Category Archives: Random

Butterfinger Buzz Bar (Food Review)

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Butterfinger Buzz is a limited edition King Size candy bar loaded with 80 mg of caffeine — the same as the majority of energy drinks on the market. I found them at my local video rental store when picking up my copy of Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop to review, in hopes it would get me through a night of zombie-slaying while waggling my Wiimote.

butterfing-buzzI know what some of you are saying, though. Candy and Caffeine? Didn’t we try that with those horrible Vojo Energy Mints a while back?

Caffeinated candies are certainly nothing new, but finding good ones can prove to be hard work. Caffeine is a very bitter-tasting substance, and adding caffeine to things is never a good idea if you can’t balance the flavors properly to cover it up. Even Jolt Gum and Snickers Charged, two of the best caffeinated candies on the market, have a noticeable bitter bite when held in comparison to other gum’s or chocolate bars.

Butterfingers have always been my favorite candy, though. Nothing beats the smooth texture of its creamy chocolate coating that covers the crunchy core composed of a crispy combination of  compact peanut butter and sugar that crumbles in your mouth with every satisfying crunch. Take that Butterfinger B.B. slogan! “Crispety, Crunchety, Butterfinger BB’s!” ain’t got nothing on me!

Upon primary visual inspection, everything that I loved about the original seems to be intact with the Buzz. The only difference I was able to notice was that the core of the candy was a much darker orange color than its mother.

Now it’s time to test the taste and texture. Texture first, of course. You see, my absolute favorite thing about Butterfingers isn’t the way it tastes, but rather picking the crunchy substance out of your back teeth and sucking the chewed up chunks off of my finger. I know it sounds disgusting, but getting a huge chunk of leftover Butterfinger out of your molars is one of the most satisfying feelings I know.

A+! The Butterfinger Buzz manages to retain nearly the exact same texture as the original bar. And knowing that the Buzz is packed full of caffeine makes picking those slimy crisps out of my molars much more satisfying.

But does Butterfinger Buzz beat the bitter bite that’s plagued-caffeine cramped candies since the very beginning? While there is a slight bitter flavor detectable amongst the pure delight of peanut butter and chocolate, it is very, very subtle.

If you were to give it to a friend who didn’t know it was caffeinated, I doubt they would notice anything different about it at all. It has the same delicious flavor and texture as the original candy bar with the least noticeable bitter taste out of any caffeinated candies I’ve ever tried, especially caffeinated chocolates.

butterfinger-buzz-barThe only thing about the Butterfinger Buzz that really bothers me is the fact that it is only available as a limited edition candy. And I mean very limited. So limited in fact, that it should have been yanked from store shelves at the end of April, but supplies lasted long enough for the promotion to bleed into May. If you really want one of these you need to high-tail it to the nearest 7-Eleven or video store and see if you can’t secure your own bar. That or the internet.

Final Words:

The Butterfinger Buzz is easily the best caffeinated candy bar I’ve ever had. The bitter flavor added by the caffeine is hardly noticeable unless you are looking for it, it retains the same taste and texture that makes the original Butterfinger such a popular favorite, and it has the same amount of caffeine as most energy drinks on the market.

If you like Butterfingers and energy drinks, this is for you.

Pros

  • 80 mg of caffeine…
  • … That you can barely taste!
  • Same taste and texture as the original

Cons

  • It’s promo time is already over, good luck ever getting to taste this exquisite candy

Score: 9.0/10 (Amazing)

Taste: 9.75/10 (If you liked the original you’ll love this. Caffeine is barely noticeable)
Kick: 9.0/10 (Candy that kicks your ass into a higher gear than any other chocolate out there)
Value: 8.5/10 (Slightly more than a regular King Size, 80 mg more caffeine!)

Weekly Recap for May 11th – 16th

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The Weekly Recap is published every Sunday, and it is the only post to be published on Sundays. It features a list of all, or most articles published throughout the week with links back so you can easily see anything you may have missed. Enjoy!

We’ve started doing news articles as opposed to our standard nothing-but-reviews thing we were sticking to for a while. We realized that was stupid when we couldn’t keep enough traffic on the site to satisfy my need for readers. So far it’s a winning strategy, so expect more posts per day from now on.

Anyway, those are all of the big articles for this week. And as always, keep reading Everyview!

The Master Debate: “Blank Check” VS “First Kid”

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Welcome readers to the first (and hopefully not last) installment of “The Everyview Correspondent Master Debate,” which was previously announced last week. The debated topics this week are two live-action Disney pictures, 1994’s “Blank Check” and 1996’s “First Kid.”

