[Food Review] Hershey’s Milk Chocolate with Caramel

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Here’s a portion of a DoesItHitTheSpot.com review:

The problems started right off the bat for me, as there is an unpleasant, soggy quality to both the taste and texture of the bar. The result is a creation that, quite frankly, doesn’t taste good. It’s almost like something you picked up out of a swimming pool. Not quite that bad, mind you, but much closer than I would have hoped for.

Also, the aftertaste is much too strong. Granted I didn’t care for it the first go around, but a nearby beverage is an absolute must if you are going to attempt to eat this thing, because you will be tasting it hard for a long time after you’ve finished.

Lastly, it made my mouth very phlegmy. Hershey’s Milk Chocolate with Caramel gave me unfortunate flashbacks to the gross soups my mom used to force-feed me when I was battling strep throat as a kid. It didn’t make me feel sick, but there is an odd sort of illness recreation quality to the bar which is just another reason not to buy it.

Read the full review on Does It Hit The Spot by clicking here!

[Game News] Breach is Out Now for XBLA

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I recently got a download code for Breach, a fairly adequately anticipated XBLA first-person shooter that uses an innovative engine to create some pretty impressive destructible environments. I’ve been playing it a bit before I review it, as I’m trying to really gauge just how I feel about it. Anyway, while I’ve had my hands on it for a week or so now, it is finally available to the public on XBox Live Arcade. Here is a portion of the press release:

“We are proud to release an original title that has the quality and innovation of
a major retail game at a price anyone can afford,” said Peter Tamte. “By using technology
orginally built for Six Days in Fallujah, Breach offers features no one else can
match at any price. Our destruction and cover systems will forever change the way
games are played.”

Breach is unlike any other game. It is the first military shooter to use precise
and massive destruction to change the very nature of multiplayer combat. Combined
with an advanced cover system where players can use cover even while it is being
destroyed around them, Breach enables real-world tactics never possible before
now. Breach offers this destruction and active cover system all in a package that
costs less than US$20.00

To learn more about the game, head on over to the official website. Look for our review by February 1st.

[Energy Drink Review] Free Sin Vitality Drink: Greed (Lemon)

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Here’s a portion of a review posted on CaffeineCritic.com:

Sins you can commit without consequence are awesome. Things like becoming a Catholic Priest and swearing celibacy for The Lord only to turn around and molest small boys are usually fair game for all God-loving individuals. It’s also great to claim to love God and all of His children only to turn around and tell racist jokes about how worthless blacks and Mexicans are. Not to mention gay bashing. All of those sins are quite delightful, and there’s no way God would ever get mad at you for doing any of that!

This stuff isn’t a “Get Out of Hell Free” card, but instead a sugar free version of the Sin Vitality Drink I reviewed last week. Drinking Free Sin isn’t going to help you get away with murder in the eyes of our Father, unless you’re killing any man or woman of Middle-Easter descent, especially those bastards that built that Mosque by Ground Zero, but it does give diabetics that chance to Drink in Sin without losing their left foot a week later.

Be sure to read the full Caffeine Critic review by clicking here!

[Movie Review] Cyrus (2010)

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Cyrusis one  of those movies that really sneaks up on you. It has a fantastic cast, nice, quirky Indie Movie story, and a pair of brothers at the helm who have developed into two very reliable comedic minds, Jay and Mark, The Duplass Brothers.

Cyrus starts off and immediately thrusts you right into the world of John (played effortlessly by John C. Reilly), as he literally gets caught with his pants down by his ex-wife (Catherine Keener). She, and her future husband decide to invite John to a party to help get him out of his current funk. It’s at this party he meets Molly (Marisa Tomei), and after the two surprisingly hit it off,  her odd son, Cyrus (Jonah Hill) enters the fray. Continue reading →

[Book Review] “Behind The Bell” by Dustin Diamond

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve always loved Saved By The Bell. Sure there are detractors who will say the show is “lame” and “predictable” and “an inaccurate depiction of high school” and “in one episode, the Bayside gang makes a documentary in which they were inexplicably able to film dream sequences.” And while all that’s true, I never felt ashamed for liking it.

