[Drink Review] Bossa Nova: Mangosteen with Passion Fruit

This is the first review in a series that will cover the line of super fruit juices from Bossa Nova. They offer a wide range of drinks, ranging from this Mangosteen and Passion Fruit flavor to Acai and Blueberry (which is, in case you didn’t know, one of the greatest flavor combinations on earth) and many in between.

Now, I’ve never had mangosteen but I am willing to try new things, especially when they are as loaded with antioxidants as this is. I’ve been trying all sorts of antioxidizing juices and overall “healthy” drinks lately for some reason (yes, I drink more than just soda and energy drinks), so I’ve got a pretty good idea of how this stacks up to some other products out there. Let’s see how it does!

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[Drink Review] Black Jack: Calypso Green Tea (Fifty Things I’d Rather Do Than Drink This Stuff Ever Again)

Black Jack’s Calypso Green Tea is one of, if not the worst thing I’ve ever drank. So, instead of writing a review and discussing the different attributes of the product as I normally would, I’ve decided to make a list of Fifty things I would rather do than drink this stuff ever again.

  1. Eat an oven roasted baby corpse
  2. Share the corpse with my dog
  3. Kill my dog
  4. Eat my dead dog
  5. Get raped
  6. Get raped by Dr. Phil
  7. Get raped by my own mother
  8. Cook my penis and feed it to Dr. Phil
  9. Use Ben Gay as lube for masturbation
  10. Stuff a lizard inside my pee hole Continue reading

[Energy Drink Review] Vital Energy (Acai – Blueberry)

A portion of a Caffeine Critic review:

Vital Energy has already proven itself as a competent brand to me once before in the form of their Tangerine flavored drink. It was a surprisingly solid beverage that, despite being an energy water, packed one hell of a punch. Now I’m looking at Acai-Blueberry, another flavor in the powerful line of products that has a flavor that sounds like it’s just about perfect for me.

Read the full review on CaffeineCritic.com!

[Food Review] Lay’s Kettle Cooked Chips: Harvest Ranch

A portion of a Does It Hit The Spot review.

I work at a grocery store as a bagger. Do you know what that means? It means I belong to the chain of stores I work for. I’m their slave. At times, I am their sex slave. I do what they say, when they say it. I have no input in anything that occurs in my company, nor will my opinions ever be valued by the higher ups. I push carts in 90 degree weather wearing black pants. I sweep floors, I mop spills, I clean human feces out of sinks in the bathroom, and I bag groceries with a smile on my face. I hate it.

Regardless, it’s a great place to work come lunch time. Anything I might be feeling that day is usually just a few aisles down. Of course, I also have a very tight budget. So when I’m not snacking on raman, Banquet meals, and dog food, oftentimes I’ll spend about $10 – $15 at once on food and feed off of it throughout the week. When I do this I like to get the basics: whole wheat bread, muenster, swiss, or pepper jack cheese, a 1 lb. package of lunch meat, Claussen pickles, and a bag of chips. Most recently I bought this Lay’s brand kettle cooked variety, the flavor sounding delicious and the “All Natural” label was enticing. They were a bit out of my regular budget, but I decided they would be a worthy trade over the usual bag of Funions.

Read the full review on DoesItHitTheSpot.com!

[Movie Review] Deadgirl (2008)

Zombie movies are for many, myself included, their very own genre of film. You’ve got horror films, thrillers, suspense, and many different variations of the scary movie. Separated from all of them by category is the Zombie movie. It’s something that’s had many different takes by many different writers and directors, lead in quality and execution by the legendary George A. Romero, director and screenwriter of the “of the Dead” series of films — Night, Dawn, Day, Land, Diary and Survival — all of which serve as the basic building blocks for any Zombie movie that hopes to reach anything higher than garbage.

