[Game Review] Army of Two: The 40th Day

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System: Xbox 360, PS3 (Also on: PSP)
Developer: EA Montreal
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Genre: Third-person Shooter

Some of you may be familiar with a game that dropped a few years back called Army of Two. It was a third person shooter much akin to Gears of war, but it featured two bad ass ex army rangers turned mercenaries. The game boasted the use of co-op (both AI and a second person) to complete the game’s many missions set across the globe and the past two decades.

You play as Salem or Rios. Salem is a wise cracking little guy with a temper to boot and a trigger finger to match. Rios is a lumbering behemoth who, though bearing the face of one caught making out with a wood chipper, is more subtle and easy going. (Easy going for a Bad ass Ex Army Ranger turned merc that is.) Continue reading →

[Movie Review] It’s Complicated

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I have a penis. Testicles as well. But you put a Nancy Meyers movie on a screen in front of me and I’ll enjoy it, girlfriend!

Okay, seriously. Without being overly dramatic, I enjoy her films a great deal. What Women Want, Something’s Gotta Give, and The Holiday — these are films that are quintessential romantic comedy viewing. So how does her most recent effort, It’s Complicated, compare with her prior work?

It’s Complicated centers around Jane (Meryl Streep) and her budding relationships with her ex-husband Jake (Alec Baldwin) and her architect Adam (Steve Martin). It’s a pretty unique tale of a woman having an affair with her ex-husband, while simultaneously trying to move beyond the relationship. Continue reading →

[Game Review] Silent Hill: Shattered Memories (Wii)

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System: Nintendo Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Climax Studios
Publisher: Konami
Genre: Horror/Adventure

In Shattered Memories players take control of Harry Mason shortly after he wrecks his car in a small, snow covered town named Silent Hill. After he regains consciousness and discovers that his young daughter Cheryl is no longer with him, he grabs his flashlight and heads out onto the icy streets in an attempt to track her down.

This is where the game starts, and from here things get extremely interesting in terms of story. Full of twists and turns, the ever evolving story proved to be much more interesting that the initial premise may lead you to believe. From start to finish you will likely be enthralled with trying to piece the mystery together and figure out what is going on before the game tells you, something I don’t often do with games. Continue reading →

[Food Review] Pepe’s Duros De Harina Puffed Wheat Snacks (Sabor a Chile y Limon)

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I took some Spanish in high school, a fact that might lead you to think that I know something about the language, but don’t be fooled. I only know the very basics. I can count to ten, ask where the bathroom is, get in trouble for sexual harassment,  order a cheeseburger and french fries, insult a fat dog’s Grandmother, and ask for a swine flu vaccine.

You can try to argue with me and tell me that is useless knowledge, but as far as I’m concerned there’s nothing else you need to know when visiting Mexico.

At least that’s what I thought until I got my hands on a bag of the (deep breath) Sabor a Chile y Limon flavor of Pepe’s El Original Duros de Harina Puffed Wheat Snacks. Trust me on this, these things are mucho delicious.

Continue reading →

The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special: In 3-D! On Ice!

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Overview:

I stand behind no one in my love and admiration of The Simpsons, which I believe, beyond the shadow of a doubt, to be the best show in the history of television. And while I frequently bicker about how it jumped the proverbial shark long ago, the laughs and endless re-watchability of its early years more than cancels out any hostility I may feel towards a current batch of inferior episodes.

Last night, to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the landmark series, Fox celebrated its greatness with “The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special: In 3-D! On Ice!,” a thoroughly entertaining and surprisingly in-depth hour-long documentary, made by Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me fame, which proved to be a fitting celebration of comedy’s greatest accomplishment. Continue reading →

[The Everyview Update] Video Review Show on the Way!

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Yep, you heard right! We’re going to delve into the wonderful world of internet porn video reviews with our very own little show! Everyview: The Video Review Show, as it will be titled, will be released in episodes every… well however long it takes our fat, lazy asses to finish each episode. Of course there will still be plenty of mega sweet written content for our readers to enjoy, these episodes are simply an expansion.

For the first episode we’ve got three wonderful products slated for review: the Ped Egg, Sonic’s Super Sonic Breakfast Burrito, and the e-Cigs, a more environmentally friendly and high tech way to get cancer. Of course these are all subject to change for whatever reason, and we might even add something if it comes up in time for filming.

Until next time, keep reading Everyview! Oh, and click on some of the newly placed ads along our sidebar to make sure we get to eat this week. Zac and Brandon always eat, and it shows. The rest of the crew? Maybe you should pray for them tonight. They’re looking pretty sickly.

[Energy Drink Re-Review] Neuro Fuel

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Just about a year ago I posted a review for an energy drink called Neuro Fuel, a drink that was so utterly horrible that nothing I’ve consumed before or since (except that time I though ate body spray by mistake. Don’t ask) has even come close to being as disgusting. So why am I willing to re-drink something I hated so much?

Well it turns out that the disgusting can of nasty I subjected myself to was actually an accidental “bad batch.” When the folks behind Neuro Fuel found my review, they were confident that if I tasted their drink the way it was meant to taste, then I would enjoy it much more.

Let’s see if they were right. Continue reading →

[Movie Review] Sherlock Holmes (2009)

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I’m here today to inform you about the new take on a classic hero, Sherlock Holmes.

Now I have never seen the original movies, nor have I read any of his books. The extent of my Holmes knowledge comes from the wonderful world of pop culture, combined with old cartoons and the like (such as the Sherlock Holmes in the future cartoon that was on T.V. a long time ago).  I went in to this knowing the basics i.e. super smart, pipe, Elementary Watson, etc, etc, nothing more nothing less. On to the movie.

We are introduced to Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) as he details his plans to incapacitate a lowly lackey. The detailing done in this scene set the stage for future encounters that Holmes has. After a few brutal ass whoopings inside an old tomb we meet Watson (Jude Law) who seems throughout the movie’s course that he could be his own movie star. Continue reading →

[Book Review] “Resident Evil: The Umbrella Conspiracy” by S.D. Perry

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The Umbrella Conspiracy was the first entry in a series of novels based on the popular Resident Evil video games that eventual reached a length of seven books. The original Resident Evil game for the PlayStation, the title this book is based on, is one of the greatest and most influential video games of all time, so it’s obvious that gamers (such as myself) have pretty high expectations for a novelization of the game.

Of course, life is full of disappointments.

About a week after I read Zero Hour (review), the series prequel which I rather enjoyed, I decided to pursue the series and read more of S.D. Perry’s RE novelizations. When I picked up The Umbrella Conspiracy, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what kind of quality to expect based on my experience with Zero Hour: a mostly faithful, largely nostalgic novelization of one of my favorite games that manages to hold my attention and entertain me throughout the experience.

While almost exactly what I wanted, The Umbrella Conspiracy still manages to disappoint on multiple levels.

Continue reading →