The Master Debate: “Blank Check” VS “First Kid”

Welcome readers to the first (and hopefully not last) installment of “The Everyview Correspondent Master Debate,” which was previously announced last week. The debated topics this week are two live-action Disney pictures, 1994’s “Blank Check” and 1996’s “First Kid.”

“Blank Check” tells the story of Preston Waters, a lonely kid whose dreams of high finance are fulfilled when a burglar runs over his bike and gives him a blank check to cover the damages. When he discovers Preston wrote the check for a million dollars, the burglar and his associates try to get their money back, only to discover that Preston (and his alias “Mr. Macintosh) isn’t the “blank” slate they had assumed he would be. Arguing on behalf of the film is Andrew Majors.

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“First Kid” is the tale of Sam Simms, a goofy but lovable Secret Service Agent whose dreams of landing a gig in the White House finally come true…when he’s assigned to protect the President’s bratty teenage son Luke. Though initially reluctant of his new assignment, Simms forms an unbreakable bond with young Luke and grows to find that maybe, just maybe, that dream job was right in front of him the all along. Making a case for this film is Clay Cunningham.

At the end there will be a poll where you, the reader, can decide who made the better argument and which is the better film. Results will officially be tallied one week from when the arguments were posted.

So read up, and make your voice heard. And don’t be afraid to get your friends involved as well. Let’s all enjoy the wonders of democracy together.

Blank Check:
Argument by: Andrew Majors

blank_checkBlank Check is a film with no equal.

The story is simple. A kid is given a check in haste that, you guessed it, happens to be blank. The premise is simple. The execution of this story is second to none.

The main character, Preston, shows a trait that is lost in today’s live-action children’s movies: BALLS. He takes this blank check, and he writes it for ONE MILLION DOLLARS. He’s not greedy. He just wants a sum that will both repair his destroyed bicycle, and leave him with about $999,965 dollars in damages. Had he been greedy, he could have hired a lawyer and walked away with at least quintuple that sum!

The movie is just as relevant today as it was in 1994 ( A year in which is was possibly overshadowed by other great films like The Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, and Pulp Fiction), and the real stand-out performance is given by Brian Bonsall as Preston. Older audiences might recognize him from Family Ties, (as the adorable Andy Keaton) He’s a kid and he handles his new found fortune with great maturity, choosing not to blow his money on worthless trinkets, but choosing to invest in his local economy by purchasing a home. Mature beyond his years, that kid. Bonsall delivers the performance of a lifetime,thrusting himself into a role so demanding and so emotionally draining, that even Daniel Day Lewis must have been impressed.

While First Kid can boast an all-star cast that Blank Check can not (Sinbad and Zachary Ty Bryan), Blank Check thrives off of a lesser-known cast, and achieves a sense of realism First Kid just can not. A real standout performance from a successful musician Tone Loc gives the film all the star power it needs. And while we’re at it, give me Tone Loc over Sinbad any day. Loc provides a performance obviously channeled from the greats like Brando and Nicholson, while Mr. Bad obviously is just playing for laughs, making actors like Jimmy Fallon look award-worthy.

I believe Disney really missed the boat by never cashing in, and making this a franchise. A world with three High School Musical’s, and one Blank Check? This isn’t a world I want to live in.

If you like intimate character studies, and love to laugh, Blank Check is a must-see. If you like seeing a young boys bare ass, maybe check out First Kid.

First Kid:
Argument by: Clay Cunningham

The fact this debate needs to exist is silly, but since it does, I will state what we already know: “First Kid” is a vastly superior picture.

first-kidIt’s better because of the acting. Sinbad and Brock Pierce have undeniable chemistry as Sam and Luke, the secret-service agent and President’s son who have no choice but to get along with each other. To see the metamorphosis of their relationship from contempt to friendship is beautiful.

The stand-out performance is by Zachary Ty Bryant. FINALLY freed from the shackles of his Brad Taylor persona, ZTB gets to sink his teeth into the role of Rob, the school bully and knocks it out of the park. His performance will chill you right to the bone.

It’s better because of its prophetic view on race relations. Not only is the main character black, but so is the head of the Secret Service. It was great that in 1996 we got to see a multi-racial comradery in the White House. Would the Obama election have happened without this film? Not saying yes, but definitely not saying no.

Conversely, who’s the primary black character in “Blank Check?” A thief…named Juice. Nice.

It’s better because it’s not ridiculous in its execution. Are you telling me that young Preston could buy a lavish house, a go-cart track, a water slide and a shitload of other marvels and spend a mere $999,675? Can you imagine if everyone were to overspend this drastically? That could create a global economic crisis. Thank God that could never happen in real life, right?

Finally, it comes down to the message these movies leave for their impressionable young viewers. They each have the noble set-up of kids struggling to fit in, and both have an “everything will be ok if you just….” message. Here’s how each movie fills in the blank:

“First Kid”…believe in yourself

“Blank Check”…commit fraud and grand theft

Sure Preston stole from bad people, but so what? That little weasel would have stolen from a children’s charity and not given it a second though. Is it any wonder the movies star Brian Bonsall is currently a fugitive from the law? I don’t think so.

I’m not saying my opponent is a crumbum. His taste in movies says more than words ever could. If you like viable social behavior, or just better filmmaking, make the right choice. Vote “First Kid.”