“Blank Check” tells the story of Preston Waters, a lonely kid whose dreams of high finance are fulfilled when a burglar runs over his bike and gives him a blank check to cover the damages. When he discovers Preston wrote the check for a million dollars, the burglar and his associates try to get their money back, only to discover that Preston (and his alias “Mr. Macintosh) isn’t the “blank” slate they had assumed he would be. Arguing on behalf of the film is Andrew Majors.

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“First Kid” is the tale of Sam Simms, a goofy but lovable Secret Service Agent whose dreams of landing a gig in the White House finally come true…when he’s assigned to protect the President’s bratty teenage son Luke. Though initially reluctant of his new assignment, Simms forms an unbreakable bond with young Luke and grows to find that maybe, just maybe, that dream job was right in front of him the all along. Making a case for this film is Clay Cunningham.

At the end there will be a poll where you, the reader, can decide who made the better argument and which is the better film. Results will officially be tallied one week from when the arguments were posted.

So read up, and make your voice heard. And don’t be afraid to get your friends involved as well. Let’s all enjoy the wonders of democracy together.

Blank Check:
Argument by: Andrew Majors

blank_checkBlank Check is a film with no equal.

The story is simple. A kid is given a check in haste that, you guessed it, happens to be blank. The premise is simple. The execution of this story is second to none.

The main character, Preston, shows a trait that is lost in today’s live-action children’s movies: BALLS. He takes this blank check, and he writes it for ONE MILLION DOLLARS. He’s not greedy. He just wants a sum that will both repair his destroyed bicycle, and leave him with about $999,965 dollars in damages. Had he been greedy, he could have hired a lawyer and walked away with at least quintuple that sum!

The movie is just as relevant today as it was in 1994 ( A year in which is was possibly overshadowed by other great films like The Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, and Pulp Fiction), and the real stand-out performance is given by Brian Bonsall as Preston. Older audiences might recognize him from Family Ties, (as the adorable Andy Keaton) He’s a kid and he handles his new found fortune with great maturity, choosing not to blow his money on worthless trinkets, but choosing to invest in his local economy by purchasing a home. Mature beyond his years, that kid. Bonsall delivers the performance of a lifetime,thrusting himself into a role so demanding and so emotionally draining, that even Daniel Day Lewis must have been impressed.

While First Kid can boast an all-star cast that Blank Check can not (Sinbad and Zachary Ty Bryan), Blank Check thrives off of a lesser-known cast, and achieves a sense of realism First Kid just can not. A real standout performance from a successful musician Tone Loc gives the film all the star power it needs. And while we’re at it, give me Tone Loc over Sinbad any day. Loc provides a performance obviously channeled from the greats like Brando and Nicholson, while Mr. Bad obviously is just playing for laughs, making actors like Jimmy Fallon look award-worthy.

I believe Disney really missed the boat by never cashing in, and making this a franchise. A world with three High School Musical’s, and one Blank Check? This isn’t a world I want to live in.

If you like intimate character studies, and love to laugh, Blank Check is a must-see. If you like seeing a young boys bare ass, maybe check out First Kid.

First Kid:
Argument by: Clay Cunningham

The fact this debate needs to exist is silly, but since it does, I will state what we already know: “First Kid” is a vastly superior picture.

first-kidIt’s better because of the acting. Sinbad and Brock Pierce have undeniable chemistry as Sam and Luke, the secret-service agent and President’s son who have no choice but to get along with each other. To see the metamorphosis of their relationship from contempt to friendship is beautiful.

The stand-out performance is by Zachary Ty Bryant. FINALLY freed from the shackles of his Brad Taylor persona, ZTB gets to sink his teeth into the role of Rob, the school bully and knocks it out of the park. His performance will chill you right to the bone.

It’s better because of its prophetic view on race relations. Not only is the main character black, but so is the head of the Secret Service. It was great that in 1996 we got to see a multi-racial comradery in the White House. Would the Obama election have happened without this film? Not saying yes, but definitely not saying no.

Conversely, who’s the primary black character in “Blank Check?” A thief…named Juice. Nice.

It’s better because it’s not ridiculous in its execution. Are you telling me that young Preston could buy a lavish house, a go-cart track, a water slide and a shitload of other marvels and spend a mere $999,675? Can you imagine if everyone were to overspend this drastically? That could create a global economic crisis. Thank God that could never happen in real life, right?

