Author Archives: Casual Clay Cunningham

[Book Review] “Everything Hurts” by Bill Scheft

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everything-hurtsOverview:

I have long admired the work of Bill Scheft as the head writer of “The Late Show With David Letterman,” a program I have watch nightly for many years. However, it wasn’t until recently I discovered he was a renowned author, and despite how much I have bragged in previous posts as being a vast appreciator of literature, truth be told I really only take the time to read between five and ten books a year.

But when I saw Scheft promoting his latest book “Everything Hurts” on Letterman recently, it sounded like a story I would grasp onto. And I am always up for discussing topics that make me seem of a higher breed of intellect, so if you have been bothered by my recent outburst of literary prowess, tough luck, fuckers. I’m doing it again. Continue reading →

[Music News] Stream Jeff Mangum’s “Starlit Crypt” on Pitchfork

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jittery_lgFor those of you unfamiliar with the music of Jeff Mangum, he was the musical force behind indie music heroes Neutral Milk Hotel in the 90’s. At the risk of overselling his brilliance, he is literally the closest thing I have ever had to a personal messiah.

After achieving cult icon status after the release of his band’s 1998 masterpiece “In The Aeroplane Over The Sea,” Mangum disappeared and hasn’t recorded a new studio album since. He did however return last fall, performing his song “Engine” on a tour dubbed “The Elephant 6 Holiday Surprise Tour.” I was lucky enough to witness one of these performances and I can say the experience was more orgasmic than every orgasm I have ever had put together. Continue reading →

[Film Review] Killshot

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Overview:

Last summer, I read Elmore Leonard’s crime novel “Killshot” and enjoyed it. Then weeks later I read that shooting of a feature film based on the book had wrapped and I got excited. Not simply because I was eager to see the movie, but because after years of listening to my more intellectual friends complaining about how Hollywood movies ruined books they had enjoyed, I was FINALLY going to get to stroke my own intellectual beard and utter those words that gave them so much smug satisfaction: “the book was much better.” Then the movie essentially made the argument for me by going strait-to-DVD. Continue reading →

A Much Deserved Thanks to all Who Voted in “Blank Check” VS “First Kid”

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The results are officially off the wire, and they have declared me, Clay Cunningham, and, most importantly, “First Kid” the winner of the first ever “Master Debate.”

These last few days have been rough on me, with the constant campaigning creating many sleepless nights. What’s worse is that on the rare occasions when sleep did occur, I would quickly be awoken from my slumber, drenched in frigid sweat, as all I could dream of was living in a nightmarish world where people were more inclined to vote for “Blank Check.” Luckily for all of us, that world will never come to be. Continue reading →

Music News: Wilco Album Stream Taken Down

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Two days ago, I wrote a brief piece leaving a link where readers could stream the new Wilco album, “Wilco (The Album)” for free on the bands website and promised a review in the coming days. Sadly, a little more than 24 hours after I made the post, the stream was deleted. Why, I do not know, but what I do know is that it is no longer there.

If anything changes and the album reappears, I will repost the information. But I do know there were at least three people who were interested in the stream, so to you and anyone else who clicked on the link expecting free Wilco goodness, only to find nothing of value at all, I am sorry.

Music News: Radiohead Begin Work on New Album

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Pretentious music snobs and lack wits desperately attempting to gain music credibility (the author raises his hand) can rejoice, as it has been announced that Radiohead, the most important band in the aforementioned demographics, has begun work on a new album.

According to NME, the band headed into the studio last week to begin recording the follow-up to 2007’s Grammy winning “In Rainbows.” The album is being produced by Nigel Godrich, who has helmed the group’s previous five albums.radiohead-le-groupe-au-complet

Music News: Stream the New Wilco Album Online

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A few weeks ago, we ran a review of live show by Alt-rockers Wilco. For those of you craving new studio material prior to the June 30th release of their seventh studio album, simply titled “Wilco (The Album),” you can stream the new material for free on the band’s official site. I will attempt to give a few listens and post an official review sometime by the end of the week. wilco

The Master Debate: “Blank Check” VS “First Kid”

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Welcome readers to the first (and hopefully not last) installment of “The Everyview Correspondent Master Debate,” which was previously announced last week. The debated topics this week are two live-action Disney pictures, 1994’s “Blank Check” and 1996’s “First Kid.”

