Author Archives: Casual Clay Cunningham

[Unfathomably Popular Hellacious Season Review] Spring

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When you live in a cold weather region, there’s no denying that enduring winter can be an appallingly horrendous ordeal. It’s miserably cold and excess amounts of wind, snow and ice can make travel and most other general life functions an unfairly difficult affair. Aside from temperatures that make for favorable sleeping conditions, there’s really nothing about it that’s pleasant.

So when one is forced to take on such gruelling conditions for several months at a time, it’s not hard to understand why there tends to be an aura of excitement when people anticipate being injected with “new life” by the upcoming spring season, which promises to offer relief from the arctic awfulness.

While this degree of anticipatory optimism is understandable, blindly ignoring the obvious fact that spring is nothing but a never ending nightmare of thunderstorms, hail, floods and 3 a.m. tornado siren wakeup calls, with an occasional nice, pleasant sunny day peppered in once or twice a month, is not. Call me a cynic if you must, but when I’m spending a third consecutive day uncomfortably crammed crotch-to-ass with people I barely know in a dingy apartment complex storm cellar, rarely does the thought “hey, at least it’s not snowing” enter my head. Continue reading →

[B-Movie Review] Birdemic: Shock and Terror

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Overview:

While many were spending Oscar night watching the mind-numbing ceremony rewarding Hollywood’s best, I was alone in my bedroom watching perhaps the single most stunningly inept piece of B-movie trash ever created.

The movie was Birdemic: Shock and Terror a movie that ceremonies like the Academy Awards were likely created to bring an end to. Luckily, for dorks like me, they have not yet succeeded.

Synopsis:

Software guru Rod (Alan Bagh) and fashion model Nathalie (Whitney Moore) have fallen in love and are about to settle down after Rod makes a mult-million dollar business transaction. Their plans to spend eternity together hit a snag, when deadly brids unleash a wave of shock and terror. Continue reading →

[Movie Review] Let Me In (2010)

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The only thing that gives American cinemaphiles a greater sense of satisfaction than latching on to an acclaimed foreign film is scoffing at the idea of that movie being remade in America. So naturally, many a self-righteous brow became furrowed upon the release of Let Me In, the Americanized version of the excellent 2008 Swedish movie Let The Right One In.

While it would be false of me to deny ever engaging in acts of film snobbery, I can honestly say I went into Let Me In with a completely neutral attitude and am happy to report it’s not a travesty, but rather a good, sometimes excellent, re-telling of one of the great sad stories of recent memory.

Synopsis:

Like the original movie and the novel it’s based upon, Let Me In tells the story of a lonely and bullied kid, in this version, named Owen. While fantasizing revenge against his tormentors, Owen meets Abby, an outsider whose moved in next door to him.

The two strike up a friendship, with Abby providing Owen with a much-needed friend as well as helping him stand up to his bullies. Things become complicated, however, upon Owen’s realization that his new friend is a vampire.

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[Album Review] ST II: The Cosmic Birth and Journey of Shinju TNT by Akron/Family

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Over the past few years, I’ve developed a pretty intense hatred of most art-rock. A great deal of it is irritatingly pretentious, self-congratulatory and worthless.

So when I stumble across a bands like Akron/Family, who are able to throw together a seemingly endless barrage of musical styles and still create songs that sound as if they are being performed by human beings, I must admit I find it very exciting.

The band has been on quite a hot streak over the past few years, a streak I’m happy to say they’ve continued with S/T II: The Cosmic Birth and Journey of Shinju TNT.

Review:

With such an epic title, I suspect there are expansive story elements to Shinju TNT which may provide it with deeper meaning. In time I will perhaps explore them, but thus far I’ve tried to enjoy the album on a purely visceral level, and I’m happy to say I very much have.

Of the three A/F albums I’ve heard, Epic Journey is the most atmospheric, with certain songs achieving an almost Sigur Ros quality of ambiance. There’s an almost hypnotic quality to tracks like “Island” and “Fuji II (Single Pane” which makes for quality relaxation at the end of a stressful 28 hour work week.

