The Best Summer Albums

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There are few things better than driving around in the dead of summer with the windows down and some good tunes blasting over your speakers. These albums always remind me of the hottest months of the year, and are essential to have on any summertime road trip.

Phoenix Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

The poppy brilliance that is Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is perfect for a mid-afternoon amp up. It’s ten songs that absolutely fly by, and has you tapping your toes for miles and miles. Just make sure your aren’t tapping your toes with your foot on the pedal.

Kanye West Graduation

Kanye West has released four albums, with a fifth forthcoming this year. Each of the first four acually all remind me of a different season in themselves, and Graduation is a rousing summer set of songs. There are so many songs that embody everything the perfect summer day is about, from “Champion” to “Good Life” to “Flashing Lights”, you can let this thing repeat for a day before you realize it. The finales of “Homecoming” and “Big Brother” are a fitting conclusion to a bombastic collection of tunes.

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[Drink Review] Bossa Nova: Mangosteen with Passion Fruit

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This is the first review in a series that will cover the line of super fruit juices from Bossa Nova. They offer a wide range of drinks, ranging from this Mangosteen and Passion Fruit flavor to Acai and Blueberry (which is, in case you didn’t know, one of the greatest flavor combinations on earth) and many in between.

Now, I’ve never had mangosteen but I am willing to try new things, especially when they are as loaded with antioxidants as this is. I’ve been trying all sorts of antioxidizing juices and overall “healthy” drinks lately for some reason (yes, I drink more than just soda and energy drinks), so I’ve got a pretty good idea of how this stacks up to some other products out there. Let’s see how it does!

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[Drink Review] Black Jack: Calypso Green Tea (Fifty Things I’d Rather Do Than Drink This Stuff Ever Again)

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Black Jack’s Calypso Green Tea is one of, if not the worst thing I’ve ever drank. So, instead of writing a review and discussing the different attributes of the product as I normally would, I’ve decided to make a list of Fifty things I would rather do than drink this stuff ever again.

  1. Eat an oven roasted baby corpse
  2. Share the corpse with my dog
  3. Kill my dog
  4. Eat my dead dog
  5. Get raped
  6. Get raped by Dr. Phil
  7. Get raped by my own mother
  8. Cook my penis and feed it to Dr. Phil
  9. Use Ben Gay as lube for masturbation
  10. Stuff a lizard inside my pee hole Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] Vital Energy (Acai – Blueberry)

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A portion of a Caffeine Critic review:

Vital Energy has already proven itself as a competent brand to me once before in the form of their Tangerine flavored drink. It was a surprisingly solid beverage that, despite being an energy water, packed one hell of a punch. Now I’m looking at Acai-Blueberry, another flavor in the powerful line of products that has a flavor that sounds like it’s just about perfect for me.

Read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

[Music Review] Amon Amarth “Twilight of the Thunder God”

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twilight of the thunder god album artNow before we go into this review I need to ask you something. Are you a man? By the off chance that you, the reader, are a female then I ask you this; are you a man? If you’re a guy, chances are you’re not very manly, unless you’ve heard of Amon Amarth. Now there will be those of you that cry out “[Insert metal band] is sooo much more manly” but I am here to tell you YOU ARE WRONG! WRONG!

Amon Amarth, if you didn’t already know, is a Swedish melodic death metal band. Now these aren’t some lame excuse for a death metal band that prances around looking fashionable, these guys are big, burly, angry Swedes, not a combo that you think of much. Here’s the best part, all of their music is Viking themed. Now don’t go thinking Manowar, a bunch of airbrushed asshats standing around some maiden. Think Vikings. Big, nasty hair-having, fur-wearing, axe and sword singing, village burning vikings. If you weren’t aware, vikings have two goals in life: kill your family, and burn your village to the ground, both they do with a smile that would make the grinch look angry.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, on to the review.

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[Food Review] Lay’s Kettle Cooked Chips: Harvest Ranch

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A portion of a Does It Hit The Spot review.

I work at a grocery store as a bagger. Do you know what that means? It means I belong to the chain of stores I work for. I’m their slave. At times, I am their sex slave. I do what they say, when they say it. I have no input in anything that occurs in my company, nor will my opinions ever be valued by the higher ups. I push carts in 90 degree weather wearing black pants. I sweep floors, I mop spills, I clean human feces out of sinks in the bathroom, and I bag groceries with a smile on my face. I hate it.

