[Food Review] Doritos: Mr. Dragon’s Fire Chips

Doritos has really been on quite the roll as of late. They kicked things off with the stellar Tacos at Midnight and Last Call Jalapeno Poppers, the first two flavors of their now renowned Late Night Line of Chips, and then built off of that success with All Nighter Cheeseburger, another stellar chip that literally blew my mind. With this success I figured it would be at least two more Late Night Flavors before the snack food giant decided to release any kind of strange flavor without the now trust brand labeled on the bag.

However, I was pleasantly surprised to hear about Mr. Dragon’s Fire Chips, a very strange product with an even stranger name. Equipped with the Japanese treat known as wasabi — a very spicy seasoning somewhat comparable to American hot sauce (though not really, more on that in a moment), can I chock up another high score for Doritos?

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[Music Review] Chapman “The Amplification of Mr. Ballad”

The Amplification of Mr. BalladThe Amplification of Mr. Ballad is the second of a set of three albums released as a trilogy by UK Artist Chapman. I reviewed The Bare Bones a few weeks ago, and for the sake of delivering an honest review had to take some time off of listening to his work because it was just starting to become tedious.

Now I’m back, refreshed, and ready to critique Amplification, which features the same songs as Bare Bones, only with added elements and electric guitars.

Hopefully more fleshed out versions of these songs will result in a more satisfying listening experience.

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Lemon Ice Slap Review on Caffeine Critic!

After an astonishingly impressive experience with Slap: Crisp Apple, which I scored a 9.0/10, I had very high expectations for Lemon Ice. A refreshing lemonade flavor white tea energy drink sounded absolutely perfect. You see, when I drank Lemon Ice, I had just finished up a full shift working as a bagger at my local Kroger grocery store, more specifically I had just completed an hour long cart shift in near 90 degree heat with high humidity and no breeze. Needless to say I was exhausted and thirsty.

When I finally stumbled into my house, I went straight for my mini fridge with only one thing on my mind; Slap Lemon Ice. It was something I had anticipated all day long, and I expected great things.

Sometimes, however, when your expectations are set too high it is easy to be let down.

Read the rest of the review on Caffeine Critic!

[Game Review] Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii)

Mario Galaxy 2 US Box artSystem: Wii (Exclusive)
Developer: Nintendo EAD Tokyo
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Platformer

I have been writing reviews on this site for coming up on two years now, and I have never awarded anything a perfect 10. I’ve reviewed books, video games, energy drinks, movies, food, tech, and music — a very wide scope of products — and never experienced one single item that deserved a score of perfection. Never. I don’t know why, but I’ve just never experienced anything that I truly thought existed without some flaw, some merit of quality detraction.

That streak has come to an end, as I have finally experienced something truly perfect. No blemishes, no flaws, nothing to detract from the experience offered. Super Mario Galaxy 2 for the Nintendo Wii is truly perfect in everything that it does. Of course I can’t just say that without offering something to back it up, so if you feel you need further convincing, then by all means read onward dear gamer. If, however, I’ve already swayed you, then I suggest buying the game right now if you don’t already have it in your library. This is an interactive experience that shouldn’t be missed.

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Zombie Blood Review on Caffeine Critic!

A while back I reviewed a product from Harcos Labs called Blood Energy Potion. Now, Blood’s title is more than just its name, as it is also the entire theme surrounding every single aspect of the unique energy drink. For instance, it was engineered to contain very similar nutrients, texture and color to real human blood and came packaged in an awesome I.V. bag to complete the illusion. Definitely a super cool concept and equally awesome execution, but there was only one problem. It was directed towards vampire fans. I hate vampires.

Zombies, on the other hand, are what my entire life revolves around. I have the word ‘Zombie’ tattooed on my lip, and am working on a Resident Evil half sleeve on my right bicep. I worship all things George A. Romero, the Don of the Dead. Zombie movies, zombie games, zombie books, zombie zombies, zombie comics and anything else related to the undead fascinates me.

Read the full review on Caffeine Critic.

Crisp Apple Slap Review on Caffeine Critic

I am very picky when it comes to my energy drinks, and I like to consider myself to be fairly critical when reviewing them. So when I award a drink an overall score of 9.0/10 and hand it a perfect 10 for a subcriterion, you know something is up. Slap Crisp Apple is an awesome drink that you shouldn’t be missing out on, so head on over to the Everyview Network’s Caffeine Critic for the full review on what has become one of my favorite energy drinks of all time.

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[Food Review] Taco Bell’s Mini Quesadilla

taco bell's mini quesadillaTaco Bell likes to mix things up on their value menus quite frequently, much more often than their competition anyway. This helps to keep things fresh in rotation, but it also means that on the occasion awesome items such as the Cheesy Double Beef Burrito get replaced by lackluster ones like the Beefy Five Layer Burrito. Yes, I’m still sour about that.

The newest addition to the Why Pay More value menu comes in the form of the Mini Quesadilla, which is essentially a white tortilla, roughly half the size of the one used for a regular Quesadilla, sprinkled with a three cheese blend which consists of cheddar, pepper jack, and mozzarella, folded over and grilled.

Essentially? Who the hell am I trying to kid, that’s exactly what it is.

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Syzmo: Prickly Pear Review on Caffeine Critic

Organic energy drink can

… But before I get to the actual review, let me tell you more about this sore throat. My airway is practically swollen shut, though it is getting much better. Riddled along my tonsils are little puss-filled wart-like blemishes, plump and white, that occasionally pop and release a rancid odor. Everything seems to be getting a bit better, but now I’ve got this uncontrollable cough that projects a dark green slime from within my body into my mouth so I am forced to taste it. It tastes like guacamole. I don’t like guacamole. …

You can’t not read the rest of it. Check out my full review on Caffeine Critic!

[The Top Five] Wii Games You’ve Never Played

Many people complain about there being no good games on the Wii outside of Mario, Metroid and Zelda. However, those people are unaware of the secret gems that live withing the console’s darkest caves. A quick journey into the realm of the unknown brings many undiscovered rarities that are sure to tickle anyone’s fancy. Grab a flashlight, pick axe, and a granola bar, because we are diving head first into a pile of games you’ve never played. Continue reading

[Movie Review] A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

A Nightmare on Elm Street as directed by Samuel Bayer is essentially a remake of the highly acclaimed 1984 original from Wes Craven. According to the majority of press, the general consensus is that the new age retooling pales in comparison to its source material, which is widely regarded as one of the best and most inspired horror films of all time.

I’ve never seen the original. It was before my time, as you may like to put it. Therefore, I have nothing to compare the film to, other than the general standard of film quality. I have no nostalgic connection to Freddy Krueger that will win the production points, nor will I become butthurt if any aspect of the film strayed from being faithful. All I can do is tell you whether or not the movie is good.

Which, in all honesty, it’s not.

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