Finally, it comes down to the message these movies leave for their impressionable young viewers. They each have the noble set-up of kids struggling to fit in, and both have an “everything will be ok if you just….” message. Here’s how each movie fills in the blank:

“First Kid”…believe in yourself

“Blank Check”…commit fraud and grand theft

Sure Preston stole from bad people, but so what? That little weasel would have stolen from a children’s charity and not given it a second though. Is it any wonder the movies star Brian Bonsall is currently a fugitive from the law? I don’t think so.

I’m not saying my opponent is a crumbum. His taste in movies says more than words ever could. If you like viable social behavior, or just better filmmaking, make the right choice. Vote “First Kid.”

Polls are close, sorry but you missed out. Check out the results here.

Re-Review: The Volcano Taco

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Overview:

When the Volcano Taco disappeared from Taco Bell’s lineup, mass depression settled over these United States, throwing the once hopeful souls of the eaters who had once lived off of red shells and Lava Sauce into the the darkest depths of Hell along with the memory of their precious taco. People took their own lives, children drowned their grandmothers, kittens were killed, and darkness engulfed the Earth*.

tacobell-volcano-reviewFinally our hero rises from Hell, bringing with it an immense heat capable of thawing the coldest of hearts and filling the darkest souls with an immense, pure light. But will it be enough? Will we remember the Volcano Taco the way it was before being cast into Satan’s Inferno? Will we even remember how to smile? It’s review time.

* = Lies

Re-Review:

Wait, “Re-Review?” Longtime readers may remember that we’ve actually already reviewed the Volcano Taco once before. In fact, it was the second thing reviewed on Everyview. Since the removal from the menu, however, my memory has grown rusty and clouded with forgetfulness. If you want to read the original review, you can find it here. It is very poorly written and outdated, however, so I suggest just sticking with this one.

The Volcano Taco is essentially your standard crunchy taco with a couple of small changes that make a gigantic difference. The first and most noticeable differentiation between the two is the Red Shell, swapped in to replace the standard yellow corn shell. The second, more important addition is the inclusion of Lava Sauce, and extremely spicy and flavorful condiment.

It is worth noting that the Red Shell itself contains no heat or spice whatsoever. It is simply died red to give a warning that says “Eat me now, pay for it later.”

Since the Lava Sauce is the only ingredient that makes a difference in taste, let’s take a slightly closer look at that. Most people think that Lava Sauce would be absolutely unbearably spicy, which is untrue. The lava sauce isn’t even as hot as the Fire Sauce in all honesty, but possesses a deep, rich flavor that perfectly compliments the flavored beef, lettuce and cheese that top the taco and provide a decent amount of flavorful kick that is sure to satisfy but not overpower.

If you’re the kind of person who has to do things to prove to yourself that you aren’t as worthless as your drunk Mother has been telling you since you were 7 years old, then eating one of these is cheating. It’s no where near as hot as portrayed in commercials, so if you’re looking for a self-fulfilling challenge to be proud of c0mpleting, throw a pack or so of Fire Sauce on top and get ready to sweat.

One thing I have noticed is that the return has brought a higher price tag with it. What was once an 89 cent value menu item now runs around $1.19 (price may differ by region), an entire 40 cents more. I guess the original price was simply a part of its promotional campaign, but such a jump is rather ridiculous in my humble and admittedly cheap opinion. However, it’s definitely worth it and $1.19 isn’t too much to pay for something this delicious.

Final Words:

I walked in to the Taco Bell right next to my place of employment the day these came out. The cashier, who recognized me from my frequent visits to the store during my lunch break, instantly knew what I was after. I used to pop these tacos like addicts pop pills, like needles pop balloons, like people with virgin fetishes pop… well you get the point.

They are absolutely delicious and manage achieve the perfect balance of heat, placing flavor before spice. Even the 40 cent price raise can’t be held against it since the original price of 89 cents was for a limited-time promo deal only. I highly recommend these to anyone with a preference for spicy foods.

Pros

  • I never thought I’d be able to order a Volcano Taco again
  • The distinctive Red Shell
  • Lava Sauce achieves the perfect balance of heat and flavor

Cons

  • You’ll pay for it later. Trust me

Score: 8.8/10 (Great)

Taste: 9.5/10 (Delicious)
Ingredients: 9.0/10 (The smallest changes make the biggest differences)
Value: 8.0/10 (40 Cents more than a standard crunchy taco)

Dead Rising (Xbox 360 Game Review)

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Overview:

System: Xbox 360
Developer: Capcom
Publisher: Capcom
Genre: Action/Zombie Apocalypse

deadrising_x360_box_frontWhen Dead Rising was first announced, it was considered to be nothing more than “the other zombie game from Capcom,” always sitting within Resident Evil’s shadow. After the game was released, however, it quickly became something else: Every zombie fan’s wet dream.

