Review: Neuro Fuel

neuro fuel

Yo! This review was the result of me buying a can from a bad batch of Neuro Fuel. This review is completely inaccurate to the actual drink, so go check out the review for the drink’s proper formula right here.

Overview:

Have you ever wondered what piss tasted like but never wanted to drink it? Now, for all the curious kids, there is a drink that lets you experience the sensation of drinking urine without being weird. Of course that’s not what the makers of Neuro Fuel were aiming for, but it’s what they accomplished.

Straight from the can:

Neuro Fuel may increase the brain’s healthy nerve function and structure to enhance coordination, intelligence, and recovery. Neuro Fuel may increase dopamine which plays a large role in motivation, concentration, desire, sexual function, and a sense of well being. Neuro Fuel may enhance serotonin which promotes a “happy feeling” along with calming anxiety, relieving depression and reducing the urge to overeat.

While it’s true that this is the worst tasting energy drink I’ve ever, ever had, it does do most of the things it claims it does in the above quote. Click Read More to find out how.

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Review: Rip It Energy Fuel

Rip It PowerOverview:

A 99 cent energy drink? That can’t be good, right? I mean, I always pay upwards of $1.99 for my fix, so this has to be some pretty sick stuff.

That’s exactly what I’d thought before I got my first sip. While it’s true that Rip It is only 99 cents and most other generic brands that sell below the industry standard of $1.99 are usually bitter, sour, and have almost no kick, Rip It steps up to the plate and manages to knock the ball deep into center field with its unparalleled budget price and a delicious fruity flavor that satisfies on almost all fronts.

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The Top Five: Things I got for Xmas

This is the first addition to a new article I plan to start doing regularly called The Top Five. It’s obviously articles that are basically top 5 lists of any subject at all put together with pictures and my reasoning of why it deserves the spot it did. Since it’s right after Christmas, I figured the perfect thing to do would be writing a The Top Five on things I got from the Fat Man in Red and let all my readers write a little 5 item list of their own! So here it goes, The Top Five: Things I got for Xmas!

5. Energizer Wii Controller Charger:
For a long time I was content with my Nyko Charge Station. It worked really well and I enjoyed the rubber padding on the replacement wii chargercontroller backs. But as of recently it’s been having trouble charging my controllers, and those rubber pads I once loved make it a pain in the ass to use the Wii Zapper, which is a pain in the ass itself, or play Guitar Hero since it adds extra bulk to the Wiimote which keeps it from fitting in the Zapper or guitar controller. It’s about time to update and this is a great product to replace the old one with. It’s far more sleek and sexy, and replaces those uncomfortably bright blue l.e.d.’s from Nyko’s charger with soft green lights to indicate a fully charged batter. An overall superior product.
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Review: Monster Hitman

Monster HitmanOverview:

Hitman is Monster’s newest product, a tiny 3 swig shot of powerfully potent energy potion. You’re probably most familiar with 6 Hour Power energy shots, and if you’ve been looking then you’ve most likely started to see NOS, Full Throttle, and AMP putting out their own shots.

These shots are designed to give a sufficient kick that lasts for a while and has no traceable crash. Some do it better than others, and I’ll always prefer my energy drinks to be canned, hard hitting, short lived beasts with delicious tastes and aromas, but these shots are a good substitute for those who don’t like the crash, however subtle it may be.

Does Hitman nail it’s target?

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Review: Kronik Energy

Kronik EnergyOverview:

You’d probably think a generic energy drink called Kronik would be totally gross, as did I. I did, however, walk away from the can feeling slightly less satisfied than other drinks would leave me, yet a little surprised that I wasn’t throwing up or seeing clowns come out of the walls.

Straight from the can:

WARNING: MAY BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY ADDICTING

Why is this legal but Cocaine Energy isn’t? Oh well.

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Review: Full Throttle Blue Demon

Full Throttle Blue DemonOverview:

Blue Demon, the cousin of Fury, is a blue agave flavor supplement from Full Throttle. Chances are that you don’t know what blue agave is, so I’m going to tell you. The blue agave, or tequila agave, is a plant found most prominently in Mexico and is used to make — as you may have guessed — tequila. It’s basically a needle free cactus with a succulent, sweet tasting heart which is used for many alcoholic beverages, but mainly just tequila. There, you’ve learned something useless today!

So does Blue Demon, like tequila, cause your clothes to fall off? Let’s find out.

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’08 Holiday Buyer’s Guide: Energy Drink Fanatic

This guide is for the person who is/knows someone who is either obviously addicted to caffeine so intensely that they urinate blood on a regular basis, or just someone who likes to knock one back every once in a while. Only the best and highest reviewed drinks and most unbelievably awesome merchandise have made it on this list, so check it out. First up is the list of drinks.

Cocaine Energy Holiday Stimulus Pack

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Review: Brawndo The Thirst Mutilator

brawndoOverview:

Ever heard of Brawndo? Well if you haven’t seen the cult classic film Idiocracy then probably not. Brawndo The Thirst Mutilator is basically a novelty energy drink, but one that excels far ahead of all other joke drinks and competes with big names like Monster and Bawls on all fronts, and actually wins in most.

Straight from the can:

BRAWNDO’S GOT WHAT PLANTS CRAVE! Brawndo’s got electrolytes. And that’s what plants crave. They crave electrolytes. Which plants crave. they crave electrolytes. Which is what Brawndo has. And that’s why plants crave Brawndo. Not water, like from the toilet.

Don’t try to make sense of it, because you can’t. Just take note of the fact that Brawndo has electrolytes and does not come out of the toilet, I guess.

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Lots of Energy Drink Reviews are Coming!

Later today, tomorrow, and Saturday I think it’s only fair to warn you that you will be bombarded with awesome energy drink reviews which might be so awesome that your kidneys fail. You may be asking yourself something like “Why is he giving me so many awesome energy drink reviews? Does he love me?” The answer is yes. I love you very much. And also so that I can do a Holiday Buyer’s Guide for Energy Drink Lovers, and I’m pushing to get all Buyer’s Guides up before the tenth.

We’ve already done PC, DS, and Movie Lover guides, and still have several left to post! We should’ve started sooner, but we didn’t. Next year, though, expect awesome buyer’s guides by the first on December. Don’t hold me to that.

Click ‘Read More’ to see some of the Energy Drink Reviews that will be posted very, very soon.

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