“Blank Check” tells the story of Preston Waters, a lonely kid whose dreams of high finance are fulfilled when a burglar runs over his bike and gives him a blank check to cover the damages. When he discovers Preston wrote the check for a million dollars, the burglar and his associates try to get their money back, only to discover that Preston (and his alias “Mr. Macintosh) isn’t the “blank” slate they had assumed he would be. Arguing on behalf of the film is Andrew Majors.

clayvsandrewthemasterdebate

“First Kid” is the tale of Sam Simms, a goofy but lovable Secret Service Agent whose dreams of landing a gig in the White House finally come true…when he’s assigned to protect the President’s bratty teenage son Luke. Though initially reluctant of his new assignment, Simms forms an unbreakable bond with young Luke and grows to find that maybe, just maybe, that dream job was right in front of him the all along. Making a case for this film is Clay Cunningham.

At the end there will be a poll where you, the reader, can decide who made the better argument and which is the better film. Results will officially be tallied one week from when the arguments were posted.

So read up, and make your voice heard. And don’t be afraid to get your friends involved as well. Let’s all enjoy the wonders of democracy together.

Blank Check:
Argument by: Andrew Majors

blank_checkBlank Check is a film with no equal.

The story is simple. A kid is given a check in haste that, you guessed it, happens to be blank. The premise is simple. The execution of this story is second to none.

The main character, Preston, shows a trait that is lost in today’s live-action children’s movies: BALLS. He takes this blank check, and he writes it for ONE MILLION DOLLARS. He’s not greedy. He just wants a sum that will both repair his destroyed bicycle, and leave him with about $999,965 dollars in damages. Had he been greedy, he could have hired a lawyer and walked away with at least quintuple that sum!

The movie is just as relevant today as it was in 1994 ( A year in which is was possibly overshadowed by other great films like The Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, and Pulp Fiction), and the real stand-out performance is given by Brian Bonsall as Preston. Older audiences might recognize him from Family Ties, (as the adorable Andy Keaton) He’s a kid and he handles his new found fortune with great maturity, choosing not to blow his money on worthless trinkets, but choosing to invest in his local economy by purchasing a home. Mature beyond his years, that kid. Bonsall delivers the performance of a lifetime,thrusting himself into a role so demanding and so emotionally draining, that even Daniel Day Lewis must have been impressed.

While First Kid can boast an all-star cast that Blank Check can not (Sinbad and Zachary Ty Bryan), Blank Check thrives off of a lesser-known cast, and achieves a sense of realism First Kid just can not. A real standout performance from a successful musician Tone Loc gives the film all the star power it needs. And while we’re at it, give me Tone Loc over Sinbad any day. Loc provides a performance obviously channeled from the greats like Brando and Nicholson, while Mr. Bad obviously is just playing for laughs, making actors like Jimmy Fallon look award-worthy.

I believe Disney really missed the boat by never cashing in, and making this a franchise. A world with three High School Musical’s, and one Blank Check? This isn’t a world I want to live in.

If you like intimate character studies, and love to laugh, Blank Check is a must-see. If you like seeing a young boys bare ass, maybe check out First Kid.

First Kid:
Argument by: Clay Cunningham

The fact this debate needs to exist is silly, but since it does, I will state what we already know: “First Kid” is a vastly superior picture.

first-kidIt’s better because of the acting. Sinbad and Brock Pierce have undeniable chemistry as Sam and Luke, the secret-service agent and President’s son who have no choice but to get along with each other. To see the metamorphosis of their relationship from contempt to friendship is beautiful.

The stand-out performance is by Zachary Ty Bryant. FINALLY freed from the shackles of his Brad Taylor persona, ZTB gets to sink his teeth into the role of Rob, the school bully and knocks it out of the park. His performance will chill you right to the bone.

It’s better because of its prophetic view on race relations. Not only is the main character black, but so is the head of the Secret Service. It was great that in 1996 we got to see a multi-racial comradery in the White House. Would the Obama election have happened without this film? Not saying yes, but definitely not saying no.

Conversely, who’s the primary black character in “Blank Check?” A thief…named Juice. Nice.

It’s better because it’s not ridiculous in its execution. Are you telling me that young Preston could buy a lavish house, a go-cart track, a water slide and a shitload of other marvels and spend a mere $999,675? Can you imagine if everyone were to overspend this drastically? That could create a global economic crisis. Thank God that could never happen in real life, right?