Dead Rising isn’t your typical zombie game, and it’s about as far away from Resident Evil as you could possibly get. Instead of placing focus on eerie music, scripted scares, and cheap thrills, Dead Rising is all about squeezing as many zombies onto the play field as humanly (or otherwise) possible, and they are all there for you to beat, batter, and mutilate at your own free will. Just make sure they don’t get you first.

Review:

Dead Rising opens with a helicopter flying high above the ground, composed mainly of mountains. Inside is the game’s main protagonist, Frank West, an ambitious freelance photojournalist with a taste for adventure and a craving for the next big scoop. Pretty soon the ‘copter arrives at a small town called Willamette, Colorado. While flying over Frank notices  the army has blocked off all of the roads leading into the town. Something big must be happening.

This is when the game puts the cut-scene in your hands and gives you a taste of the addictive picture-taking gameplay element, tasking you with taking pictures of various gruesome scenes occurring throughout the isolated town. Along your flight you encounter several grisly murders like a woman waving for help whilst standing atop her vehicle, desperate for rescue. You are then forced to watch as she is devoured by a horde of the living dead. Another memorable scene from that first tidbit of gameplay features a citizen fending off a zombie attack on a roof 30 feet or so above the ground. The scene ends with the character falling to his death.

In the first 5 minutes of this game, you know it’s going to be awesome.

After a brief run-in with the air guard, you are forced to jump out of your helicopter so the pilot can retreat out of the town before being shot down. Before taking off, he promises you he will return in three days. This is where the games main mode of play, 72-hour mode, begins. Over the next three days you will encounter a plethora of characters, some sane and some definitely not, in an attempt to find out what’s going on and why. There are some good twists and you never really know what is going on until the very end.

One huge complaint I have with the story mode is the fact that there is very little time allowed for unguided discovery and adventure. Right when you embark on a rescue mission you notice you are running out of time to perform a required task, which usually requires you to be at a certain place at a very specific time. If you aren’t there, you are forced to restart if you want to uncover the truth behind the infection.

Another gripe is the save system. Saving is handled either through sleeping or going to the bathroom, fairly common in the video gaming world. The problem is the endless legions of undead, walking corpses plaguing the path in between you and sanction. You’ll often times die trying to find a place to save your game or on your lengthy journey to the next story event, which is a huge pain in the ass because of the game’s lack of checkpoints. This forces you restart at every death or failed story event, which can be absolutely infuriating if you haven’t saved your game in a while.

The Willamette mall is astonishingly huge, especially for being in a town who’s major distinguishing features, as described the pilot at the beginning of the game, “Jack shit.” And when I say it’s huge, I mean it is huuuuge! And it has just about everything imaginable in it, too. It’s no wonder there’s nothing else in the town. You’ll find a plethora of entertainment stores, guitar stores, camera stores, clothes stores, kids’ stores, restaurants, and accessory stores strewn about multiple levels and separated by a huge contained park in the middle of the mall.

deadrisingmegamansuitAnd the really amazing thing is that you can fully interact with every store in the gargantuan mall. Find hats to wear, sport some slick shades, grab a bite to eat. Hell, you can even dress Frank up entirely in a MegaMan suit if you can find it.

The stores you’ll really want to find and mark on your map, though, are the hardware stores and the gun store, the latter of which is possibly the best department to know the location of and both are ample sources for some of the most powerful weapons in the Willamette metropolis.

When roaming the mall you’ll have to use anything and everything you can find in any of these aforementioned stores to to fend off zombie attacks, which will be plentiful. There can be hundreds upon hundreds of zombies on-screen at any single moment, and the halls and corridors of the Willamette Shopping Center are always filled to the brim with legions of undead corpses looking for some hot flesh to devour.

deadrisingconvictbattle

Zombies aren't the only things you are gonna have to worry about.

And when I say “anything and everything” will need to be used in your struggle to stay alive, I mean “anything and everything.” Capcom managed to create an absolutely marvelous amount of items in the game that players will need to improvise and turn into weapons. From buckets and chainsaws to mannequins and plastic lightsabers, you can pick up just about anything and use it to bash the brains out of the living dead.

Aside from mutilating zombies, Dead Rising provides gamers with an interesting photography element which requires you to get the best pictures of various scenes to get the most PP you possibly can. PP, or Prestige Points, are awarded for every action performed, and once you gain enough of them you’ll level-up and gain more health, inventory space, or a new ability which will make conquering the zombie-infested shopping paradise that much easier.

