[Energy Drink Revew] Red Bird Energy Drink

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Here’s a portion of a review for the Louisville Cardinals Red Bird Energy Drink:

Energy drink brands licensed by sports teams or athletes almost always suck.

Really.

The closest thing I’ve had to an energy drink endorsed by a pro sports athlete was Amp Tradin’ Paint, and that was licensed to the Dale Earnhardt Jr. name, and he’s not an athlete. He’s a race car driver. And anyone who thinks Nascar drivers are athletes, or that Nascar driving could ever be considered a sport is an idiot. That’s like saying cheerleading or women’s basketball are sports.

Read the full review on Caffeine Critic.

Ragin’ Cajun and Tangy Ranch Cheetos Review

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cheetos reviewHere’s a portion of a review for Ragin’ Cajun and Tangy Ranch Mighty Zingers Cheetos:

Throwing two different flavors into a single bag and calling it a day is certainly nothing new, as Doritos has been doing it forever with their Collisions line of chips. For Cheetos however, the idea of any flavor of snack crisp other than cheese or some variable of it seems ludicrous. That’s why New Cheetos Mighty Zingers caught my eye when they first came out some number of months ago. Sadly, they’ve been sitting in my locker at work ever since.

Luckily for you guys, I found them today (along with probably three other bags of chips, a box of cereal, some instant oatmeal, a bottle of honey, and a pair of women’s panties) and decided it was high time to give them a review. I really wish I could think of some clever joke to tell you right now, and throw a prominent “ZING!!!” onto the end of it, but unfortunately all I’ve got is a knock knock joke. Want to hear it? Read on, hungry reader.

 

Knock knock

I eat mop

EWWW!!! That’s gross! I can’t believe you eat your own poo!

“ZING!!!”

Pretty good, huh?

Read the full review over at Does it Hit the Spot?.

Theazine Energy Supplement Review on Caffeine Critic

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Theazine supplement review

Here’s a portion of a review for Theazine Energy Supplement:

Generally speaking, energy pills aren’t really my thing, and I’m not quite sure why. You can get as much caffeine out of a couple of tiny capsules as you can from an entire leading brand energy drink, only without all the sugars, carbs, and sodium often associated with highly caffeinated beverages. So when the good folks behind Theazine offered to send me a bottle of their product for review, I hesitated a bit before deciding to accept it.

Now I’ve meddled with energy supplements before, once to be exact, and had a very bad experience — a fact that likely attributes to my reluctance to ingest the pills now. I remember it vividly. I was taking a night class, algebra to be exact, during my senior year of high school when a fellow student offered me some supplements he’d stolen from a gas station before class was in session. Then, somehow, I ended up taking like six of them, likely due to a dare, and almost instantly regretted it. I felt dizzy, nautious, and my skin turned a strange speckled color combination of red and cream. And then I puked.

Looking back on that instance, I was an idiot.

Read the full review on our sister site, Caffeine Critic!

[Film Review] A Serbian Film (2011)

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There’s an old adage about scary movies that says what you don’t see is more frightening than what you do because nothing can duplicate the horror one envisions in his or her own mind. I couldn’t help but think about this theory as I watched A Serbian Film, a movie which peeked my interest based on several reviews and online forums which declared it to be “the most controversial film of all time.”

Though much of what I’d read regarding the movie repulsed me, I am, if anything, curious about films of this extreme nature even when I expect to be mortified by them. And while this movie certainly doesn’t lack in the way of shock value, much of the research I’d done prior to my viewing created mental images that made me much more uncomfortable than anything that came out of this predictable, boring and flat-out bad movie.

A Serbian Film

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We’re Back!

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Er… kind of. Editor Clay and myself have been trying to get things up and running again here lately, but I forgot how much it sucks to have to be motivated and to do things like writing and caring. At any rate, I’ve managed to get most things functioning again, so feel free to either sit on this page clicking “refresh” every 18 minutes or to come back at a later date and see if we’ve actually managed to follow through.

[Tech Review] Apple iPad2

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Until recently, I have never owned an Apple product outside of an 80GB iPod. I just wanted to lead off with that statement because, as many of you are likely fully aware, there are three types of people in this world: Those who absolutely LOVE Apple and every single product they pump out, those who opt to instead hate the company with a fiery passion for no discernible reason whatsoever, and those who quite simply don’t give a shit.

Myself? I quite simply don’t give a shit.

As I said, I own a regular old thumb-wheel iPod. The kind they had before all that touch-screen jazz and WiFi garbage. Just a simple, easy-to-use, well-built music player. It is an amazing product, and is far superior to the new iPod touches in nearly every manner as far as I’m concerned.

With the exception of that one gadget, I’ve never held even the slightest interest in anything Apple has made, including the iPad.

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[Drunk Game Review] BlazBlue: Continuum Shift II (Nintendo 3DS)

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I’m drinking this really awful wine. It’s called The Naked Grape and is an attractive-looking California pinot noir. Peanut noir, lol. Anyway, I’ve been so tired of not having a vast array of games on my new 3DS, that every game that comes out piques my excitement to the point where I run out and buy it ASAP.

My stomach hurts.

Such was the case with BlazBlue: Continuum Shift II. As I’ve said in my previous two reviews for fighting games on the 3DS, I’m just not that in to fighthing games. I like DOA: Dimensions a lot, and I got plenty of fun out of Super Street Fighter 4: 3D Edition, but I really don’t need yet ANOTHER fighting game to play. I knew that. Consciously even. I considered turning around on my way to the store, thinking that I really didn’t want the game. I just wanted more games for my 3DS. This is awful wine. Why am I drinking cheap-ass wine? I’m not a teenage girl.

 

Review:

Ok, so I played this game a little bit earlier and was unable to enjoy it. It’s too damn hard. Lol, Squidbillies is on TV. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s the episode with truck balls or whatever. Now there’s blood inside the window. And a face on the floor. Oh. A Bunch of baby squids. Lifeguard on Booty. This show is gross.

Anyway, it’s just too damn hard. It took so long to learn how to be compitant at SSFIV, and this game seems even harder to learn. I’m not a hardcore fighting fan. Why did I buy this game?

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