Category Archives: Random

[Game Review] Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii)

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System: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Retro Studios
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Platformer

The Donkey Kong Country series is, without a doubt, a staple memory for just about anyone who owned a Super Nintendo Entertainment System. The gameplay was rock solid, the music was outstanding, and the graphics were the absolute best you could find on any system. If you were old enough to play Donkey Kong Country when it came out, it probably still stands as one of your top SNES titles.

We’ve been waiting for a follow up to the series for quite a while now, and it is finally here in the form of Donkey Kong Country Returns. Nintendo has been bringing back a ton of old franchises lately, with games like New Super Mario Bros, Kirby’s Epic Yarn, Goldeneye 007, and the upcoming and highly anticipated Kid Icarus game for the 3DS. It’s only fitting that DK should get the same revival, and who better to helm such an important project than Retro Studios, the team that put gamers behind Samus’ visor for the critically acclaimed Metroid Prime trilogy.

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[Game Review] Goldeneye 007 (Wii)

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System: Wii (also on: Nintendo DS)
Developer: Eurocom
Publisher: Activision
Genre: FPS

Fans have been clamoring for it for ages now, and it’s finally here. This game is a remake of the classic Goldeneye 007 video game released on the Nintendo 64 in 1997, and without a doubt revolutionized the FPS genre on home gaming consoles forever. It was that N64 game that would lay the framework for titles like Halo and Call of Duty, paving the road for their success.

And now, in the form of this Wii game by the same name, Goldeneye 007 exists again, modernized and completely rebuilt from the ground up to take advantage of the Wii hardware. Developed by Eurocom, most known to Wii games as the devs who crafted the excellent Dead Space: Extraction, this modernized classic can be one of two things: a cheap cash in, or the real deal. Ladies and gentelemen, I’m here to tell you that not only is this game genuinely great, it may even be the best FPS the Wii has to offer.

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[Unfairly Ridiculed Alternative Lifestyles Review] Sleeping in a Sleeping Bag

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Overview:

For much of my life I have slept in a sleeping bag. Not simply on the rare occasions in which I would actually go camping, but on regular nights when I would sleep indoors. This was never something I did just for the sake of being weird as has been suggested, but because I genuinely believed it to be the most comfortable way to sleep. Believing in this school of thought firmly, I always assumed I would be able to convert my friends, or at the very least, not have them snicker at and mock me for how I chose to live my life.

Of course, I failed to take into consideration that most of the people I would consider to be “good” friends unfortunately are people who seemed to live so far up their own assholes it’s borderline stunning that oxygen was able to reach their lungs. It was enough to make me give up on spreading the word forever.

Well detractors be damned. After trying to abandon the bag for a short period of time, I’ve finally returned to my preferred way of life, and it’s my hope I can not only convince people this will help you achieve the best night’s sleep of your life, but also train them how to properly deal with the walking undead who take their inability to rest out on those of us who are just trying to live an honest life. Continue reading →

[Movie Review] The Social Network (2010)

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David Fincher has a real penchant for telling thoroughly engrossing stories. His filmography reads like a Dean’s List of phenomenal films, stuff ranging from the dark and moody Seven, to the super-charged and testosterone-filled Fight Club, and the cerebral and tension-filled Zodiac, Fincher has repeatedly told stories that feel like events.

The Social Network is no different. In fact, it could perhaps be Fincher’s greatest overall work, as it both captures and transcends the creation of popular megasite Facebook.com (speaking of which, be a fan of our page).

The film is the true story revolving around the creation of the incredibly popular website, and the main character of the film is the infamous Mark Zuckerberg, creator and founder of the famed social networking website. Zuckerberg is played by Jesse Eisenberg (The Squid and the Whale, Zombieland), and we are immediately thrust into a conversation that on the surface could be just like any other disagreement a guy and a girl have had at a bar. Eisenberg’s Zuckerberg comes off as condescending, if not creepily confident in himself and his skills.

The film is a fascinating, at times tremendously engrossing, portrait of a brief period of time in recent history that has made a surprising impact in pop culture worldwide. Fincher lets the tension build and build throughout the movie, and the structure of the film was somewhat surprising to me.

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[Game Review] Alan Wake (Xbox 360)

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System: Xbox 360 (Also on PC)
Developer: Remedy
Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios
Genre: Action Thriller

When Alan Wake was first announced, gamers were ecstatic. It looked to be a unique, refreshing and innovative story-driven game with a fantastic premise, creepy environments, and some very good ideas. Then the game, for whatever reason, failed to find a publisher. Remedy had a decent amount of support and hype behind their game, and I never quite understood why no publisher had scooped up the rights for what was clearly a very promising title. The game fell out of the media’s eye and off of the gamers’ radars, presumably falling into development limbo.

After some amount of time passes without hearing any word on Wake, it explodes back onto the scene with news of finally securing a publisher, and that publisher was Microsoft. Armed with a new partner, Remedy was finally ready to release their game.

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[Imported Toiletries Review] Sainsbury’s Super Soft Moist Toilet Tissue

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Overview:

Back in April of aught nine, I wrote perhaps my most acclaimed review (my mom alleges she showed it to two of her co-workers who upon reading it said I should write for a sitcom) about Cottonelle Fresh, a moist adult wipe so refreshing, it transformed each act of defecation into a cause for celebration.

While my love for said product hasn’t cooled in the 17 months since that review was posted, my interest in sampling similar products to see how they compared never faded. So when my pretend ex-fiance informed me she was paying a visit stateside from her royal palace in London, she brought for me a present which she claimed to be a quality British companion to my beloved Cottonelle Fresh.

The product is Sainsbury’s Super Soft Moist Toilet Tissue. So, after polishing off a Digornio Pizza For One, I was ready to hit the town. Here’s how they stacked up. Continue reading →

Sorry About the Lack of Reviews, I’ve Been Writing an Erotic Horror Short Story

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I trust I am forgiven, considering the circumstances.

For the past few weeks I’ve been hard on work on a couple of things. I just started a new semester of school, and I’m enrolled in 16 credit hours. I am running for mayor of my city, Terre Haute, IN. And I have been writing an erotic horror story.

Oh yeah.

Regardless, I just finished that off today and submitted it to the publishers, so hopefully it makes the cut in the upcoming anthology entitled “Nocturnal Emissions: Things That go Hump in the Night.”

I know, right?

Anyway, things should be getting better and more frequent here soon. This goes for all sites across the Everyview Network.

[Automobile Review] 1994 Nissan Sentra Limited Edition

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Overview:

They say you never forget your first car. Of course, if you end up totaling said car by rolling it in a ditch just 26 days after acquiring your license, forever proving that the D- pass system is a foolish one to implement in Driver’s Ed, it doesn’t leave much time for it to make an impression. When this happens, it’s the second car that becomes memorable.

And I can say with great confidence that car no. 2 (and boy, was it ever), my grey 1994 Nissan Sentra “Limited Edition” was a memory for the ages.

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