Well, that all changed recently, as my fandom overpowered my better judgment, causing me to spend money on Behind The Bell the behind-the-scenes tell all by Dustin Diamond, known to SBTB fans as Samuel “Screech” Powers. Not only is this the worst book I have ever read, it’s the only published work of any kind that has ever caused me to feel intense envy for the illiterate.

Basically all you need to know about this book is that the actor who played Screech hated his cast mates as well as many other aspects of the Hollywood life and decided to exact his revenge by writing this torturous excuse of a memoir.

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[Movie Review] Black Swan (2010)

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Black Swan is one of the most unique films I’ve seen in a very long time. It’s a well crafted, menacingly dark, vividly imaginative movie that coasts on a strong central performance from Natalie Portman and some voyeuristic direction from Darren Aronofsky.

The movie follows Nina (Portman), a young prodigy ballet dancer getting the biggest break of her career as the lead in a newly-imagined version of “Swan Lake”. It’s a pretty simple film, but one that handles the simplicity with such boldness that the film evolves into one of the most finely crafted films of the year.

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[Game Review] Disney Epic Mickey (Wii)

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System: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Junction Point Studios
Publisher: Disney Interactive Studios
Release Date: November 25, 2010
Genre: Action Adventure

I can’t tell you why, but something about this game had me more than just a little bit excited before its release. It was very strange, because I’m not generally interested in anything Epic Mickey had to offer. I’m not really a huge fan of Disney. I’m not one who cares greatly about decision/consequence gameplay. And the game’s biggest selling point to hardcore gamers, having Warren Spector behind production, didn’t excite me in least because I had no idea who that even was.

Still, I couldn’t help but getting hyped up for what I had convinced myself was going to be the next great Wii game. And then it actually hit store shelves, and the flood of reviews stating it was merely “average” or simply “good” caused my interest to wane immediately, and the game fell off of my radar until Christmas, when I received it as a gift from Santa Claus.

I can now confirm that the game is merely “good,” as many other critics have stated, but there is something special about Epic Mickey that makes the experience much more satisfying than I had expected.

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[Movie Review] The Fighter (2010)

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Hollywood produces, on average, about one boxing movie a year. Boxing. This year’s installment, The Fighter, might just be the best one ever. And yes, I know it’s lame to proclaim that after seeing a movie once, but The Fighter packs a hell of a punch all around, and also boasts 2010’s best performance: an enigmatic turn from Christian Bale as boxing prodigy/crack addict Dicky Eklund, while also elevating itself as being traditional, and unique, at the same time.

The Fighter centers on the improbable rise of “Irish” Micky Ward through the boxing ranks, despite having a ridiculously dysfunctional family in his corner. Ward is from Lowell, Massachusetts, and director David O. Russell does a great job right from the start of highlighting the pressure on the shoulders of Ward (Mark Wahlberg) to do something with his boxing career, and also the pressure on Dicky to return to his former glory in the ring while battling a severe crack addiction.

Lowell is portrayed as a locked door of a town, with Micky potentially holding the key to escape. As the movie develops, Micky becomes involved in a relationship with a dive bartender named Charlene (Amy Adams) who urges Micky to focus on his career without his family.

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[Mobile Game Review] MiniSquadron (Android)

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Operating System: Android
Played on: HTC Evo 4G
Developer: Gray Fin Studios
Genre: Arcade
Cost: $2.99

I’m sure at least one other person has noticed that the Android Market is finally starting to build a decent catalog of mobile games. It took way too long, but it’s finally starting to happen. Games like the recently reviewed Radiant HD, the soon to be reviewed Game Dev Story, Angry Birds and Guns n’ Glory, and many others have finally given me something to do while waiting in line at the BMV or ignoring my World Literature lecture.

MiniSquadron is an arcade-style, 2D sidescrolling aerial dog-fighter (an airplane game with guns) that offers plenty of innovation, exciting game modes, and tons of different planes to unlock and use to blast your enemies into smithereens. If you have an Android phone, listen up. This review’s for you.

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