Finally, it comes down to the message these movies leave for their impressionable young viewers. They each have the noble set-up of kids struggling to fit in, and both have an “everything will be ok if you just….” message. Here’s how each movie fills in the blank:

“First Kid”…believe in yourself

“Blank Check”…commit fraud and grand theft

Sure Preston stole from bad people, but so what? That little weasel would have stolen from a children’s charity and not given it a second though. Is it any wonder the movies star Brian Bonsall is currently a fugitive from the law? I don’t think so.

I’m not saying my opponent is a crumbum. His taste in movies says more than words ever could. If you like viable social behavior, or just better filmmaking, make the right choice. Vote “First Kid.”

Polls are close, sorry but you missed out. Check out the results here.

Mitch Hedberg: “Do You Believe In Gosh?” (Album Review)

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Overview:

Mitch Hedberg, a cult icon in the world of stand-up comedy, was one of the truly great and original voices of his time. His innovative and hilarious style essentially made him peerless; making his death of a drug overdose on March 29, 2005 all the sadder. Prior to his death he was performing new material that he eventually hoped to turn into a third full-length album. Clips from various  gigs at The Improv in Ontario, California, recorded in January of 05, were spliced together and the album “Do You Believe In Gosh?” was born. Though not a completed work, the album at least gives a respectable farewell to a man who was more than deserving of the title of comedic genius.

Review:

goshIt should be stated up front that much of the material on this album is rough. Had he not been killed this would have been a very disappointing development, but since tragedy did strike, it actually proves to be quite endearing to hear him on stage doing what he does best with great enthusiasm so close to the time of his death. He even has fun with his unfinished material. After a joke basically deteriorates into nothing he says “I gotta work on that, but trust me, it’s so fucking funny. Go into my head and come back out and tell me I’m wrong.”

Despite the unpolished feel of the show, there are moments of sheer brilliance. Whether it’s his rapid-fire one-liners (highlights include, “I can read minds, but it’s pointless because I’m illiterate,” and “I walked by a record store and the sign out front said they specialized in hard to find records and tapes; nothing was alphabetized!”) or more drawn out material (the best joke of the disc is a story about Lola, a girl without arms who doesn’t know the meaning of can’t) there are several moments on “Gosh” that are  as funny as funny gets.

Also strong as ever is Hedberg’s impeccable delivery. If 99% of the world’s population uttered the phrase “I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is fucking clean,” it wouldn’t even sound like a joke. Yet when those words are uttered by Mitch Hedberg, they are hilarious.

Final Words:

When someone dies of “multiple drug toxicity,” it creates an image of them lying sprawled out in a dark room, completely sheltered from the world waiting for death. It was great to hear that two months before his death, this was not an accurate image of Hedberg. It’s fantastic to hear the enthusiasm he has for performing shine through even as he was about to meet his demise. He even sort of cornily, but endearingly, states at one point on this album, “I try not to smile on stage but it’s fun. Performing’s fun.”

Though he wasn’t exactly a household name (because as he put it, “most of my fans live in apartments”) there is a real timeless quality to Mitch Hedberg that should secure him a devoted following for years to come. I will state, however, if you are new to his material, “Do You Believe In Gosh?” is not the album to start with. Rather, you should first seek out his previous, more well-defined albums “Strategic Grill Locations” and “Mitch All Together.” But if you are an established fan, this album is a very worthy companion to his past work. The only disappointment is that he didn’t survive long enough to finish it.

Pros

  • Funny
  • Infectious
  • A strong testament to Hedberg’s memory

Cons

  • Unpolished
  • The rough edges prove to be a sad testament to his death

Score: 8/10

Material: 8.0/10 (Would have definitely been stronger had he had time to smooth over the rough patches, but still funny.)
Delivery: 9.0/10 (Possessed the ability to make one laugh at almost nothing.)
Originality: 9.0/10 (Hard to pinpoint anyone like him.)
His Death: 0/10 (I can think of no living comic funnier than him and it’s a shame he’s not still around.)

Retro-Review: Tecmo Super Bowl

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tecmo_super_bowl_boxartOverview:

“Tecmo Super Bowl” was released in 1991 on the Nintendo Entertainment System as the sequel to the popular football game “Tecmo Bowl.” It was the first game to use the names and attributes of actual NFL teams and players. It is, without hyperbole, a million times better than every other video game ever created.

