[The Everyview Update] 12/20/09

Posted on December 20, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Hey guys. Not too much to report on this week. You may notice a bit of a dip in reviews being published for the next few days. Christmas is right around the corner and we’re all busy making plans, shopping, and making any last minute addition to our list for Santa.

There are some changes happening to the site. Nothing big, but a few widget changes here and there. There are also some problems popping up due to code changes and such. If you notice any bugs feel free to us our email link at the bottom of the sidebar to let us know, as it would be greatly appreciated!

Have a very Merry Christmas everyone. I’ll see you before the New Year.

[Food Review] Viennetta Frozen Dairy Dessert Cake (Vanilla)

Posted on December 19, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Luxurious.

That’s the word that first crossed my mind when I spotted the box for Viennetta Frozen Dairy Dessert Cake sitting in the frozen aisle at the grocery at which I’m humbly employed. If I properly recall, it was about 8:00 in the morning, time for the first break of my 6AM to 2:30PM shift, and nothing sounded better for breakfast than this gorgeous looking ice cream cake.

I know what you’re thinking. “Hey fatty, ice cream cake isn’t cereal!” Shut your mouth, yes it is.

Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Slurm

Posted on December 18, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Futurama is one of my favorite shows of all time, and it is easily one of the best television programs to hit the tube in recent years. The character, setting, concept, and execution all put this show far above most others during its much too short four season lifetime, after which it was criminally canceled by the selfish assholes at Fox. I’ll never forgive them.

In the television show, Slurm is the greatest canned beverage of the year 3000. Seemingly perfect in every way, there isn’t a single person who dislikes it. That is, of course, until it is discovered that Slurm consists purely and entirely of a giant worm’s anus discharge. Even after this discovery, main character Fry simply cannot get enough of the delightful green liquid. It’s that good.

I don’t know what kind of worm’s ass they are sucking this real life Slurm out of, but it tastes just how I’d expect a worm’s anus slime to taste. Continue reading →

[Music Review] Gogol Bordello Live From Axis Mundi

Posted on December 18, 2009 by Brandon Majors

For those of you outside the know, Gogol Bordello is a gypsy punk band. A group of crazed, fun loving Eastern European nomadic people who play an impressive mix of punk, ska, and traditional gypsy music. It sounds a bit iffy on paper, I know, but I thought that too when I first listened to the band. Rest assured those of you who like punk rock, ska, or just crazy mix ups of music and sounds, this band is for you. But alas, I am here for the CD not the band.

Axis Mundi is an album three years in the making. A compilation of live sessions and bonus tracks recorded on a 2007 tour and from various other places since. The whole package is made up of a CD and DVD in a rather bright folding case. for 17 bucks it seemed like a good deal, and in my opinion it was money well spent. Continue reading →

[Music Review] Skewby “Proving You Wrong Since 1988”

Posted on December 17, 2009 by Andrew Majors

I’m familiar with rap music. I listen to hip-hop. It’s not exactly my favorite genre, but I find it a worthwhile one when done correctly. I frequently put on Kanye West, 2Pac, Notorious BIG, & Jay-Z, and find them to be the best of the genre for my tastes. I’m not at all versed on underground hip-hop, or stuff that isn’t the most mainstream from the genre. I listen to what I know, and since it’s not my favorite genre, I rarely if ever seek out new stuff I haven’t heard. Also, even when I do find tracks I like, I can never find out who the hell it is because people just burned some random Rap mix to play at a party, so I can never track down more by the artist. But I’ll tell you, this album that was sent to us is actually a pretty good album and, overall, I’m glad I listened to it.

Continue reading →

[Food Review] Hardee’s Monster Biscuit

Posted on December 16, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

The food world is full of choices. White or wheat, rare or well-done, medium or large, regular fries or curly, single or double, hash browns or home fries, etc. The list goes on for what seems like forever and, quite frankly, it is overwhelming! But of all of the panic and pressure caused by any choice I’ve ever had to make at a restaurant, nothing has been as difficult to overcome as “ham, sausage, or bacon?”

Hardee’s understands me. They know me. They get who I am. They understand that making such a decision borders on impossible for some people, and they have a solution. The Monster Biscuit: ham, sausage, egg, and bacon all shoved into a single breakfast sandwich. Hallelujah. Continue reading →

The REEL Top 5 Movies of the Last Decade

Posted on December 15, 2009 by Andrew Majors

My talented, dedicated, and extremely handsome Everyview Editor Clay casually listed his Top 5 Movies of the last decade, and it really got me thinking. Mainly because, as great as those 5 movies were, I don’t believe they are the finest achievements of the last ten years. Adaptation would be a little farther back, most likely in the 15-20 range. United 93 and Oldboy are both fine movies, but the fact that I never want to rewatch those films really effects my impression of them. And No Country For Old Men? It wasn’t even the best film of 2007!

Now, these are not my favorite films, necessarily. They are the films I think are the BEST of the last decade, overall. The ones that are destined to stand the test of time, and in twenty years, will be films people still watch and identify as a “classic”. It’s very hard to narrow down to 5, by the way. Especially when covering 10 years. Continue reading →

[Movies] David O. Russell in talks to direct Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Posted on December 14, 2009 by John Rogers

It’s true, the folks over at ScreenCrave report that David. O. Russell, the the director of I Heart Huckabees and the upcoming boxing film The Fighter, has his eyes set on directing the upcoming zombie/comedy film Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. What this means for the movie is uncertain, but if Natalie Portman is on board, then it will most likely be worth seeing.

The Worst Entertainment Pieces of the Decade

Posted on December 14, 2009 by Casual Clay Cunningham

After the smashing success (by which I mean, slightly less than appalling failure) of my Top Movies of the Decade List, I felt compelled to compile a list that goes in the exact opposite direction. But while it’s nice to play dress up on this site, I am hardly a professional critic. Throw in being poor, and it becomes increasingly difficult for me to accumulate enough items in various entertainment mediums to compile an entire list of pieces I hate in each particular category.

Luckily, monetary issues haven’t prevented me from encountering a great deal of things I detest from all aspects of entertainment. So at the risk of robbing the world of my amusing and articulate observations, I have decided to mash all my hatred into one big, self-indulgent piece. With that, I present to you my list chronicling the most malodorous individual pieces of excrement which have flowed from the bowels of the entertainment industry over the past ten years. Continue reading →

[The Everyview Update] 12/13/09

Posted on December 13, 2009 by XAQuiri Daiquiri

Last week I was shopping for Xmas gifts for friends and family and was approached by a young foreign woman selling manicure kits. After asking for a second of my time, she took me by the thumb and began to polish it with some magic rectangle that made my nail very shiny, all while talking to me about the fantastic deal she was going to give me on these perfect holiday gifts.

I’m not a sucker. I don’t waste money on overpriced novelties or fall for fraudulent salespeople’s tactics. I walked up to her with that attitude. I figured I would humor her. Let her talk, go along with her crap while being a loud and obnoxious douche bag to make her stand look like a joke and make her feel like an idiot for asking a young, financially struggling college student to buy her expensive crap. I was not, under any circumstances, going to buy a manicure kit.

I left with two.

The fact that she was very attractive is what made me give her a chance. The fact that she had a hot foreign accent made me stay. And the fact that she didn’t mind me staring at her awesome cleavage while she rattled on about some insignificant crap involving my cuticles made me buy. She was so hot, and I am such an idiot. A broke idiot. All because this hot foreigner let me stare at her boobies.

Anyway, no updates this week. See you guys tomorrow!