[Energy Drink Review] Slurm

Futurama is one of my favorite shows of all time, and it is easily one of the best television programs to hit the tube in recent years. The character, setting, concept, and execution all put this show far above most others during its much too short four season lifetime, after which it was criminally canceled by the selfish assholes at Fox. I’ll never forgive them.

In the television show, Slurm is the greatest canned beverage of the year 3000. Seemingly perfect in every way, there isn’t a single person who dislikes it. That is, of course, until it is discovered that Slurm consists purely and entirely of a giant worm’s anus discharge. Even after this discovery, main character Fry simply cannot get enough of the delightful green liquid. It’s that good.

I don’t know what kind of worm’s ass they are sucking this real life Slurm out of, but it tastes just how I’d expect a worm’s anus slime to taste. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Slap Juicy: Tropical Energy + Juice

slap juicy tropicalI’ve been digging through my fridge a lot lately in an attempt to satisfy my urge for energy without emptying my wallet. This morning I woke up to get started on my seven hours worth of homework which I had 6 hours to complete, blindly stuck my hand in my mini fridge, and pulled out a green can of Slap Juicy: Tropical.

I love saying Slap Juicy.

Slap Juicy, slap juicy, slap juicy. Haha. It sounds more like a sloppy sex position than an energy drink. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Ace Lo-Cal

ace_lo cal

The thing about Ace Lo-Cal that initially caught my eye was the horrible can. Ridden with bullet holes, World War II plane decorations, playing cards, and a pinup model from somewhere in 1922 riding a bomb, this is one of the most awful cans I’ve ever seen.

But it’s also completely bad ass! Seriously, there’s a cowgirl riding a bomb.

Straight from the can:

It’s a dog fight out there! To win, you need to stay sharp.

Crack open an Ace Energy for an immediate physical and mental lift. Ace will get you flying high and keep you in control.

Throw down an ace!

Man, this is going to be terrible! Continue reading

[Energy News] Mini Chill Giveaway at Minichill.com!

A while back I reviewed an anti-energy shot called Mini Chill, a product that helped you cool off, focus, and relax instead of hyping you up with energy. It was very effective and I enjoyed it so much that I awarded it a near-perfect 9.0/10. It’s a truly spectacular little drink and I highly recommend it to everyone.

I know what you’re thinking. “Oi, I’m Zac Pritcher and I’m so busy eating cereal that I don’t realize some people aren’t well-funded enough to purchase such products! Herp Derp!” Am I right?

Well then, this is your lucky day. The folks over at Minichill.com are hosting a contest in which you will have the chance to win a not only an entire case of Mini Chill, but also a $50 gift card for you to spend on whatever you want! For a full list of rules, head on over to Minichill.com.

[Energy Drink Review] Blood Energy Potion

Blood Energy Potion is a new energy shot from Mana, the people behind both the Mana Energy Potion and Health Energy Potion, two products which have established themselves as fantastically effective energy shots despite their seemingly “novelty” vibe. Plus they look like something straight out of a video game, and that’s something I can totally dig. But Blood has a completely different theme than its predecessors, ditching the WoW crowd and attempting to capitalize on a whole new breed of human beings. The Vampire fans.

I hate vampires. There’s just nothing about them that appeals to me, and as far as I’m concerned they are the lamest creatures of supernatural lore this side of Frankenstein’s Monster. Maybe it’s just because I’m not a 13 year old girl enfatuated with the series of horrible Twilight books and movies, who knows? Most likely it’s because I’m a zombie guy, and I always have been. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Venom Energy: Killer Taipan

venomkillertaipanIt’s been a while since I’ve had any drinks from the Venom Energy lineup of drinks, so today I decided to pick up a can of Killer Taipan, a mango flavored supplement from Venom. I’ve known about this drink’s existence for a fairly long time, since some time during the spring college semester of 2009, and have actually had it a few times before.

Straight from the can:

When you want cold-blooded clarity and the quick energy to strike when the time is right, you need the potent Venom of the Killer Taipan, delivered in mesmerizing Mango.

The Venom Potency Pack has a powerful does of taurine, glucuronolactone, L-carnitine and guarana, giving it piercing energy that strikes back.

Continue reading

Starbucks Doubleshot Energy+Coffee Giveaway Winners Announced!

It’s officially time to announce the five winners of our Starbucks Doubleshot Energy+Coffee Giveaway. They are as follows:

  1. DG
  2. Jessica Jones
  3. Lisette
  4. Jessica!
  5. Chris Hauger

Winners will be sent emails shortly informing them of what they need to do to claim their prizes. And for those of you who didn’t win, I assure you the selection process wasn’t meant to be personal, it was simply a random drawing.

Thanks again for all who entered.

[Review] Mini Chill Relaxation Shot (Berry Bliss)

In today’s world it is all too often that you need an extra burst of energy just to keep up with your busy life. Thankfully there are plenty products for that. Energy Drinks, Energy Candies, Energy Shots, Energy Powders, Energy Patches, Energy Mixes, Energy Gum, Energy Soap, and the list goes on and on.

But what about when the time finally comes to slow down? Luckily there is a growing list of products out there that help calm you down when you need to relax and take a load off. The Mini Chill Relaxation Shot is one such product. Whether you’re getting ready for bed or just ending a stressful overtime shift, this thing will make your “you” time much more enjoyable. Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Sport Energy: Mango Cream

sportmangocreamenergydrinkI was digging through my fridge in an attempt to find something to help wake me up and quench my thirst when I stumbled upon the Mango Cream flavor of Sport Energy. I didn’t even know I had this, but based on the Fruit Punch flavor I reviewed last week I figured it was my safest bet for a decent energy drink.

I opened the can and lifted the vent up to my nose to get a feel for what I was about to drink. I was met with a soft scent which consisted primarily of a soft cream aroma on accompanying a sweet, fruity mango twist. The aroma was obviously artificial, but didn’t have any disgusting chemical burn. It was also surprisingly subtle, and I even had to sniff it a few times to get a proper impression. Continue reading

Starbucks Doubleshot Energy+Coffee Giveaway

Doubleshot.energy.lockupThe good folks over at Starbucks are sponsoring a contest right here on Everyview and hooking five readers up with some pretty sweet prizes! It’s easy and free to enter (so long as you follow the rules included after the jump) and all you have to do is leave a comment for your chance to win a prize pack from Starbucks themselves.

The theme this time around is one anyone with a job will be easily able to relate with, at least if you are even remotely like any of us Everyview writers. Simply let us know what you do while at work to make it look like you’re working when you are actually not doing a damn thing to benefit your employing company.

We all do it, so it’s nothing to be ashamed of. And hey, maybe your technique for laziness could help some of the less skilled bums get by a little better.

Check out the rest of this article after the jump to read the rules and see the prizes you could win! Continue reading