And while my opening statement may seem to indicate this is going to be nothing but a kiss ass piece, that is not the case. While this game has brought me ridiculous amounts of joy, it has also helped create feelings of rage-filled hatred for life I didn’t realize existed until the moment they were spawned. So here it is, my official review for a game that has been in my life for longer than all but one of my friends.

Review:

I’m not even going to bother taking the time to review this game from a technical sense because it’s 18 years old. Obviously it’s not technically sound compared to modern games, but who gives a shit? It’s just plain fun. It’s an absolute blast to take control and dominate with unstoppable players on offense (Bo Jackson, Christian “The Nigerian Nightmare” Okoye) and defense (Lawrence Taylor, Derrick Thomas).

If you watched any of the videos linked to above, it’s clear the game isn’t overly realistic. But to reiterate a previous point, who gives a shit? Why would anyone want to play a realistic football simulator? I played real football for several years and it fucking sucked. I’d much rather lose myself in an exaggerated fantasy world than be reminded of the neanderthal lunkheads I had to deal with in my playing days.

And who’s to say this isn’t how the actual game should be played? I love the NFL, but wouldn’t it be more interesting if quarterbacks possessed the ability to throw frozen rope passes from one end zone to the other? At the time of his arrest, Michael Vick had a contract worth $130 million. Maybe if he had spent his money training himself to develop unprecedented arm strength instead of bankrolling dog fights, he’d be preparing to lead the Atlanta Falcons to a Super Bowl instead of rotting in a jail cell.

Conversely, for all the joy I’ve gotten out of the game, it’s hard to neglect all the pain and anguish it has thrust upon me. I do like that when you go through season mode that games do get tougher, as it would get boring otherwise. However, the rate at which this game overrates certain players is beyond absurd.

It’s one thing to lose a playoff game to the San Fransisco 49ers, arguably the best team on the game, via a hail mary touchdown pass to Jerry Rice, the game’s best receiver. It’s another thing entirely when you are nursing a four point lead and get gashed for an 84 yard touchdown on the last play of a playoff game by Tom Rathman, who Tecmo creators, for some reason, believed was the pudgy white offspring of Walter Payton and Earl Campbell. Anyone who plays this game and says that scenario doesn’t make you want to use your cartridge as a disc for skeet shooting is lying.

Also, it is very good at driving rifts between you and the people you play against. I have literally gone weeks without speaking to friends due to fights caused by this game. Whether it’s a bullshit loss (like having your defensive back illegally picked, leaving your opponent’s receiver wide open for a game-winning score),  or a friends whining (beating them four strait games and having them blame every lose on a broken controller, even when we switch after each game!) tense arguments are bound to ensue. This isn’t massive to me as I value the game more than I value friendship, but if you do enjoy a non-confrontational relationship with your peers, this game  isn’t for you.

Final Words:

Though my anger may seem to indicate otherwise, I don’t want to give the impression that this is anything less than the best video game ever made, because I swear to you it is. Sure it’s imperfect, even to degrees that make you want to chuck your Nintendo against the wall. But who decided that the things you love have to be perfect anyway? Flaws and all, this game has given me more joy than I could have ever gotten from modern “polished” games with their “good” graphics and “realistic” gameplay.

And while I may have given the impression this game has killed my friendships, that isn’t the case at all. If anything, it has kept them going. Most of the tension it causes comes to an end because we get bored and need someone to play Tecmo with. The only other option is making new friends who also share our love of the game and that can be tricky. Like parents who stay together so as to not emotionally scar their children, these friendships continue, even though the parties involved really don’t much care for each other. That is the twisted beauty of this game.

Final Words II:

Normally these reviews are concluded by giving scores but I’m not really interested in applying one to this game. While it no doubt gets a perfect 10 for replay value, I can’t really give it a perfect overall score because technically speaking it isn’t perfect. However, I can say with 100% honesty that I wouldn’t change a single thing about this game, no matter how angry and hateful it has made me. In that aspect, it is perfect.

I can’t really gauge if this would be fun to non-football fans because I have loved the NFL for as long as I can remember. But if you like football and are looking for a better solution than the vastly overrated entry in the “Madden” series, do everything you can to hunt down an old Nintendo system and a working copy of this game. It will be the best decision you have ever made.

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