I don’t know which one of you women woke up one day and decided that these are socially acceptable to wear, just because “they’re so comfortable.” It actually makes me want to fill a pillow case full of Crocs, and beat you with it. Now, don’t get confused. Wearing clothes for comfort is all fine and dandy, until you start thinking you’re gonna make some sort of statement. For example, if I see you out sporting your brand new Pulitzer dress, then look down and think my grandmother found a way to infuse her coconut oil and fountain of youth juice, I’ll punch you right in the mouth. No questions asked.

Before you freak out about my “punching women in the face” comment, let’s just think about the facts, they want to vote, drive tanks, run the country, ya damn right I can punch one in the mouth. Anyways, these sandals are best to be treated as handicaps pretty girls have to wear to make it even for the less fortunate, and for KFC buffet visits.

Score: 2.0/10