Things are a bit hectic this week at Everyview HQ, as site creator/head writer/bastard who steals my ideas then quadruples my rate of success Zac Pritcher is vacationing in Memphis, Tennessee, walking with his feet ten feet off of Beale (anyone who gets this joke has made a friend in me for life).

While he’s gone, he has decided to pass on all the major editorship duties he usually handles, starting with the posting of this little weekly schpeal where we pretend to be delusional enough to believe we actually have readers, to me, Casual Clay Cunningham.

That said, I honestly don’t know exactly what is in store this week. Andrew Majors recently reviewed an EP by Tristan Clopet which I will post tomorrow. I myself may do an untimely and unnecessary review of an 11-year-old My Morning Jacket album, I haven’t yet decided.

Before we get into anything major, I feel the need to apologize in advance if the quality of work this week is a bit on the substandard side. Keep in mind I have never, nor have I ever desired to, run a website before, so I could prove to be in over my head. But no matter how bad it gets, everyone’s favorite manipulative bastard (who likely regrets letting me write this) will be back in a weeks time. Thanks, and please don’t give up on us based on this week.

Clay

Before we let you know what reviews we’ve currently got under way, we would like to apologize for the recent lack of posts. We’ve all been really busy and really broke. Really, really broke. But hopefully things will start to pick back up soon, as we’ve got a brand new writer joining the team this week. We’ll leave the introduction up to him, but hopefully he’ll bring a lot to the site.

Anyway, here are some of the reviews currently in the works:

• Product review for Nuclear Energy
• Black Dynamite Movie Review
• No More Heroes 2 Wii Review
• Smackdown VS Raw 2010 Wii Review
• Microsoft Zune HD Tech Review
• HTC Hero for Sprint Tech Review
• Wheaties Fuel Food Review
• Vuka Workout Energy Drink Review

Happy Valentine’s day, love birds! And to all you lonely, single people out there who have nothing better to do than cut yourselves while eating a tub of off brand “frozen dairy dessert,” Clay feels your pain.

Anyway, here’s a list of what we’ve got currently got in development. A little something to look forward to.

Zac

• BioShock 2 (DoubleShot with Brandon)
• Vuka: Workout Energy Drink
• All three flavors of Nuclear Energy Powder
• No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle

Clay

• Brief Interviews with Hideous Men

John

• An iPhone game called Trenches

Brandon

• BioShock 2 (DoubleShot with Zac)
• Battlefield: Bad Company

Here is a look at what reviews we’ve got planned for your reading pleasure this week.

Zac

• Vuka: Think (Energy Drink)
• Vuka: Workout (Energy Drink)
• Vuka: Renew (Energy Drink)
• BioShock 2 (DoubleShot with Brandon)

Clay

• Kroger Boneless, Skinless Chicken Thighs
• Some movie called A Serious Man

Andrew

• Pheonix’s album entitled “Wolfgang Amadeus Pheonix”

Pat

• The iPhone FPS N.O.V.A.

Brandon

• Wolfman
• BioShock 2 (DoubleShot with Zac)

Happy February! Love is in the air and condom sales are skyrocketing this month thanks to Valentine’s day being right around the corner. Unfortunately not enough condoms are being sold, because I have a feeling teen abortion rates are going to jump by about 20% in March.

Anyway, here’s a look at some of the articles we have planned for this week.

Zac

• Easy-Bake Oven
• The complete lineup of Vuka Energy Drinks
• Weaties Fuel
• No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle (Wii)

Andrew:

• Other Lives Self-titled album
• Pheonix’s latest effort
• “Swoon” by Silversun Pickups
• Ep. 1 of the Last Season of Lost

Brandon:

• Mass Effect 2 (Xbox 360)

Hey guys, hope all is going well. There really haven’t been any big changes or updates that we need to talk about this week. We are going to start adding a “Coming Soon” section to the Updates, starting with this issue. We won’t get to everything that we put on the list every week, but it will give you at least a decent idea of what to expect in the upcoming week.

Coming Soon:

Zac

• Sugar Free Neuro Fuel
• Vuka Awaken
• Wheaties Fuel
• An exclusive interview with John Wozniak, the frontman of Marcy Playground

Clay

• Banquet Frozen Dinners

Andrew

• A list of the five most underrated actors in Hollywood

Brandon

• Fortress, the newest album from Protest the Hero
• Mass Effect 1 and 2

I’d say that’s going to make for a pretty exciting week!

Yep, you heard right! We’re going to delve into the wonderful world of internet porn video reviews with our very own little show! Everyview: The Video Review Show, as it will be titled, will be released in episodes every… well however long it takes our fat, lazy asses to finish each episode. Of course there will still be plenty of mega sweet written content for our readers to enjoy, these episodes are simply an expansion.

For the first episode we’ve got three wonderful products slated for review: the Ped Egg, Sonic’s Super Sonic Breakfast Burrito, and the e-Cigs, a more environmentally friendly and high tech way to get cancer. Of course these are all subject to change for whatever reason, and we might even add something if it comes up in time for filming.

Until next time, keep reading Everyview! Oh, and click on some of the newly placed ads along our sidebar to make sure we get to eat this week. Zac and Brandon always eat, and it shows. The rest of the crew? Maybe you should pray for them tonight. They’re looking pretty sickly.

Hey guys. Not too much to report on this week. You may notice a bit of a dip in reviews being published for the next few days. Christmas is right around the corner and we’re all busy making plans, shopping, and making any last minute addition to our list for Santa.

There are some changes happening to the site. Nothing big, but a few widget changes here and there. There are also some problems popping up due to code changes and such. If you notice any bugs feel free to us our email link at the bottom of the sidebar to let us know, as it would be greatly appreciated!

Have a very Merry Christmas everyone. I’ll see you before the New Year.