And still, despite being around since the premier of White Zombie in 1932 and popularized to peak heights with the release of Night of the Living Dead in 1968, some directors are finding new and unique takes on the zombie movie genre. Case in point – Deadgirl. It is certainly a zombie film, but unlike any I’ve ever seen. No hoards of living dead, very little flesh consumption, no head shots, and no apocalypse. What does Deadgirl offer instead? Zombie sex. And lots of it.

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[Food Review] Raybern’s Deli Style Philly CheeseSteak

Over the winter time my pops and I went to Sam’s Club to stock up on freezer foods for whole sale prices. We try to keep a variety of grub in the icebox and try to keep an open selection so that nothing ever gets old. We stumbled upon these Philly Steak and Cheese sandwiches in the freezer foods section, specifically called “Raybern’s New York Deli Style Philly CheeseSteak.” Later into the night after coming home and hunger struck me, I decided to heat up one of these bad boys to see what they were like.

What’s really neat is that they’re wrapped up in paper, just like if you were buying it from a street vendor somewhere. You don’t have to unwrap it or anything, you just throw it in the microwave, heat it up for anywhere from 60 seconds to 75 seconds (depending on the wattage of your microwave) and you have a perfect-looking sandwich, melted cheese with the warm sliced steak, and the warm bread. When you bite into it, you have the authentic Philly Cheese Steak taste, and the nice thing about it is, you can make them whenever you want — because they’re in your freezer.

Read Trey Bolinger’s full review on Does It Hit The Spot!

[Energy Review] PowerBar Energy Gel Blasts

PowerBar is well known across the fitness world for their energizing snackfoods, and they seem to be held in pretty high regards and trusted by most of the active community. Ask anyone who’s into cycling, long-distance running, hiking, or weight lifting what a good brand is for an energy bar and chances are they’ll refer you straight to PowerBar.

Energy Gel Blasts are a new product from PowerBar, and are much different from their standard grain-filled candies. These things are more akin to fruit gushers than a candy bar, and seem to be perfect for quick energy when you don’t have time to stop and eat. Just pop one or two in your mouth, chew and swallow. That easy. But how well do they really work?

Read the full review on Caffeine Critic!

[The Top Five] Reasons Not to Dump Your Wii Just Because Nintendo Announced the 3DS

The title pretty much says it all.

Ever since the announcement of the 3DS, some Nintendo fans have been bringing up a silly argument in message boards. They feel, for whatever reason, that because the 3DS has 3D, superior graphical capabilities, and tilt and gyro control just like the Wii, that Nintendo’s current home system is inadequate and deserves to be pulled from their entertainment system shelves and tossed in the garbage.

What?

Here are just five reasons why everyone who has made that argument needs to step back, take a breath, and reevaluate their stance.

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[Energy Drink Review] Ol’ Glory

us army energy drink

By Americans, for Americans!

I’ve reviewed budget drinks before, and rarely are any of them any good. I entirely expected to use the Army recruiting ad to enlist myself, go overseas, and pray that someone would drop a bomb on me, shattering my body into a million pieces so I wouldn’t have to remember how awful this stuff was. Somehow though, Ol’ Glory managed to surprise me with what is actually a pretty good energy drink. Partner that with its excellent value and this is a product I can wholeheartedly recommend. Just poor it out of that ridiculously blatant can if you plan on walking around a neighborhood with a large Mexican or Asian population. They’ll just assume you’re a racist bigot.

Read the full review on Caffeine Critic!

[Restaurant Review] Kringle’s Kafe’

If you were to guess what type of eatery Kringle’s was, chances are you’d assume they offered some type of seasonal meal options like honey ham, yams, green beans, fruit cake, and maybe even some type of pie. I mean, what else would you expect from a restaurant with such a vibrant Christmas theme?

Once you’re inside the illusion of a jolly winter holiday theme is pumped to the max, with seasonal decorations and paintings all over the place. There is even a giant tyrannical statue of Santa Claus himself, watching out over the dining room making sure all of the kids on his turf are behaving themselves, menacingly silent but always ready to pounce on his first unsuspecting victim.

Read the full review on DoesItHitTheSpot.com!