Polls are close, sorry but you missed out. Check out the results here.

Movie News: Star Trek Put to the Scientific Test

Phil Plait, a self-proclaimed Trekkie and creator of the popular Discover Magazine blog Bad Astronomy, has recently analyzed several different scenes from Star Trek. Several events are debunked as false statements pressed forward by the Hollywood startrekpostermachine, which might just break your geeky heart if you believe everything in the Star Trek universe is fact, but it’s an absolutely great and entertaining read and I highly recommend you all check it out. Find it here.

And as a quick side note, I watched the film the other night and was absolutely blown away. I haven’t decided if I should review the theatrical release or wait until the Blu Ray release, so maybe you guys can make up my mind. Let me know in the comments section.

“Let The Right One In” Film Review

ltroi3Overview:

I generally am not someone who enjoys watching horror movies. In fact, I would say it’s my least favorite movie genre. I do however like to appear smarter than I actually am by flaunting my appreciation of critically acclaimed films. So when I saw Rotten Tomatoes had a whopping 98% rating for the Swedish vampire flick “Let The Right One In,” I felt obliged to check it out. Not only was it bursting with acclaim, but it was also foreign, thus doubling my chances of looking like a film scholar. Well, luckily for me and my pursuits of fraudulent intellectualism, the film is very deserving of its critical praise.

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This Is Why You Should Be Watching “Breaking Bad.”

About a month-and-a-half back, I reviewed the DVD “Breaking Bad: The Complete First Season” and praised it as the best and most original new show on television. Well, it turns out  Season One was only the launching point, as Season Two, which airs on the AMC network at 10 on Sundays, is taking the  insanity of the first go-around and pushing to even further degrees of twisted brilliance.

To enhance my argument, I have included a YouTube clip from the show’s most recent episode. When watching it, you will likely either share in the awe I felt while watching, or feel I am some sort of sadist who made you watch one of the most unpleasantly demented things you have ever seen. Regardless, I guarantee that you have never seen anything like this before, and if it helps get more people into the show, fantastic. Enjoy.

Review: Jim Gaffigan’s “King Baby”

jimgaffigankingbabyOverview:

After weeks of having to suffer through the standard “Long Wait” crap Netflix puts you through for new releases, I finally received my copy of “King Baby,” the latest DVD special from ultra-pale comedy star Jim Gaffigan.  Was it worth the wait? Yeah, for the most part I would say it was. But I do plan to elaborate so if you are interested in learning more, then by all means do continue reading.

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PackRat Paragraphs: Tekken: The Motion Picture (Factory Sealed VHS)

tekkenthemotionpictureEveryone with even a passing knowledge of fighting games knows Tekken. It has been one of the best fighting game franchises since the original PlayStation. But did you know that there was also an animated motion picture based off of the games?

Probably not. It was released in 1997 to drab reviews and pathetic sales and shortly after released on DVD, but that format also failed to garner decent sales due to the fact that the movie supposedly blows. I’ve never seen it and will never watch this copy, but if I ever find a DVD in a yard sale anywhere I’ll be sure to watch it and let you guys know how bad it really is.

I’ve found open copies going for as high as about 20 bucks on ebay, and factory sealed items are always worth more. I figure it’s worth about 40 bucks to a casual collector, which is a good chunk of profit over the $5.99 I spent on it.

Review: “Breaking Bad: The Complete First Season”

breaking-badOpening Remark:

The best (though in the interest of fairness, the only) new dramatic series I came across last year has arrived on DVD with the release of “Breaking Bad: The Complete First Season.”

Overview:

Walter White (Bryan Cranston) is a brilliant mind in the field of chemistry, whose accomplishments include contributing research to a Nobel Prize winning project. However, he has since fallen into a life of complacency, teaching chemistry at the high school level and with each passing year is growing more and more apathetic towards his career. Then Walter finds out devastating news. He has terminal lung cancer and is given two years to live. Not wanting to leave his pregnant wife and special needs son burdened with financial implosion, Walt finds an insane solution; he decides to start cooking crystal meth with a burnout former student of his named Jesse (Aaron Paul).

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Review: Sex Drive (2008)

Overview:

SexDriveA lot of people haven’t heard of Sex Drive for some reason, so I’m gonna go ahead and give a brief, informative introduction. Sex Drive is hilarious. That about sums it up, really. However, for the sake of taking up space and making my review look longer and smarter than it really is, I’m going to tell you a little more about it.

There are boobs, Amish boobs, sex jokes, sex, donuts, and a brief appearance by Fallout Boy. As you can tell from everything but the Fallout Boy appearance, which surprisingly doesn’t ruin the movie (I hate Fallout Boy), this move is awesome. Sure the whole road trip thing may be a little worn out, but it’s been a while since a road trip movie has been executed well and it’s honestly pretty refreshing to see one.

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Web Review: Eyeonspringfield

the-simpsons-bannerOverview:

Remember the wondrous time in the mid-90’s when “The Simpsons” almost single-handedly made life worth living? When it was so side-splittingly and effortlessly funny that it not only proved to be one of the great treasures in the history of entertainment, but the history of the world? Before it stayed on so long that it just became a bastardized and, at times even a depressing shell of its former self? Well, whether you do or not, you should. And if you do, there is a glorious website that celebrates the heyday of what once was the greatest accomplishment in the history of television.

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