After the 72 Hour mode is completed, which only takes about 8 or 9 real hours, players will unlock Overtime Mode, which can be conquered in around 2. After the story is completely finished, players will then gain access to Infinite Mode, which challenges you to survive for as long as possible before finally biting the dust.

deadrisinglotsofzombies1

There are LOTS of Zombies in Dead Rising

In terms of graphics, Dead Rising is a true technical masterpiece. It may not be the most gorgeous game of all time, but just wait until you find your way into the underground parking garage, where countless numbers of zombies roam. You’ll be absolutely blown away at the sheer amount of characters Capcom managed to squeeze on-screen at once.

It also possesses a solid audio design, and the smashing of a sledgehammer into the soft skull of a zombie has never sounded so good. The voice over, however, is pretty inconsistent throughout the game. It ranges between excellent and B-Grade. The greatest moments of voice acting are achieved, of course, during the main story’s cut scenes while the bad acting comes from all of the extra characters you save in the game.

All in all, Dead Rising has an amazing amount of entertainment value. Though the mere 10 hours of story may seem underwhelming by most standards, it’s the Infinite Mode that gives players the ultimate zombie-slaying experience. It’s this mode that finally allows you to explore the Willamette mall without running out of time and being forced to to participate in the story events scheduled throughout the main mode. This provides unlimited time for discovery and adventure throughout the zombie-ridden mall.

A final note worth mentioning is that every achievement, no matter how easy or difficult to acquire, is worth 20 G. This provides little inspiration to continuously play the game in an attempt to unlock the hardest achievements.

Final Words:

Dead Rising sure came a long way since being labeled as a cheap, repetitive beat-em-up knockoff of Capcom’s real zombie game, Resident Evil. It succeeds in being an entirely different, unique, and refreshing experience which proves to be extremely addictive. Despite a few flaws and cheap achievements, Dead Rising is an absolutely astonishing title and one that will keep you coming back time and time again.

Pros

  • Zombies, zombies, zombies!
  • Astonishing amount of enemies on-screen at any given moment
  • Just about anything is a weapon
  • The Willamette Mall is awesome!
  • The addictive photograph-capturing element
  • Dressing Frank up like Mega Man

Cons

  • Only one save slot
  • No checkpoints
  • Lame achievements

Score: 9.2/10 (Amazing)

Gameplay: 9.5/10 (Kill legions of undead with anything you find in a shopping metropolis)
Graphics: 9.25/10 (While it may not blow your mind on the surface, wait until you see how many enemies it is capable of rendering at once)
Audio: 8.25/10 (Great effects, voice acting ranges from expertly done to pathetically amateur)
Entertainment Value: 9.75/10 (Nearly endless entertainment comes with the nearly endless hordes of undead cannibals)

Game News: Dead Rising 2 Means Dead Rising Reviews Soon!

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In honor of Dead Rising 2 finally being revealed and looking so effing awesome I’ve decided to bring you guys three special reviews before it launches. The first and most obvious is a review for the original Xbox 360 hit, Dead Rising. After that I’ll be taking a look at Dead Rising: Chop ’til You Drop, the Wii exclusive remake of the original. Lastly I’ll bring all of you BlackBerry owners a review of Dead Rising Mobile on the BlackBerry Curve.

deadrising2logo

After all of those are finally published you’ll know Dead Rising 2 is closer than ever before, and that means you should squeal like you’ve got Swine Flu. Anyway, keep an eye out for some awesome Zombie Genocide action in the coming weeks right here on Everyview!

deadrising2screen

Looks hella purdy, eh?

Mitch Hedberg: “Do You Believe In Gosh?” (Album Review)

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Overview:

Mitch Hedberg, a cult icon in the world of stand-up comedy, was one of the truly great and original voices of his time. His innovative and hilarious style essentially made him peerless; making his death of a drug overdose on March 29, 2005 all the sadder. Prior to his death he was performing new material that he eventually hoped to turn into a third full-length album. Clips from various  gigs at The Improv in Ontario, California, recorded in January of 05, were spliced together and the album “Do You Believe In Gosh?” was born. Though not a completed work, the album at least gives a respectable farewell to a man who was more than deserving of the title of comedic genius.

Review:

goshIt should be stated up front that much of the material on this album is rough. Had he not been killed this would have been a very disappointing development, but since tragedy did strike, it actually proves to be quite endearing to hear him on stage doing what he does best with great enthusiasm so close to the time of his death. He even has fun with his unfinished material. After a joke basically deteriorates into nothing he says “I gotta work on that, but trust me, it’s so fucking funny. Go into my head and come back out and tell me I’m wrong.”

