Author Archives: Brian Somheil

[Flash Game Review] Spikes Tend to Kill You 2

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Spikes Tend to Kill You 2 is a flash skill platformer.  You are a steaming square with a dot in the middle, and you must navigate a series of screens.  Each screen is filled with spikes or turrets that shoot yellow pixel bullets.

The bulk of the gameplay is…well what I described in the previous paragraph.  It hearkens back to other skill jumping games like of maddening insanity like I Wanna Be the Guy or the nightmarish disappearing blocks from Mega Man.  The major difference though, is that with I Wanna Be the Guy it had bits of old Nintendo games and nostalgic graphics.  It was pretty much a self-aware parody of the platformer genre.  With the Mega Man series, the invisible blocks were only part of Dr. Wily’s nefarious plan.  You still get to fight robots and earn different weapons.

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[Quick Review] North American River Otters

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North American River OtterOtters are the single greatest creatures which God’s hands had ever placed upon this earth.  Not only do they remind me of Gollum from Lord of the Rings, they have these things called “group rubbings” where they all get together and rub against one another.  It’s a giant, fuzzy hullabaloo of squeaky goodness that makes you want to jump in and kiss an otter on the mouth.

Final Words

They’re such capable creatures that they put the “can” in Lontra canadensis.

Pros 

  • They are masters of both land and water.
  • They eat crayfish so I don’t have to.
  • They can be trained by humans to catch and retrieve fish.

Cons

  • Sadly, they are part of the weasel family and must overcome all of the bad connotations associated.
  • The ability of flight eludes them, thus preventing these otherwise flawless creatures from soaring through the skies and wrapping their adorable paws around a perfect score. Which they would probably use as a tool to open shells.

Score:  9.5/10

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[Flash Game Review] Last Robot 2

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Last Robot 2 is a typical distance flash game.  Try to get your robot up to a big pizza in the sky by bouncing off of platforms.  There are different abilities to help you reach your goal.  There is a parachute to help you get from platform to platform, and you can buy the ability to fly.  It’s the same as most distance games: get as far as you can while collecting “coins,” fail to reach your goal, buy upgrades, and try again.

The graphics are weak, but that’s not what these games are about.  There are 8 upgrade categories in which to sink coins, and three levels that compose each upgrade: maneuverability, jump height, and armor are just a few.  There are even a few achievements to top everything off.

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