[Restaurant Review] Miko’s Cafe

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Here’s a portion of David Roshinksi’s review on Does It Hit The Spot:

There are three things that I love about Sundays: a nice long drive with no traffic, acoustic versions of great songs on the radio, and a really good, hearty breakfast. Today I got to do all three on the way home north of Boston.

Miko’s was a nicely designed and decorated café with three sections, small tables up front, larger tables and booths in the middle and the diner counter with high backs where I sat in the back. At the counter there was a brilliantly ornate antique cash register more for show than function. Up top in the inlay was a large flat screen TV that softly chirped the news and built into the counter was a very appropriately placed foot rest.

Be sure to read the full review on DIHTS.com.

[Energy Drink Review] AriZona Green Tea Energy Drink

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Here’s a portion of a review for AriZona Green Tea Energy Drink:

After popping the tab and leaning in for a whiff, I was taken completely aback by the disgusting aroma I had discovered. Tuna!? It smelled like fucking tuna! I don’t think I’ve ever ran into an aroma less appealing than this; the disgusting fishy smell of a nearly dead prostitute’s swollen, disease-ridden mound pulsing out a creamy puss-like substance from her bloodied and thoroughly gnarled snatch. I can almost imagine the greasy, wiry hairs now. Ugh. This smells awful. I even poured it out into a cup, thinking that maybe there was just some canned fish juice that had spilled out onto it. Nope, it smells like tuna. Absolutely disgusting.

Be sure to read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com

[Restaurant Review] Sea Dog Brew Pub

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Here’s a portion of David Roshinski’s review on DIHTS:

After interviewing with a brewpub before it opens, what is the next best place to have lunch with a old friend? Another brewpub of course! My friend Chris and I wanted to catch up since he just returned from Florida. Upon arriving the first small issue arose, the parking for the restaurant is quite small and I had a large boat trying to slowly push past cables into the water. However the view of the water from where I did get to park was well worth the minor frustration. The brewpub is located on the 3rd floor of the building and you can either take the stairs or industrial-looking elevator.

Be sure to read the full review on DoesItHitTheSpot.com

[Movie Review] The Town (2010)

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The Town is Ben Affleck’s directorial follow-up to his impressive debut Gone Baby Gone. Where his previous film was perhaps a bit grimier and grittier, The Town boasts all the obvious step-ups in production value. The chases are slicker, and explosions are more grand, and it’s yet another Bostonian Crime film that holds your emotions in the palm of its hand for the entire two hours.

Ben Affleck gets a pretty bad rep from a lot of people who claim that his acting is hollow or wooden. Those folks made the mistake of thinking movies like The Sum of All Fears or Paycheck were going to be anything more than big-budget, special effects-laden popcorn flicks. Affleck never proved to be the weak link in his weaker films, and since turning his focus behind the camera he has shown a real great sense of telling a compelling and engaging story. In all honesty, Ben Affleck directs the movies Clint Eastwood would direct with an extra shot of adrenaline, a pair of testicles, and minimal sentimentality. With The Town, we are presented with an area (The Charlestown area of Boston) where it immediately becomes obvious that crime is the only real career choice for work.

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[Book/Website Review] theroomnovelization.blogspot.com

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Overview:

As I’ve stated in the past, I am an avid fan of the trashy and ultra-incompetent 2003 movie The Room. Like many people (all of whom unfortunately have no connection to this site whatsoever), I find each viewing of this masterpiece to be a gift from God himself, and as awful as it is, it’s thoroughly entertaining in a way that it trumps most every media creation over the past decade.

Well, hoping to bring the movie’s enigmatic appeal to the literary crowd, a Canadian blogger named Marcus Sullivan has taken this gripping tale of love, betrayal and emotional apart tearing of and crafted The Room Novelization, which, as it sounds, is a novelized version of the film. And while this “book” won’t offer much in terms of entertainment to people unfamiliar with the film, for those of us who are, it’s a mostly delightful companion piece.

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[Game Review] Metroid: Other M (Wii)

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System: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Team Ninja/Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Action

It hasn’t been since Super Metroid’s release on the Super Nintendo that we’ve gotten a console Metroid title developed by anyone but Retro Studios. Having finished up their highly acclaimed Metroid Prime Trilogy at last and moving on to tackle other projects, Nintendo shifted the series from Retro and handed it to a team that no gamer on Earth could have anticipated: Team Ninja.