Despite the unpolished feel of the show, there are moments of sheer brilliance. Whether it’s his rapid-fire one-liners (highlights include, “I can read minds, but it’s pointless because I’m illiterate,” and “I walked by a record store and the sign out front said they specialized in hard to find records and tapes; nothing was alphabetized!”) or more drawn out material (the best joke of the disc is a story about Lola, a girl without arms who doesn’t know the meaning of can’t) there are several moments on “Gosh” that are  as funny as funny gets.

Also strong as ever is Hedberg’s impeccable delivery. If 99% of the world’s population uttered the phrase “I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is fucking clean,” it wouldn’t even sound like a joke. Yet when those words are uttered by Mitch Hedberg, they are hilarious.

Final Words:

When someone dies of “multiple drug toxicity,” it creates an image of them lying sprawled out in a dark room, completely sheltered from the world waiting for death. It was great to hear that two months before his death, this was not an accurate image of Hedberg. It’s fantastic to hear the enthusiasm he has for performing shine through even as he was about to meet his demise. He even sort of cornily, but endearingly, states at one point on this album, “I try not to smile on stage but it’s fun. Performing’s fun.”

Though he wasn’t exactly a household name (because as he put it, “most of my fans live in apartments”) there is a real timeless quality to Mitch Hedberg that should secure him a devoted following for years to come. I will state, however, if you are new to his material, “Do You Believe In Gosh?” is not the album to start with. Rather, you should first seek out his previous, more well-defined albums “Strategic Grill Locations” and “Mitch All Together.” But if you are an established fan, this album is a very worthy companion to his past work. The only disappointment is that he didn’t survive long enough to finish it.

Pros

  • Funny
  • Infectious
  • A strong testament to Hedberg’s memory

Cons

  • Unpolished
  • The rough edges prove to be a sad testament to his death

Score: 8/10

Material: 8.0/10 (Would have definitely been stronger had he had time to smooth over the rough patches, but still funny.)
Delivery: 9.0/10 (Possessed the ability to make one laugh at almost nothing.)
Originality: 9.0/10 (Hard to pinpoint anyone like him.)
His Death: 0/10 (I can think of no living comic funnier than him and it’s a shame he’s not still around.)

Pringles Restaurant Cravers: Mexican Layered Dip (Food Review)

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Overview:

Everyone loves to dine at the fanciest, highest quality restaurants in town, but not everyone can afford it. So while the ritziest bastards are out having a blast at the local 5-star, you’re at home munching on bologna and cheese with a side of chips. But how jealous would your rich neighbors be if they knew you were able to enjoy the same exquisite flavor as their $26 appetizer in the form of a $1.50 can of potato-based snacks?

That’s the concept behind the newest line of Pringles products: Restaurant Cravers. Take the flavor or exquisite dining appetizers and, somehow, pack it in to a single can for everyone to enjoy. Think Doritos Late Nights, only no where near as good.

Review:

pringles-mexican-layered-dip-restaurant-cravers-super-stackI’ve never been a huge fan of Pringles, save a few flavors like Cheese and Pizza, with the occasional Sour Cream and Onion. They all just taste the same, you know? That and the fact that you can never get the last quarter of the stack of chips out because your hands are too damn big. Stupid can.

Anyway, I had heard some rumblings about how these products were supposed to be a lot like the Doritos Late Night chips, and since I love those with a passion that burns hotter than.. well, something really hot, I figured I’d give these a shot.

I grabbed a can of these while roaming the aisles at the grocery store in which I serve as an indentured servant (employee, slave, hostage, sex toy. Whatever you want to call it, it’s all the same to them) after clocking out for one of my few short breaks throughout the day. I took them upstairs and popped the top, not being able to control my anxiety for what I thought would be another amazing miracle chip.

I raised the cardboard cylinder to my nose, taking in a deep sampling of… cardboard. Damn can ruins everything. Shifting focus from aromatic sensation to flavor pleasure, I popped a couple in my mouth, drenching my shirt in crumbs as I chewed the stack of 5 crisps.

Disappointment.

But don’t get me wrong, these do taste a lot closer to Mexican Dip than you might think, it just takes several handfuls of conformatively-shaped crisps for it to start to hit you. At first you’ll think these are just another Pringles chip, one that tastes like the vast majority of the other flavors. Keep eating and you’ll soon realize your pallet has changed its mind, almost like it has accepted what it is eating. That’s when you start to taste, most notably, the olive with a slight rumbling of what could be backed beans and sour cream in the background.

Satisfaction!

Though it is slight, you’ll appreciate these new Pringles for being unique and having a distinct flavor that, more closely than not, reflects its name. As far as being compared to Late Night Doritos? No, gtfo of my house.