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[Food Review] Hershey’s Milk Chocolate with Caramel

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Here’s a portion of a DoesItHitTheSpot.com review:

The problems started right off the bat for me, as there is an unpleasant, soggy quality to both the taste and texture of the bar. The result is a creation that, quite frankly, doesn’t taste good. It’s almost like something you picked up out of a swimming pool. Not quite that bad, mind you, but much closer than I would have hoped for.

Also, the aftertaste is much too strong. Granted I didn’t care for it the first go around, but a nearby beverage is an absolute must if you are going to attempt to eat this thing, because you will be tasting it hard for a long time after you’ve finished.

Lastly, it made my mouth very phlegmy. Hershey’s Milk Chocolate with Caramel gave me unfortunate flashbacks to the gross soups my mom used to force-feed me when I was battling strep throat as a kid. It didn’t make me feel sick, but there is an odd sort of illness recreation quality to the bar which is just another reason not to buy it.

Read the full review on Does It Hit The Spot by clicking here!

[Book Review] “Behind The Bell” by Dustin Diamond

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve always loved Saved By The Bell. Sure there are detractors who will say the show is “lame” and “predictable” and “an inaccurate depiction of high school” and “in one episode, the Bayside gang makes a documentary in which they were inexplicably able to film dream sequences.” And while all that’s true, I never felt ashamed for liking it.

Well, that all changed recently, as my fandom overpowered my better judgment, causing me to spend money on Behind The Bell the behind-the-scenes tell all by Dustin Diamond, known to SBTB fans as Samuel “Screech” Powers. Not only is this the worst book I have ever read, it’s the only published work of any kind that has ever caused me to feel intense envy for the illiterate.

Basically all you need to know about this book is that the actor who played Screech hated his cast mates as well as many other aspects of the Hollywood life and decided to exact his revenge by writing this torturous excuse of a memoir.

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[Book Review] Half Empty by David Rakoff

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Overview:

For years, I have had to endure countless people telling me how much better my consistently unfulfilling life would be if I were to simply adapt a more positive outlook. Having never believed this statement to be factual, naturally I was intrigued when I heard of a book which took comedic aim at debunking the notion that optimism is directly related to happiness.

And while Half Empty, the new book by acclaimed humorist David Rakoff wasn’t exactly what I expected it to be, it was an intriguing and consistently entertaining book about the author’s misanthropic life. Continue reading →

The Top Five TV Shows of the Past Decade and One Year

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Last year at decade’s end, I compiled a few best of and worst of lists to commemorate the first 10 years of the new millennium. However, when doing this, for some reason I neglected to compile any sort of list for my favorite entertainment medium; television.

And seeing as how I am without question the most reputable voice of opinion on the internet, it doesn’t seem fair to the masses who suckle at my every word not to put something together regarding my opinion on TV. So with that, here are the shows that wielded through the cluttered reality TV mess of the past several years and showed there will always be a place for quality, scripted television.

Honorable Mentions:

The Office (US Version, NBC), Modern Family (ABC) Extras (HBO/BBC), Arrested Development before it became unbearably smug and entirely self-referential (ie, Season One)

5. Flight of the Conchords (HBO)

Sure, this import from New Zealand only ran for two seasons. And sure, only one of them was truly good. But if there was any one season that yielded a spot on this list on its own individual merits, it’s the first season of Flight of the Conchords.

From the quirky songs, hilariously bizarre dialogue and situations and a nearly perfect cast, FOTC was one of the great comedy creations when it hit the airwaves in 2007, and even though it petered out surprisingly quickly, it still left a lasting impression on me and dozens of others.

4. Mad Men (AMC)

Perhaps the most critically acclaimed series of the past few years, it took me a few seasons to truly embrace this series about sexy people and their sexy adventures in the sexy world of 1960’s Madison Avenue Advertising. While I’ve enjoyed it from the get-go, for some reason it just didn’t make an overwhelming impact right away.

However, over the past few years, series creator Matthew Weiner (allegedly pronounced “why-ner.” Yeah, fucking right!) and the rest of the cast and crew have pulled me in with some of the most intricately plotted dramatic television today. And while it did create one of the most shockingly bizarre scenes in recent memory, Mad Men is arguably the least flashy great show of its time, and must be credited for being compelling without feeling as if it needs to constantly dazzle its audience.

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