[Energy Drink Review] Sol Mate (Original)

Sol Mate is one of the most basic energy drinks I’ve ever consumed. It ditches the high levels of chemical enhancers and instead utilizes with a bare bones, all natural, organic formula composed almost entirely of sparkling Yerba Mate. For those of you (myself included) who have no idea, Yerba Mate is a cleansing herb native to Spain and is said to have a myriad of health benefits, and is very commonly used as an ingredient in modern energy drinks.

How does the drink’s slogan, “Just Energy, No Jitters” hold up? It’s review time!

Continue reading

[Food Review] Viennetta Frozen Dairy Dessert Cake (Vanilla)

Luxurious.

That’s the word that first crossed my mind when I spotted the box for Viennetta Frozen Dairy Dessert Cake sitting in the frozen aisle at the grocery at which I’m humbly employed. If I properly recall, it was about 8:00 in the morning, time for the first break of my 6AM to 2:30PM shift, and nothing sounded better for breakfast than this gorgeous looking ice cream cake.

I know what you’re thinking. “Hey fatty, ice cream cake isn’t cereal!” Shut your mouth, yes it is.

Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Slurm

Futurama is one of my favorite shows of all time, and it is easily one of the best television programs to hit the tube in recent years. The character, setting, concept, and execution all put this show far above most others during its much too short four season lifetime, after which it was criminally canceled by the selfish assholes at Fox. I’ll never forgive them.

In the television show, Slurm is the greatest canned beverage of the year 3000. Seemingly perfect in every way, there isn’t a single person who dislikes it. That is, of course, until it is discovered that Slurm consists purely and entirely of a giant worm’s anus discharge. Even after this discovery, main character Fry simply cannot get enough of the delightful green liquid. It’s that good.

I don’t know what kind of worm’s ass they are sucking this real life Slurm out of, but it tastes just how I’d expect a worm’s anus slime to taste. Continue reading

[Food Review] Hardee’s Monster Biscuit

hardees-monster-biscuitThe food world is full of choices. White or wheat, rare or well-done, medium or large, regular fries or curly, single or double, hash browns or home fries, etc. The list goes on for what seems like forever and, quite frankly, it is overwhelming! But of all of the panic and pressure caused by any choice I’ve ever had to make at a restaurant, nothing has been as difficult to overcome as “ham, sausage, or bacon?”

Hardee’s understands me. They know me. They get who I am. They understand that making such a decision borders on impossible for some people, and they have a solution. The Monster Biscuit: ham, sausage, egg, and bacon all shoved into a single breakfast sandwich. Hallelujah. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Slap Juicy: Tropical Energy + Juice

slap juicy tropicalI’ve been digging through my fridge a lot lately in an attempt to satisfy my urge for energy without emptying my wallet. This morning I woke up to get started on my seven hours worth of homework which I had 6 hours to complete, blindly stuck my hand in my mini fridge, and pulled out a green can of Slap Juicy: Tropical.

I love saying Slap Juicy.

Slap Juicy, slap juicy, slap juicy. Haha. It sounds more like a sloppy sex position than an energy drink. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Ace Lo-Cal

ace_lo cal

The thing about Ace Lo-Cal that initially caught my eye was the horrible can. Ridden with bullet holes, World War II plane decorations, playing cards, and a pinup model from somewhere in 1922 riding a bomb, this is one of the most awful cans I’ve ever seen.

But it’s also completely bad ass! Seriously, there’s a cowgirl riding a bomb.

Straight from the can:

It’s a dog fight out there! To win, you need to stay sharp.

Crack open an Ace Energy for an immediate physical and mental lift. Ace will get you flying high and keep you in control.

Throw down an ace!

Man, this is going to be terrible! Continue reading

[Food Review] Bob Evans Sausage, Egg and Cheese Microwavable Homestyle Breakfast Burritos

bobevansmicrowaveburritoBreakfast Burritos have been my favorite morning meal for as long as I can remember. There is just something comforting about having all of the essential breakfast foods wrapped into a soft tortilla shell.

While I definitely prefer making my own, due to the creative and artistic freedom presented by the nature of the burrito, there are times when I just don’t feel like putting the effort into making one, nor do I possess the initiative required to drive to Sonic or Hardee’s. That’s why I recently picked up these microwavable Sausage, Egg and Cheese burritos from Bob Evans. Continue reading

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey guys, I hope everyone has been having a spectacular Thanksgiving day. I am beyond stuffed, as is the case with every year. I ate way too much, vomited, had desert, vomited, vomited, had another plate of food, and vomited again. And I don’t regret it a single bit.

turkey

Get back to your families and friends, Everyviewers, and enjoy the rest of your holiday!

[Energy News] Mini Chill Giveaway at Minichill.com!

A while back I reviewed an anti-energy shot called Mini Chill, a product that helped you cool off, focus, and relax instead of hyping you up with energy. It was very effective and I enjoyed it so much that I awarded it a near-perfect 9.0/10. It’s a truly spectacular little drink and I highly recommend it to everyone.

I know what you’re thinking. “Oi, I’m Zac Pritcher and I’m so busy eating cereal that I don’t realize some people aren’t well-funded enough to purchase such products! Herp Derp!” Am I right?

Well then, this is your lucky day. The folks over at Minichill.com are hosting a contest in which you will have the chance to win a not only an entire case of Mini Chill, but also a $50 gift card for you to spend on whatever you want! For a full list of rules, head on over to Minichill.com.

[Food Review] Five Guys Burgers and Fries

It can be hard to find a good burger. I don’t mean a tasty burger. I don’t mean a cheap burger. I mean a delicious, juicy, fully satisfying burger topped with plenty of crisp veggies and stuffed between a flavorful bun. Burgers like that are hard to come by. Unless, of course, you live anywhere near a Five Guys restaurant.

I had originally heard about Five Guys from a post on Grub Grade and my mind was clouded with nothing but thoughts of the delicious-looking burgers ever since. I had finally gotten my chance to satisfy my insane hunger for Five Guys during a trip to Cincinnati to see Marcy Playground. In all honesty, words can hardly describe how delicious the meal was, so I’ve included a few pictures to help me out a little. Continue reading