Regardless, it’s a great place to work come lunch time. Anything I might be feeling that day is usually just a few aisles down. Of course, I also have a very tight budget. So when I’m not snacking on raman, Banquet meals, and dog food, oftentimes I’ll spend about $10 – $15 at once on food and feed off of it throughout the week. When I do this I like to get the basics: whole wheat bread, muenster, swiss, or pepper jack cheese, a 1 lb. package of lunch meat, Claussen pickles, and a bag of chips. Most recently I bought this Lay’s brand kettle cooked variety, the flavor sounding delicious and the “All Natural” label was enticing. They were a bit out of my regular budget, but I decided they would be a worthy trade over the usual bag of Funions.

Read the full review on DoesItHitTheSpot.com!

[Movie Review] Deadgirl (2008)

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Zombie movies are for many, myself included, their very own genre of film. You’ve got horror films, thrillers, suspense, and many different variations of the scary movie. Separated from all of them by category is the Zombie movie. It’s something that’s had many different takes by many different writers and directors, lead in quality and execution by the legendary George A. Romero, director and screenwriter of the “of the Dead” series of films — Night, Dawn, Day, Land, Diary and Survival — all of which serve as the basic building blocks for any Zombie movie that hopes to reach anything higher than garbage.

And still, despite being around since the premier of White Zombie in 1932 and popularized to peak heights with the release of Night of the Living Dead in 1968, some directors are finding new and unique takes on the zombie movie genre. Case in point – Deadgirl. It is certainly a zombie film, but unlike any I’ve ever seen. No hoards of living dead, very little flesh consumption, no head shots, and no apocalypse. What does Deadgirl offer instead? Zombie sex. And lots of it.

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[Game Review] Blacklight: Tango Down (XBLA, PSN)

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System: Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network
Developer: Zombie Studios
Publisher: Ignition Entertainment
Genre: First Person Shooter

Many of you, like myself some two weeks ago, likely haven’t heard of Blacklight: Tango Down, unless you frequent the Xbox Live Arcade. Blacklight is a game that was released last Wednesday in the live arcade, and has taken off since then. Here’s a little bit of insight to this sleeper hit.

Set in a fictitious Eastern Bloc city well into the future, Blacklight: Tango Down can be summed up for the most part in the phrase “Modern Warfare 2 in the future on Meth.” The game itself is ran off of the Unreal 3 engine, and maintains a visual aesthetic that is similar in many ways to the Infinity Ward giant. While keeping the same look, and somewhat of the same feel, Blacklight is a shooter all its own.

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[Food Review] Raybern’s Deli Style Philly CheeseSteak

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Over the winter time my pops and I went to Sam’s Club to stock up on freezer foods for whole sale prices. We try to keep a variety of grub in the icebox and try to keep an open selection so that nothing ever gets old. We stumbled upon these Philly Steak and Cheese sandwiches in the freezer foods section, specifically called “Raybern’s New York Deli Style Philly CheeseSteak.” Later into the night after coming home and hunger struck me, I decided to heat up one of these bad boys to see what they were like.

What’s really neat is that they’re wrapped up in paper, just like if you were buying it from a street vendor somewhere. You don’t have to unwrap it or anything, you just throw it in the microwave, heat it up for anywhere from 60 seconds to 75 seconds (depending on the wattage of your microwave) and you have a perfect-looking sandwich, melted cheese with the warm sliced steak, and the warm bread. When you bite into it, you have the authentic Philly Cheese Steak taste, and the nice thing about it is, you can make them whenever you want — because they’re in your freezer.

Read Trey Bolinger’s full review on Does It Hit The Spot!

[Film Review] The Bounty Hunter

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Quite simply, The Bounty Hunter sucks. Everyone knows why I make myself watch this crap, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

Like most failed chick flicks, The Bounty Hunter is trying to juggle way more than it’s capable of. Amidst the central relationship between Nicole and Milo, there are peripheral goings-on that really doom the movie right from the start. Nicole (Jennifer Aniston) is a reporter investigating a suspicious murder within the New York City Police Department. She herself was recently arrested, but we don’t find out exactly why until the last fifteen minutes of the movie. The “big reveal” isn’t worth it at all. It’s just like the rest of the movie. Lame, lame, lame.

Milo (Gerard Butler) is a former detective who was fired from the department and turned to bounty hunting. So he has a stake in uncovering that one of his best friends and ex-partner is innocent. He’s given the opportunity to track down his ex-wife and bring her in for a $5,000 reward, and jumps at the chance. A flimsy plot, yes, but it could have possibly worked on at least a mediocre level. But it never does. This is almost entirely because every single character (except for one) is severely unlikeable.

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