Awesome.

Team Ninja is best known for the likes of Dead or Alive, Ninja Gaiden, and putting a ridiculous emphasis on virtual tits and ass. But guess who else would be there leading the project forward? Yoshio Sakamoto, the man who crafted Super Metroid, the finest action-focused Metroid game in existence. With a team like this, it’s hard not to have high expectations for a game. Does Other M manage to live up to the ridiculous hype it garnered?

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[Movie Review] She’s Out of My League (2010)

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She’s Out of My League stars Jay Baruchel as Kirk, a nerdy guy who works in an airport who works with all of his best friends. He finds a lost iPhone that happens to belong to a hot “perfect 10” named Molly. When he returns it to her they hit it off and begin a relationship, despite the obvious difference in their public statuses.

The movie fails to highlight the genuine attraction that Molly would have for Kirk at first, and only later begins to explain that she’s looking for a guy who isn’t going to hurt her in a long term relationship. Of course, Kirk is more than happy to reap the benefits by dating a girl obviously out of his league.

The chemistry between Baruchel and Molly (Alice Eve) is decent, but the problem lies with Baruchel’s inability to carry a movie by himself. I’m not a huge fan of his usually, and he provides little here to believe he can ever be anything more than a peripheral character in a comedy. He doesn’t play the awkward guy as well as some might think, and it’s somewhat annoying at points here. Still, Kirk is a decently honest guy who realizes his great luck, and he’s not terrible.

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[Energy Drink Review] THiNQ Sparkling Citricity

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Here’s a portion of a Caffeine Critic review:

About two months ago I posted my review for the Mixed Berry flavor of THiNQ, and now I’m finally back with a long overdue critique for Sparkling Citricity. Though in my defense I have been slowly polishing off the entire case sent to me by the kind folks at THiNQ HQ, taking mental notes on if the drink has been having any lasting effects over a long period of time. If you’ll recall in my Mixed Berry review, I said that regular intake provided sustained energy, but that was only over the course of a little more than a week. I wanted to know if it kept improving my energy level beyond that.

Be sure to read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com

[Movie Review] I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (2010)

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One of my first reviews for this site was a book review on Tucker Max’s autobiographical recounting of several stories of varying debauchery. The first time through, the book is a raucous, sleazy, often hilarious journey through this guy’s life as basically a championship asshole. The book doesn’t hold up as well as I’d anticipated on subsequent readings once  the initial shock and hilarity wears off, but that first go around is fantastic.

And then I heard they were optioning it into a film, and I got worried. Were my fears justified? Unfortunately, they were.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell isn’t a completely terrible movie by any means, it’s just a majorly frustrating one. The book works on the strength of the series of stories Max has to tell, and the differences between them. They’re short, they flow well, and are entertaining as hell. The film decides to structure itself into one long narrative focusing on Tucker’s friend Dan’s Bachelor Party and subsequent wedding, while throwing in pieces of stories from the book that I didn’t recognize as being connected, mainly because they aren’t. Everything in the film is based on a true Max story, but the overall narrative of the movie is tailored to connect the dots of stories that aren’t exactly connected. I hate that approach, and it seems lazy and blatantly disrespectful of its intended audience (i.e., people who read the book).

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[Imported Toiletries Review] Sainsbury’s Super Soft Moist Toilet Tissue

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Overview:

Back in April of aught nine, I wrote perhaps my most acclaimed review (my mom alleges she showed it to two of her co-workers who upon reading it said I should write for a sitcom) about Cottonelle Fresh, a moist adult wipe so refreshing, it transformed each act of defecation into a cause for celebration.

While my love for said product hasn’t cooled in the 17 months since that review was posted, my interest in sampling similar products to see how they compared never faded. So when my pretend ex-fiance informed me she was paying a visit stateside from her royal palace in London, she brought for me a present which she claimed to be a quality British companion to my beloved Cottonelle Fresh.

The product is Sainsbury’s Super Soft Moist Toilet Tissue. So, after polishing off a Digornio Pizza For One, I was ready to hit the town. Here’s how they stacked up. Continue reading →