Final Words:

All in all I was pleasantly surprised with the Mexican Layered Dip flavor of Pringle’s Restaurant Cravers series. I feel, however, that they are destined to drown in the vast ocean of other flavors that exists on the Pringles shelf in every convenience store, which is a real shame considering they are a lot better than a lot of the other flavors that are out there. Not to mention they are about 50 cents or so more expensive than the others. No college kid is going to waste booze money on that.

And the stupid cans!

If you’re looking for miracle chips that taste like what they claim to be, stick to your Tacos at Midnight. Those are easily the best potato chips ever.

And to hold you over until we get to take a look at the other flavors, our friends over at The Impulsive Buy reviewed the Onion Blossom flavor.

Pros

  • Tastes a lot like a Layered Dip after you eat a few
  • Pringles are the funnest chips to eat thanks to their mass-produced shape

Cons

  • The taste of black olives is a little overpowering compared to the other flavors that should be present
  • Seriously, Pringles cans can burn in hell.

Score: 7.25/10 (Not bad)

Aroma: 7.0/10 (Smells like cardboard thanks to that damn cylindrical prison the crisps are forced to reside in)
Flavor: 7.75/10 (After a few crisps you’ll start to notice the flavor of olives and some other dip ingredients)
Value: 7.0/10 (More expensive than your standard Pringles, but not absurd)

Weekly Recap for May 4th – 9th

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Here’s a list of this week’s posts with links backs in case you missed anything. Enjoy!

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Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars (Game Review)

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Overview:

System: Nintendo DS (Exclusive)
Developer: Rockstar Leeds
Publisher: Rockstar Games
Genre: Action/Sandbox

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“Grand Theft Auto on the DS!? Psh, yeah right, have fun with that. lolololol”

This is what many “hardcore” gamers are saying about Rockstar’s latest GTA adventure, Chinatown Wars. It’s an all too common belief that an open-world Sandbox game like Grand Theft Auto has no chance of being anything other than a miserable experience on the Nintendo DS, especially when the games turned out lackluster on the PSP, a far more powerful handheld system capable of rendering graphics far superior than Nintendo’s little handheld that could. In the eyes of the masses, there is no way a Grand Theft Auto game could be a rewarding experience on the Nintendo DS.

The masses are sadly mistaken. Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars is leagues above the disappointing PSP efforts, despite the lack of graphical power, and is more than worthy of your time and money. Chinatown Wars is a full-featured GTA adventure that packs the same masterful storytelling and thrilling gameplay you’ve come to expect from the series into a single cartridge, and it manages to throw in several new features than enhance the series as well as put this at the top of the Nintendo DS’s library.

Review:

In GTA: CW players take control of Huang Lee, the rich and spoiled son of a prestigious Triad boss who is mysteriously murdered by a group of unknowns. It is now Lee’s responsibility to deliver his father’s most prized possession, an ancient sword which was won in a paltry card game, to his Uncle in Liberty City. Upon arrival Lee is ambushed, shot, robbed, and dumped into the river. From here the story is pretty straight-forward with a few twists and humps that keep you guessing, but nothing that will blow your mind.

The story itself is pretty solid. Dialogue can range from absolutely hilarious to slightly boring, but there is always a light-hearted feel to it that keeps the game from being too serious, which is always a good thing in GTA games. You’ll meet an exceptionally strange cast of characters that make you feel like Huang is the only semi-normal person in the Triad underground of Liberty City.

The thing that makes Chinatown Wars such an absolute blast is the gameplay. Its controls handle almost exactly like the console counterparts which is astonishing. Rockstar really poured a ton of effort into creating a “real” GTA game on the DS and it shows.

Perhaps the biggest and most addictive element of GTA: Cinatown Wars is the ability to peddle drugs at your own free will. Making money while risking a prison sentence has never been this fun. Running from dealer to dealer to stock up on your stock while selling to other gangs who pay more for your crop can quickly become your main activity in this title. And it’s easy to put the money to use buying up the various safehouses throughout Liberty City since the entire metropolis is unlocked right from the get go.

But managing an entire drug empire on your own would get a little overwhelming without some kind of assistance. That’s where the PDA comes in. It handles absolutely everything. Email, GPS navigation, drug connections, and buying up ammo and arms from the Ammu-Nation are just a few of the services your PDA provides. And its slick interface will make you wish the DS was a real gadget that could do all those things in real life because Rockstar was able to make it function in such an amazing and believable manner.

