Warning: You are about to become uncomfortably energetic as this video is only for people who require gratuitous amounts of energy.
Check out the Powerthirst store at Picnicface. No actual Shocklate or Rawberry energy drinks, but some amazing shirts and a headband. But who needs head bands? Probably Kenyans. They run fast.
Overview:
Monster Assault has been on store shelves for about as long as the original green drug has been available to consumers, and has almost as many dedicated addicts, or fans, as does it’s parent drink. If you like original Monster, you will most likely also enjoy Assault, as it modifies the distinct Monster Energy taste by adding what seems to be ginger. Maybe. I’m really not sure what it is, but it’s good to say the least.
Straight from the can: “At Monster we don’t get too hung up on politics. We’re not for “the War”, against “the War”, or any war for that matter.
We put the “camo” pattern on our new Monster Assault can because we think it looks cool. Plus it helps fire us up to fight the big multi-national companies who dominate the beverage business.
We’ll leave the politics to the politicians and keep doing what we do best — making the meanest energy supplements on the planet.
Declare war on the ordinary! Grab a Monster Assault and VIVA LA REVOLUTION!”
Wow, whoever wrote that obviously has an extreme case of A.D.D. I mean, they were all over the place. That, and they’re a liar. They aren’t for the war but they want to fight so they tell us to declare war. Or something. I quit paying attention pretty quick. I have an attention problem anyway. Does anyone have a bike?
I was looking around the web for information to use in the Monster Khaos review I recently posted and I came across something called the Monster Army. At first I wasn’t interested in joining, since I already had enough resources to write the review, but I was enticed with offers of free Monster gear. I decided I like free stuff, so I signed up.
Join the Monster Army
The Monster Army offers chances for sponsorship for local and undiscovered extreme sports athletes. I’m gonna see if I can get sponsored as being an extreme bloggist. If it works out, which I doubt it will, I’ll give some loyal readers some free stuff.
Overview:
Monster Khaos is a very, very unique product. It uses a creative energy blend that is so scientifically advanced that it has the ability to defy mathematical laws that have stood in effect for a very long time. How? The Khaos formula is somehow able to incorporate an amazing ratio of 50% Juice and 100% Monster. Many would tell you that is theoretically impossible, but the folks at the Monster lab would spit pure energy on their face and then kick them in the chest for being such nerds.
Straight from the can: “It’s alive… Monster Khaos, an insane Juice-Monster hybrid bubbling with the great Monster taste and the big bad buzz you know and love.”
Overview:
If you are the kind of person that prefers your Monster to bite back
then you are going to want to grab yourself a Big Black one. Grab it
tight and hold onto it with pride. Note how hard it is to wrap your
hand around this 15 oz behemoth. Can you handle it? Take a risk. Walk
up to the cashier and whip out your Big Black beauty. Tell him you
want it more than you’ve ever wanted anything. In exchange for your
$2.49 he will let you tear into this bitter-sweet supplement. Do it
slowly, try not to shake. Slowly lift the Big Black Monster to your
lips and take it all in. Don’t swallow yet. Savor it. Mmm.
Overview: Amp energy drink has recently released a handful of new flavors to the bustling market of highly caffeinated beverages. The one I am reviewing, Revive, is flavored with a “Burst of Orange Citrus” as well as a reasonable dosage of Electrolytes and B Vitamins to get your body and mind going in the morning.
From the can: “Revive and Hydrate with a burst of Orange citrus and an intense surge of energy to get up and get moving again. Tackle whatever life brings with the power of Amp Energy and a specially formulated energizing combination of electrolytes and B vitamins to jump start your body and mind.”
Intro:
Ahh, tea! I don’t really like tea. But when I was looking for something to review, I thought the bottle looked very sophisticated, and I love sophistication. So bought it, took a picture and now I’m going to review it! I’ve only had 2 drinks so far, so bare with me.
Gold Peak Tea comes in various flavors. 3rd drink. I’m reviewing the Sweetened flavor because I thought it was the safest bet. Remember what happened last time I took a risk and picked something based on it’s bottle? Yeah, the Root Beer Float thing. Never again.
Review:
4th drink. Anyway, It’s not bad. In fact it’s pretty good, even though I’m not a huge fan of tea. But I’m just rambling. It comes in a 16.9 fl. oz. bottle at only $1.39. That’s pretty cheap, I think. I’m not sure, because I don’t buy tea that often since I don’t drink it that often. 5th drink. Anyway, tea is supposed to be healthier for you, so I got it. 6th drink. It’s also kinda late and I have class tomorrow morning, so I didn’t want to get an energy drink. 7th drink.
I was doing some random searches today and I came across a YouTube upload of CNN’s Betty Nguyen, better known as “that hott Asian lady on the news”, hosting an interview with James Kirby, the inventor of extremely controversial Cocaine energy drink. First off, he gets mad props for having the BAWLS (energy drink pun, sorry) to go on a network like CNN knowing his product is just going to get bashed to hell. Oh well, I guess all he wants is exposure for the drink. So far so good! But it really is somewhat interesting to watch him defend himself against her conservative attacks and generalizations and end up holding his own very well.
I thought the video was somewhat entertaining, so here’s an embed for you guys.
Mean Bean Java Monster
Not too long ago I reviewed the Mega size of my long-time favorite drink, Monster Energy. The Mega Monster energy supplement scored a 9.0/10 overall giving it (at the time of this writing) the highest review score on this site. Well Monster recently released a line of coffee based drinks called Java Monster to compete directly with Starbucks Frappuccinos.
How does the Java Monster compete with the current king of cold coffees? Let’s find out.
Overview:
Directly from the can:
“It’s time to get out of line and step up to what’s next.
Java Monster, premium coffee and cream, brewed up with killer flavor, supercharged with monster energy-blend.
Coffee done the right way, wide open, with a take no prisoners attitude and the experience and know how to back it up.
Java Monster… half the caffeine of regular coffee, Twice the Buzz!”
Root Beer? Ice Cream? Delicious, right? I agree. In fact, I love root beer floats so much that I would have never thought I would find one I didn’t enjoy. Well, that was 12 minutes ago and this is now.
Overview:
The A&W Float is a product that attempts to capture the magic of one of humanity’s most ingenious inventions, the Root Beer Float and fits it in a nifty looking glass bottle with an amusing vintage design. Upon further examination of the bottle you would find that this concoction of soda and cream contains very low amounts of sodium. That’s good!
And if you continue to read the bottle you will see statements like: Rich, Creamy, and so Delicious you won’t believe that it comes in a bottle. The latter part of that statement is completely and 100% true! You would never expect this to come in a bottle. You would, however, expect it to come in a tank of some sort. Most likely a septic tank.