[Pointless Review] Revolving Doors

revolving-doorOverview:

I’m feeling the need to break from my normal routine of writing boring reviews in hopes of doing something that could be perceived as interesting. So to do this, I turned to the old trick of drugging myself up in hopes I would be able to formulate some quality scribing in my altered state of mind.

Unfortunately, my lack of money mixed with what could be considered to be a “wussy” lifestyle has limited me in terms of what drugs I had in my possession. The best I could do was to shove Kroger brand “Sleep Aid” down my gullet and let the old idea wheel turn. Here’s hoping I’ve stumbled onto something.

So anyway, let’s talk about revolving doors. Continue reading

[Game Review] The Legend of Zelda (Wii Virtual Console, NES)

NES Legend of ZeldaOverview:

System: Wii Virtual NES
Developer: Nintendo R&D4
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Adventure

Originally released in 1987 on the Nintendo Entertainment System, The Legend of Zelda was a bold new design from the now-legendary Shigeru Miyamoto. The game shipped with a gold cartridge and a revolutionary ability to save a game’s progress via batter power. Sporting a huge overworld to explore, tons of dungeons and bosses to vanquish, and yet another blond princess to rescue, Miyamoto’s new game went on to become one of the most influential titles in the industry.

Since its release, there have been many sequels, spinoffs, character cameo appearances, and even a philosophical book, but there is only one original. This game is where the greatest franchise in video game history was born. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] All City NRG

All CityStraight from the Can:

Going ‘All City” means going all out. All City is a term used to describe New York street artists who have made their mark in all five boroughs. Originating in Brooklyn, AriZona pays tribut to the passion & creativity of these artists with a bold, new, energy-infused beverage for the ‘City that never sleeps.’ Keep moving. All day. All night. All City.

This authentic Limited Edition can has been designed by acclaimed artists, Vincent “Fact One” Ficarra of Mpire, as part of a “Subway Series.” Collect them all.

Is All City the real deal, or is it just a toy? It’s review time!

Continue reading

[Food Review] S’mores Pop-Tarts

smorespoptarOverview:

Nothing beats the simple pleasure of sitting by a fire reading ghost stories, singing campfire songs and making s’mores. The fresh air, open sky, and the threat of being stabbed by a hobo or eaten by a bear are just a few of the exhilarating aspects of spending a night in the wilderness.

If you’re like me, however, you’re far more likely to find yourself sitting by a microwave, looking at porn on your BlackBerry, singing Dolly Parton songs and snacking on these S’mores Pop-Tarts. I’m afraid of bugs, rain, and hobos, so I very much prefer to stay within the confines of the great indoors. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] eFusjon Edge

eFusjonEdgeStraight from the Can:

The all natural, antioxidant, acai berry energy drink with caffeine is finally here. It offers remarkable taste, packs temendous energy, and delivers health and vitality! Whether you’re 18 or 80. Efusjon’s “EDGE”, is a delicious energy drink that gives your body exactly what it needs to thrive throughout the day! We have brought together the energy packed acai berry, many other nutrients, and caffeine to give you just the healthy boost you are looking for.

So start your day with the delicious, nutritious energy your body and taste buds will crave! Cheers!

Continue reading

[Music Review] Arctic Monkeys “Humbug”

Overview:

arctic-monkeys-humbugI’ve very recently fallen in love with a few new bands, and the Arctic Monkeys are one of them. I’d heard of them sparingly until the beginning of this last summer, when I spotted them on the Lollapalooza line-up on the day I was set to attend. As I exposed myself to the myriad of bands set to play that day, a few stuck out above the rest, and the Arctic Monkeys were one of the ones who really seemed to lead the pack.

So I picked up their first two major releases, “Favourite Worst Nightmare” and “Whatever You Say That I Am, That is What I Am Not,” and really started digging their entire catalog of songs. They had a punky, stripped down, in your face British style that was very recognizable and unique. Their lyrics were cheeky and fun, and their music was fresh and had a real smoothness amongst all the abrasive rhythmic punch. Continue reading

[Movie Review] Inglorious Basterds (Theatrical)

Inglorious PosterOverview:

This film is fantastic. I’ve read a few reviews out there that call “Inglorious Basterds” a “mixed bag,” but the people who wrote those reviews are obviously idiots. This is easily one of Tarantino’s greatest works, possibly even surpassing “Pulp Fiction.” Of course this film isn’t for the stuck up snobs out there who aren’t Tarantino fans, but for everyone else, this film is for you. Continue reading

[Movie Review] Sugar (DVD)

Overview:

sugarI’ve desperately been seeking out ways to become more popular with the Everyview public, and after struggling to find success on my own, I sought out the help of my good friend Zac Pritcher for advice. Seeing as how he frequently calls me, usually in the middle of the night, to remind me how he towers over me in readership by a count of 782-to-1, I thought he’d have some good advice.

Well after giving me about a 15 minute lecture about interrupting his study habits (he’s cramming very hard as next week he finally becomes old enough to earn that ever elusive driver’s permit) his advice was for me to “continue doing what I do best,” which I guess is reviewing movies and TV shows no one is familiar with.

Call me a skeptic if you must, but I have my doubts on this one, and am curious if there was perhaps some underlining smarminess I didn’t pick up on. But either way I have no other ideas, so here it is my review of the indie baseball drama Sugar which found its way onto DVD shelves this week. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Black Jack Gunpowder Green Energy Tea

blackjackgunpowdergreenStraight from the Can:

Captain’s Log: 17 July, 1677

What a grand day this 17 of July be. With faithful Grog as lookout, me crew boarded the Grand Madame in the dead of night and by morn more than the night lay dead. The treasure, rare teas from the seven seas with tastes more satisfyin than my last port call. Our plunder, we be warned, does strange things… desires, urges, energy of gunpowder. On taste moves men in ways known only in the depths of the blue. For the Grand Madame and her crew… Twas their last taste…

Continue reading

[Video Game Review] Flipnote Studio (DSiWare)

flipnoteOverview:

The DSiWare Shop has been a pretty dismal place since its launch. There have been a few gems, sure, like Asphalt 4 and Mighty Flip Champs, but for the most part we are just getting bad games, useless apps, and overpriced re-releases of minigames from minigame collections. The selection of available titles is so weak, I’ve begun to question whether anything truly awesome would ever come from the service, or if it was doomed to be a footnote at the bottom of Nintendo’s latest DS upgrade.

Finally, a game has come that makes it crucial for you to buy a DSi, and it isn’t even a game! Flipnote Studio is a free program gamers can download from the DSi Shop channel and create their very own flipbooks. Continue reading to find out why this free program serves as the DSi’s killer app. Continue reading