Overview:
I’ve grown tired of reviewing Breaking Bad because doing so brings in no traffic and ultimately proves to be a waste of my time. With that in mind, I vowed I would only review Sunday’s season finale if I found the episode to be so engaging, my overwhelming sense of self-importance wouldn’t allow me to keep my opinions to myself.
Oh, well. It’s not as if I have anything better to do
I don’t play video games, but if I did, I imagine the only thing that could trump my excitement about this news would be the announcement of a Marvin Berry & the Starlighters reunion tour.
According to this site, Telltale Games (makers of a game or two I’m sure some of you have played/heard of) are releasing an episodic game based on Back To The Future, the single greatest achievement in cinematic history. I checked out of the video game scene after Wild Gunman, but this news is enough to even get my heart racing at about 88 MPH [I really wish I could close with a better reference than this, but I’m pressed for time (insert even lamer and more obvious DeLorean joke here)].
Overview:
Lethargy seems to have overtaken all members of the Everyview staff, so I have decided to take it upon myself to fix our shameful lack of content. So, here are my thoughts on the websibe, isnickelbacktheworstbandever.com.
Review:
IT’S FUCKING AWESOME!
Click here to see what I mean.
Final Score: 9.5/10
I have nothing to add which wasn’t already mentioned in the headline.
When I entered a local Burger King recently and discovered an ad for their Fire Grilled Ribs, it struck me as an idea so awful there was simply no way I could leave without ordering them. The thought of ribs being served at Burger King sounded like the fast food equivalent of an Ed Wood movie.
So, after letting two groups of people go ahead of me in line (I am just self-conscious enough to be embarrassed at the idea of having people overhear me ordering this) I was ready to write a scathing review of this somewhat (to me at least) comical product.
As I often make a point of complaining about on this site, I don’t have a lot in my life to get excited about. Knowing this, I was more than a bit eager to make my way to Columbus, Ohio on Sunday to catch a performance by My Morning Jacket, a band whose music I have become thoroughly obsessed with in recent months, on the last stop of their spring tour.
And while I naturally had to go through Hell to get to the show (hours and hours of driving, little to no sleep, a very public suspicion of DUI traffic stop((I haven’t had so much as a sip of alcohol in five years)), miserable rainy conditions at the venue, etc.), the end result was anything but disappointing. Continue reading
Warning: Review may contain spoilers.
I am well aware that no one who visits this site regularly gives a shit about the obscure movies I review. So knowing what a colossal waste of time such critiques are, it serves me well only to write them when dealing with movies which truly evoke a strong emotional reaction out of me.
Antichrist, to say the least, is such a film.
Plot Outline:
During a bout of passionate sex, a therapist (Willem Dafoe) and his writer wife (Charlotte Gainsbourg) shut off the baby monitor to their young son’s room so as not to be disturbed. Things turn tragic when the precocious kid falls to his death from an open window.
After she collapses at the funeral, the therapist decides to take it upon himself to help his wife work through her grief by taking her to a deep woods cabin called Eden (get it?) where she spent the previous summer with her son working on a thesis paper about women through history, and whether they are intrinsically evil or simply misunderstood. Naturally, things turn ugly. Continue reading
Overview:
Earlier this week, I reviewed three new Mountain Dew flavors the company has released in its most recent “Dewmocracy” competition. I was hoping not to have to discuss these products any further (especially after the very public humiliation I encountered by having my grammatical inaccuracies pointed out in a surprisingly sanctimonious string of posts from a young man who normally leaves us insightful and hilarious comments such as “SUP LADIES WANT DO SEX”), but Zac “Pritchy Boy” Pritcher had other ideas.
So here’s a recap… Continue reading
Overview:
You wanna know something about writing three Mountain Dew reviews in the span of 12 hours? It’s actually a million times more tedious than it sounds. But with this, I’m finally done, so here’s my review of Whiteout.
Review:
To me, Whiteout, which is being called a “smooth citrus Dew,” looked like the least appetizing of all the new flavors. When I saw the bottle, it looked to me like someone just bottled up water that had recently absorbed about two dozen antacid tablets. However, a quick glace at the official Dewmocracy website shows it to be out in front of the other two flavors, including an early lead in my beloved home state of Indiana. So with such a solid word-of-mouth, I was a bit more eager to try it out.
Sadly, I quickly realized I should have maintained my skepticism, as this actually turned out to be my least favorite of the new flavors, and arguably the least appealing Mountain Dew creation I have ever come across. I didn’t struggle to finish it, but I was hardly jonesing to purchase myself a second bottle when I did finish. Continue reading
Overview:
When one promises to do a series of reviews, they should probably take into consideration if anyone actually cares enough about the topic to merit additional posts.
Oh well, I promised to review all three new Mountain Dew Flavors, and seeing as how I’m contractually obligated to do so, here’s my take on Distortion.
Review:
Of all the new Dew flavors competing to find a permanent spot on store shelves nationwide, Distortion, a “lime blasted Dew,” seemingly has the biggest obstacle to overcome. Both the drink and the bottle look almost identical to the company’s trademark regular flavor, making it almost impossible for a casual shopper to differentiate it from a bottle of regular Mountain Dew. Ultimately, this would just lead to customer disappointment, as regular Mountain Dew is quite a bit better.
Even more perplexing about the bottle is that it was the result of a fan design contest. Apparently the best anyone could do with a lime flavored mountain dew is a regular Mountain Dew bottle without the sketches of mountains. So congratulations Ben Stone, you’ve accomplished the equivalent of winning an art contest by painting American Gothic sans the pitchfork. Continue reading