Category Archives: Food & Drink

[Food Review] Kellogg’s Keebler Cookie Crunch Cereal

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keeblercookiecrunchOverview:

Elves are like midgets. Happy, giddy little midgets that prance around in pointy clogs giving away the most awesome of things. Presents, cookies, kicks in the shin, nothing is better than a miniature person that gives you free things. And they obviously make great slaves, too, as the fully-grown people over at Kellogg’s marched their long legs over to the Keebler HQ and used their intimidating height to bully the dwarfed little elves into making a cookie-themed cereal to be marketed to obese American children all across the country.

And I’m sure the fat little bastards are eating this crap up.

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[Giveaway] Spot On Energy Patches

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spoton12pkHey guys, we’ve got a new new contest thanks to the folks over at Spot On Energy! Five lucky winners are going to get 12 packs of Spot On Energy Patches, a $33 value, sent straight to their doors for free! And of course you’ve got to have some sweet swag to match your patch, so winners will also get a Spot On t-shirt!

Winning is easy, anyone can enter, and all it takes is a simple comment detailing why you want to try Spot On Energy Patches.

Check out the complete list of rules after the jump. Continue reading →

[Candy Review] Black Jack Chewing Gum

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blackjackgumOverview:

Chewing gum is great for many things. It’s perfect for stepping in, it can be used as a decoration for the overly plain bottoms of desks and tables, it can provide the motivation for a much-needed haircut, and it does a great job of hiding an alcoholic’s liquor breath.

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[Energy Review] Crave Energy Drink Mix

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CraveOverview:

I have had only two experiences with energy powders prior to Crave, both of which were very bad. The first time I encountered an energy mix was not my choice, as former contributor Tate Molnar decided to ruin all of our drinking water by adding some disgusting mix to it while we were camping. The second time I decided to snort it, which is just plain stupid.

But because of these two experiences, I have refused to go anywhere near any kind of energy mix for quite some time. Finally over my ludicrous fear of powdered energy, I’ve decided to give these little packets another shot, this time in the form of Crave Energy Drink.

It’s review time.

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[Energy Drink Review] All City NRG

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All CityStraight from the Can:

Going ‘All City” means going all out. All City is a term used to describe New York street artists who have made their mark in all five boroughs. Originating in Brooklyn, AriZona pays tribut to the passion & creativity of these artists with a bold, new, energy-infused beverage for the ‘City that never sleeps.’ Keep moving. All day. All night. All City.

This authentic Limited Edition can has been designed by acclaimed artists, Vincent “Fact One” Ficarra of Mpire, as part of a “Subway Series.” Collect them all.

Is All City the real deal, or is it just a toy? It’s review time!

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[Food Review] S’mores Pop-Tarts

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smorespoptarOverview:

Nothing beats the simple pleasure of sitting by a fire reading ghost stories, singing campfire songs and making s’mores. The fresh air, open sky, and the threat of being stabbed by a hobo or eaten by a bear are just a few of the exhilarating aspects of spending a night in the wilderness.

If you’re like me, however, you’re far more likely to find yourself sitting by a microwave, looking at porn on your BlackBerry, singing Dolly Parton songs and snacking on these S’mores Pop-Tarts. I’m afraid of bugs, rain, and hobos, so I very much prefer to stay within the confines of the great indoors. Continue reading →

[Energy Drink Review] eFusjon Edge

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eFusjonEdgeStraight from the Can:

The all natural, antioxidant, acai berry energy drink with caffeine is finally here. It offers remarkable taste, packs temendous energy, and delivers health and vitality! Whether you’re 18 or 80. Efusjon’s “EDGE”, is a delicious energy drink that gives your body exactly what it needs to thrive throughout the day! We have brought together the energy packed acai berry, many other nutrients, and caffeine to give you just the healthy boost you are looking for.

So start your day with the delicious, nutritious energy your body and taste buds will crave! Cheers!

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[Energy Drink Review] Black Jack Gunpowder Green Energy Tea

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blackjackgunpowdergreenStraight from the Can:

Captain’s Log: 17 July, 1677

What a grand day this 17 of July be. With faithful Grog as lookout, me crew boarded the Grand Madame in the dead of night and by morn more than the night lay dead. The treasure, rare teas from the seven seas with tastes more satisfyin than my last port call. Our plunder, we be warned, does strange things… desires, urges, energy of gunpowder. On taste moves men in ways known only in the depths of the blue. For the Grand Madame and her crew… Twas their last taste…

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[Food News] Baconlube: A Bacon-Flavored Personal Lubricant

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baconlubeThis is not a joke.

The people over at J&D’s have a firm-standing belief that everything should taste like bacon. Everything. They’ve already made porky products such as Bacon Salt (our review), a bacon-flavored mayonnaise called Baconnaise, and a Bacon Lip Balm that shimmers with all of the vibrancy of artery-clogging pig grease.

But that isn’t enough, not by a long shot. Now J&D’s is taking bacon into the bedroom with this super slippery personal lubricant, giving a whole new meaning to the word “porking.”

It’s not yet for sale, but bacon enthusiasts looking to get their bacon strip extra crispy can head on over to the J&D website and sign up for beta testing.

[Food Review] Hardee’s Fried Bologna Biscuit

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bologna biscuitOverview:

A few days ago our good friends over at GrubGrade told the hungry world about the new Fried Bologna Biscuit from Hardee’s. Needless to say, eaters who were expecting a new sandwich similar to the Big Carl from Carl’s Jr, Hardee’s sister establishment, were quite disappointed. Average Southerners or poor Northerners (yo), however, will find instant appeal in the new breakfast biscuit.

Will Hardee’s newest morning menu item turn bologna into the new ham? There’s only one way to find out. It’s review time! Continue reading →