One more awesome innovation is one that could only be done on the DS–touch screen mini games. You still have mini missions like Rampage and Rescue at your disposal, but now some of the most boring tasks are made fresh and fun since they are now handled through touch screen interactivity. Hot-wiring cars, defusing bombs, filling up Molotov cocktails, and even bashing out the window of a car you accidentally (or purposely) drove off of a ramp into the bay are just a few examples of things that are handled through the touch screen. They aren’t necessary by any means, but they are fun and give the game a bit more personality.

grand-theft-auto-chinatown-wars-graphicsThe only problem with the controls is that the lack of analog input makes moving feel a bit stiff. The D-Pad works fine, but it’ll take a little getting used to before you can maneuver as comfortably as possible. The lack of an analog stick also hinders your ability to drive as accurately as you could, but the game has an awesome feature that automatically aligns your car with the road so you’re not constantly tapping left or right on the d-pad trying to straighten yourself out. Alas this is more of a problem with the DS than it is a problem with the game, so it really is invalid to rating this software, it’s just something you’ll notice.

The game’s visuals are far better than I had ever thought they’d look. Sure, the game is no Dementium, but keep in mind all of the land this game has to cover. Miles and miles and miles more of city, country, and ocean span across the cartridge and are all loaded without slow down or graphical lag without loading screens. This is a fact  that makes the DS rendition of GTA an absolute technical marvel.

The game does revert back to the series’ roots and take on a birds’ eye view of the playfield, and this is a truth that morons criticize about the game. It plays excellent, the top-down view works great, and it looks fantastic. I honestly believe that the only people griping about the game’s top-down perspective or the un-detailed graphics are either Sony fanboys or idiots who haven’t played the game.

Cut-scenes are played out through comic book-like pictures with the occasional motion–a wink of the eye or a nod of the head. I would have much preferred full-motion cut scenes, but we are talking about a DS game here. I keep forgetting that when looking at everything else this game has to offer.

GTA’s audio design has always been one of it’s fine points. The fine crunch of bones under a tire. The random shouting of prostitutes and pimps as you drive by. The sounds of gun shots tearing through a rival gang member’s flesh. Ahh, it’s brilliant.

grand-theft-auto-chinatown-warsChinatown Wars is no exception. Weapons, the engines of cars, the sounds of innocent bodies slamming against the hood of your car, everything is recorded in detail. There are a few sacrifices that had to be made to fit the game onto a DS cartridge, though.

For instance, remember how I told you the cut-scenes were played out through pictures? There is also no voice acting. All dialogue must be read, which is perfectly acceptable for a DS game and I am not whining about it, but it makes some of the more subtle humor in the witty dialogue harder to catch than having the script read by voice actors.

Some other minor complaints include the generic music. I know that Chinatown Wars obviously had no where near the budget of its console-based brethren, but the music in the game is just plain annoying. I always find myself turning the radio off immediately after entering a vehicle.

And one more thing some picky people might notice is that all vehicles have the same horn. Cars, motorcycles, boats. They are all the same.

As far as entertainment value is concerned, GTA has the potential to be an 80+ hour game if you’ll let it. Getting lost in side missions and paying close attention to your drug dealings, local multiplayer, detailed stat tracking, plenty of weapons, miles of city to explore, and this is all on top of the 15-20 hour campaign mode. Easily worth the 30 smacks you’ll lay down for it.

Final Words:

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars is not only good on the DS, it’s as good as any of the console offerings and a far better experience than any GTA games for the PSP. A deep, clever and epic storyline unfolds as you build a drug empire and adventure through a huge city, all while working your way up through the Triad ranks.

GTA: Chinatown Wars is a huge game and I know I left a ton of information out of this review. There is just too much for me to cover. Hell, there is too much for anyone to cover, really. Just take my word for it, if you are the kind of person who loves deep and involving games with addictive gameplay, great stories, and tons of entertainment value then this game is for you. Pick it up and see for yourself how much there is in this game to love.

Pros

  • It’s a real GTA game. On the DS
  • Peddling drugs to buy safe houses
  • The story lasts a minimum of around 2o hours. And that’s before you factor in anything else
  • Local and online Multiplayer modes
  • A technical marvel

Cons

  • Turn the radio off!
  • Cut-scenes would’ve been much better with voice acting

Score: 9.2/10 (Amazing)

Gameplay: 9.75/10 (Amazingly deep. They took the console GTA experience and put it on the DS)
Graphics: 9.0/10 (An absolute marvel. Runs smooth and has no load screens while adventuring)
Audio: 8.25/10 (Annoying and generic music on the radio. But everything else is done great. No voice acting)
Entertainment Value: 9.75/10 (So much to do!)