desire to get swole (whatever the hell that means). Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Rockstar Punched (Tropical Punch)

Posted on March 26, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

I’m not a huge fan of Rockstar at all. In fact, alongside Amp and Red Bull, Rockstar is one of my least favorite energy drink companies. Their inability to make consistently pleasing products with even a trace of quality really makes it hard for me to want to give the company my hard earned cash.

Alas, I found myself standing in line at my college eatery the other day, craving fruit punch, and I notice they have started to stock Rockstar Punched. I decided to give the drink a chance. Continue reading →

[Energy Review] Radium Energy Powder (Raspberry Lemonade)

Posted on February 17, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Radium is one of three flavors from a line of caffeinated candy dust called Nuclear Energy Powder. We’ve got all three flavors to review, so we’re going to handle this like we did with the Nitrous Monsters. First we’ll publish our individual reviews for each flavor, then a review for the line of products as a whole, while links to each flavor’s review.

The reason I’m doing Radium (Raspberry Lemonade) first is because it’s the most normal sounding flavor of the three, with the other two being Pear (Plutonium) and Yellow Cake (Uranium). Yeah, that’s right. Energy Powder flavored like effing cake. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Vuka: Think (Pomegranate Lychee)

Posted on February 11, 2010 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Vuka has already impressed me once with their Awaken formula, a delicious and refreshing orange drinking that does its job wonderfully. Now I’m coming back to the Vuka brand a second time to try their Think flavor. Specially formulated to “replenish mental alertness during the marathon of a busy day,” Vuka Think is flavored with Pomegranate and Lychee to give the beverage unique flavor and improve memory and concentration.

So here I am, 2:30 AM, stack of books cluttering my desk, a flood of papers and Flash Drives on the floor, and the beginnings of a five page Sociology paper sitting stagnant in Microsoft Word. I have repeatedly tried to pick a topic, which has to be done in order to write a thesis, which will open me up to all kinds of awards from my community college’s… well. Man, I’m a failure.

Time to put Vuka’s Think flavor to the ultimate test and see if it can really do what it claims it is capable of.