[Candy Review] Mint Rocket Chocolate

Cue Rocket Man music
Out there… flying through the air. Red Bull gives you wings? This stuff known as Rocket Chocolate is supposed to make you fly through the air faster than a speeding bullet. But is it all that it claims? It says that it has twice the caffeine. But it doesn’t say what product it has twice as much caffeine as. Another part of the package says ‘Boosts like a cup of coffee’. Of course the package doesn’t list anything at all.

I couldn’t find anything on their site, so there’s really no telling at all what is in it. Bad score there. Bad form, too. The little package does, however, have a little drawing of a rocket ship. Each wrapper is differently colored according to flavor. The ingredients list on this one (Chocolate Mint flavor) states milk chocolate, lecithin, vanillin, coconut oil, caffeine, natural peppermint oil, glycerine. It also has a warning that it may contain traces of peanut butter. Good thing I’m not allergic to that.

Read the rest of Kat’s review

[Energy Review] Revive Energy Mints

Here’s a portion of a review on Caffeine Critic:

Revive mints look standard enough. About the size of a dime and the color of a Mucinex Tablet. The mint has a very smooth texture, based off appearance, and it has an appetizingly fresh, minty aroma. Everything seems to point to what is sure to be a very enjoyable experience.

However, a lot of that changes when you actually put the mint in your mouth. With a good mint, you can leave it in your mouth for a while, simply sucking on it and keeping your breath kissably fresh, though I do admit that it takes a lot more than a mint for me to be able to kiss a girl. Usually a brick to the back of their skull. I digress… Revive mints immediately begin to lose their super smooth texture as soon as they hit your saliva, slowly turning into a crumbly mess. It becomes gritty and texturally gross, and is a lot like sucking on sand.

Read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

 

Amp Energy Gum Review on Caffeine Critic!

Are you looking for a delicious way to freshen your breath and get a quick boost of energy? Then look elsewhere, because Amp Energy Gum is one of the worst energy products I’ve ever experienced.

Topics covered in my review on Caffeine Critic include, but are not limited to, the Holocaust, incest bisexuality amongst nuns, dead babies being eaten by vultures, and dry butt rape. That’s right, all of those comparisons were drawn to indicate exactly how awful this gum truly is. I feel awful for writing such an offensive article, but it is for the good of my readers. Oh, and bestiality also gets a mention.

I suggest heading on over to Caffeine Critic to read the entire review.