Unbound’s logo reminds me of Unreal Tournament, a sweet video game that I really dig. It was because of this similarity that I decided I would probably also like Unbound Energy drink. I know, it seems silly, but when you’ve had as many rancid energy drinks as I have, it’s important to carefully choose your drinks to try to avoid drinking something akin to a cold can of moose piss. Here’s hoping.
Read the full review at CaffeineCritic.com
I always get super excited when Taco Bell comes out with a new menu item. Ever since they revealed my now-favorite Volcano Taco, I’ve found myself to be like a fat, zitty 20-year-old kid with an intense inability to control his anticipation for greasy new Taco Bell menu items with stupid names, made up or otherwise. Oh wait…
Taco Bell’s new Tortadas are just that — a new Taco Bell menu item with a stupid name. Believe it or not, though, the word Tortada isn’t simply the result of a corporate brainstorm where a bunch of old white guys try to combine names of Spanish food items to fit their needs (enchirito = enchilada + burrito). Perhaps even more stupid than that is the fact that tortada means “cake,” and Taco Bell’s Tortada is not a cake. It is a bunch of recycled ingredients wrapped up with a tortilla, grilled, and shoved inside of a Quesadilla wrapper.
Wanna know something else about Taco Bell’s Salsa Roja Tortada? It sucks. Continue reading
Overview:
You wanna know something about writing three Mountain Dew reviews in the span of 12 hours? It’s actually a million times more tedious than it sounds. But with this, I’m finally done, so here’s my review of Whiteout.
Review:
To me, Whiteout, which is being called a “smooth citrus Dew,” looked like the least appetizing of all the new flavors. When I saw the bottle, it looked to me like someone just bottled up water that had recently absorbed about two dozen antacid tablets. However, a quick glace at the official Dewmocracy website shows it to be out in front of the other two flavors, including an early lead in my beloved home state of Indiana. So with such a solid word-of-mouth, I was a bit more eager to try it out.
Sadly, I quickly realized I should have maintained my skepticism, as this actually turned out to be my least favorite of the new flavors, and arguably the least appealing Mountain Dew creation I have ever come across. I didn’t struggle to finish it, but I was hardly jonesing to purchase myself a second bottle when I did finish. Continue reading
Overview:
When one promises to do a series of reviews, they should probably take into consideration if anyone actually cares enough about the topic to merit additional posts.
Oh well, I promised to review all three new Mountain Dew Flavors, and seeing as how I’m contractually obligated to do so, here’s my take on Distortion.
Review:
Of all the new Dew flavors competing to find a permanent spot on store shelves nationwide, Distortion, a “lime blasted Dew,” seemingly has the biggest obstacle to overcome. Both the drink and the bottle look almost identical to the company’s trademark regular flavor, making it almost impossible for a casual shopper to differentiate it from a bottle of regular Mountain Dew. Ultimately, this would just lead to customer disappointment, as regular Mountain Dew is quite a bit better.
Even more perplexing about the bottle is that it was the result of a fan design contest. Apparently the best anyone could do with a lime flavored mountain dew is a regular Mountain Dew bottle without the sketches of mountains. So congratulations Ben Stone, you’ve accomplished the equivalent of winning an art contest by painting American Gothic sans the pitchfork. Continue reading
Overview:
I’ve been a fan of Mountain Dew since I was a kid. I’ve continued to like it into my young adulthood, despite reports that it’s a “white trash” beverage, which greatly contradicts the very sophisticated lifestyle I live. I’ve even grown fond of product offshoots like “Code Red” and “Livewire.”
So when I heard the company was introducing three new flavors, called “Typhoon,” “Distortion” and “Whiteout,” in a promotion entitled Dewmocracy, where consumers get to decide which one becomes a permanent fixture in the Mountain Dew catalog, it’s safe to say I reached an excitement level that could be described as moderate to semi-moderate. And as it happens every time one of us here at Everyview discovers a new product, we feel a great sense of self-importance and get the idea we’re actually worthy enough to decide whether or not the public should be interested.
So with that said, I’ve decided to make my opinions heard on which one is most deserving of a slot in convenient store coolers. I’ll begin with Typhoon. Continue reading
I have stated before that the original, uncut Cocaine Energy Drink easily ranks as my second favorite energy drink of all time, ranking just below Monster, for several reasons. Not only does it provide a substantial kick that few drinks can rival, but it also has one of the most unique and memorable flavors I’ve ever experienced from any energy drink.
Cocaine Mild is essentially the exact same thing as the original Hot & Spicy flavor, sans the hot and spicy attributes that give your throat that trademark burning sensation. While that unexpected amount of heat is a turn off to some, I find it one of my favorite things about the drink. Without that comforting warmth tearing away at the tissue of my throat, does Mild Cocaine still impress me as much as its parent drink?
Read the full review at CaffeineCritic.com
That’s right, boys and girls, Everyview.com has been unknowingly pregnant for 8 months (the baby’s a bit premature, and it’s got a gnarled hand and an exposed spine) and the fruits of our awesome genitals have just spat out a sweet new website!
CaffeineCritic.com is going to be the new home of all of the energy drink and caffeine-related posts that would normally go up on this site, but now they get to run free in a vast meadow, chasing chickens and whatever else cramped reviews do when they get more room to play. There will still be links to those reviews posted here, though, so you guys can know whenever a new review goes up.
Straight from the Can:
ROCKSTAR RECOVERY is designed for those who need a strong energy boost when it counts – plus maximum recovery and hydration. B-vitamins, caffeine, electrolytes, and ROCKSTAR’s potent herbal blend are formulated to deliver that extra kick. Fully refreshing lemonade flavor made with real lemon juice, RECOVERY is smooth, powerful and easy to drink.
I generally don’t enjoy RockStar products. They are usually salty, sour, bitter messes that perform well below the standard set forth by energy drinks such as Monster. Still, when I saw Recovery’s brilliant yellow can with a flat black top and red tab, I knew I had to spend my hard-earned money on the drink so I could waste my valuable time writing a review for you guys to ignore. It’s totally worth it in the end.
I have been without a paycheck for going on too long now. Thus, my culinary options have dwindled from mediocre to abysmal, yet through no fault of my nearly flawless genetics I have retained my stunning physique. Now, for someone of my athletic build (I have been called my time’s athletic Adrien Brody by many folks) Rally’s might seem like the last place I would be found. Not so, as with the implementation of their $1 Unbelieva-Burgers, I felt compelled to swing through their two drive-thru’d restaurant twice in the last week. And since my beloved Editor-In-Chief Zac Pritcher already handled describing the Bacon Cheddar Crisp, it is my duty to tell you everything you need to know about the Chili Cheeseburger. Continue reading
Straight from the can:
The all natural antioxidant/energy drink you have been looking for is finally here. It offers remarkable taste, packs tremendous energy and delivers health and vitality! Whether you’re 18 or 80, Efusjon’s “Raw”, is a delicious energy drink that gives your body exactly what it needs to thrive throughout the day! The rich, smooth flavor of Efusjon’s “Raw”, is a taste that you can enjoy anytime – completely guild-free.
So start your day with the delicious, nutritious energy your body and taste buds will crave! Cheers! Continue reading
