Category Archives: Energy Drinks

Review: eRev Obscene Energy

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eRev Obscene EnergyOverview:

eRev Obscene Energy is a smaller known supplement made by an oil company. Yeah, I’m not kidding. Now I’ve had some bad experiences with unknown brands of beverages, like Gazzu. I’ve also had some rather enjoyable supplements attained through taking risks, namely with Venom. So is eRev a horrible concoction or a wonderful discovery?

Straight from the can:

WARNING! This can contains enough energy to raise your intensity to a whole new level! When you’re out of fuel and need a quick fillup, open a can of eREV Obscene Energy Drink. The high-octaine combination of taurine and vitamin B12 will jumpstart your engine into hyperdrive. Then, the harcore driving buzz will take you from empty to extreme in no time. Ask yourself this first:

Can you handle the rush? Continue reading →

Review: Gazzu Energy

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Overview:

Gazzu is a strange product. I really think the people who made this were trippin out on something. Hard. Why do I say this? Check out what they have as their product description on the back our the can:

This Gazzu is something really different. They tell me that it’s a guarded secret formula used to make it, and the word it it’s not from Earth. I know this guy, who is connected, and he told me the secret ingredient is like moon dust! They figured out how to grow it in these labs, like crystals. Man, this stuff is crazy, it tastes better than any energy drink I’ve ever had.

Awesome energy and taste that’s like ….. cosmic. It’s Gazzu!! Hey, gimme a G.

Moon dust? Really? Hmm.
Continue reading →

Review: Cocaine Energy

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Cocaine Hot and Spicy

Overview:

Cocaine energy drink is one of the most sought after beverages in the industry due to the fact that next no store will carry and the only way to get it is through the drinks website. I’ve always wanted to taste the drink responsible for garnering so much flak from state and federal regulators, and mine is finally here. It’s review time!

Straight from the can:

Warning: This message is for the people who are too stupid to recognize the obvious. This product does not contain the drug Cocaine (duh). This product is not intended to be an alternative to an illicit street drug, and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot.

Awesome. Continue reading →

PackRat Paragraphs: Giant Monster Can Display

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This one goes out to Tallboy2112.

Alright, you wanna know how I managed to get my hands on this? Shameless flirting with a homosexual Middle Eastern gas station attendant. I’ll leave the details to your imagination, but I don’t care if you make fun of me. I really wanted this thing.

drinking monsterClick ‘Read More’ for more pics Continue reading →

Review: Monster Mixxd

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Monster MixxdOverview:

Ahh, Monster Mixxd. What can I say about you that you can’t say better? A lot. Let’s see what you say about yourself:

Straight from the can:

It’s midnight Wednesday and the house party is about to go off. Everyone is jacked-up on the latest batch of jungle juice cooking in the kettle. Bring back any memories?

How can a little bit of everything taste so good and work so damned quick. That’s kinda what we were thinking when we came up with Monster MIXXD. We took a bunch of our back-up flavors, tossed ’em together, F-NA it’s a masterpiece.

Monster MIXXD has a juiced-up flavor you can’t describe and a creeper buzz you won’t deny.

Don’t take our word for it. Check it out yourself. If you don’t like MIXXD you can have your money back.

Now let’s see what I have to say about you, Monster Mixxd. Continue reading →

Help Cocaine Fight for our Rights!

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Cocaine Energy drink is under complete assault. Because the drink is called Cocaine the Government wants to put them down! Don’t we have freedom of speech? I thought so. Don’t we have the right as Americans to say whatever we want? I thought so. Hmm…

Help Cocaine fight to protect our freedom of speech by making a PayPal donation here. Every penny counts, even the smallest donation with help their legal fund grow into something that could become a revolution, so don’t just sit there! Sit there and click some buttons to give Cocaine some cash, it’s for a just cause, I assure you.

Drink Cocaine, fight the Man!

Review: NOS Energy Drink

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At least the bottle's cool

At least the bottle is cool

Overview:

Nos comes in a super awesome bottle. It’s seriously one of the neatest containers for an energy drink I’ve ever seen. It’s a 22oz blue bottle designed to look like a tank of Nitrous Oxide, hence the name NOS.

I can’t really compliment much of what’s inside the bottle, though. Mainly because it’s bad. Nos is one of those horribly salty, medicine-like drinks that make your teeth feel gritty and your stomach cry. Well, it’s not that bad, but it’s definitely not good.

Review:

Nos has somewhat of a citrus-like scent that makes your mouth water, mainly because it’s a little on the sour side. The aroma is actually probably the only redeeming quality about this liquid besides the kick.

Continue reading →

Review: Starbucks Vanilla Energy+Coffee

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Overview:

So I’ve reviewed several of the Java Monster products and have complained about the lack of kick and how they all taste way too similar. That’s why I decided to pick up the vanilla flavored Starbucks Doubleshot Energy+Coffee this morning on my way to class. I wanted to see if Starbucks Doubleshot Energy can deliver where Java Monster’s don’t shine.

Straight from the can:

Your extra shot. Starbucks DoubleShot Energy+Coffee. A powerful, great-tasting brew of B vitamins, guarana, ginseng and natural proteins from milk. Charged up with coffee and vanilla. That extra surge to keep you energized and alert. Are you ready for more?

Continue reading →

Review: BAWLS Guarana

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BAWLSOverview:

From the BAWLS website:

BAWLS Guarana started as the brainchild of a then college student who was looking for an alternative to coffee. As part of a class project, he came up with BAWLS – a premium, carbonated, non-alcoholic beverage made with Guarana. Named for the caffeinated ‘Bounce’ it gives you, BAWLS gets its flavor and kick from the Amazonian Guarana berry, which contains a natural form of caffeine nearly three times stronger than that found in traditional sodas.

Using the untapped potential of Guarana in the United States as a source for caffeine in soft drinks, BAWLS Guarana took off with surprising strength on November 14, 1996 in Miami, FL. People instantly fell in love with the refreshing, crisp taste of BAWLS, while being able to enjoy the rush of caffeine the drink packs.

Now on the market for nearly 12 years, BAWLS Guarana is available nationwide and its popularity continues to grow among caffeine-deprived, refreshment-seeking techies, students, professionals and athletes in need of a Bounce.

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Review: Full Throttle Fury

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Full Throttle FuryOverview:

Straight from the can:

You’ve been there. Against the odds, you’ve found yourself in the home stretch-neck and neck with the other guy. Does he have what you have? The fury inside to go all the way? To never give up or let up? Se keep your fire burning by downing another Full Throttle Fury packed with 3,000 mg of the Full Throttle Energy Blend and a bold orange flavor. Because there’s only one choice…

Go Full Throttle or Go Home.

Let’s see how Full Throttle Fury stacks up to the competition.

Review:

Continue reading →