Overview:
Earlier this week, I reviewed three new Mountain Dew flavors the company has released in its most recent “Dewmocracy” competition. I was hoping not to have to discuss these products any further (especially after the very public humiliation I encountered by having my grammatical inaccuracies pointed out in a surprisingly sanctimonious string of posts from a young man who normally leaves us insightful and hilarious comments such as “SUP LADIES WANT DO SEX”), but Zac “Pritchy Boy” Pritcher had other ideas.
So here’s a recap…
Typhoon:
The biggest question I generally have when dealing with these sort of promotional product is would I ever buy it if it made its way into regular circulation. While I hardly did cartwheels while drinking this new concoction (which of course was impossible with the concrete slab that was resting in my gut), I could definitely see myself purchasing it on a semi-regular basis in the future. While I have yet to try all available flavors, Typhoon seems to be the early favorite to get my vote in the Dewmocracy (brilliant, just brilliant) competition.
Score: 7.5/10 (Good)
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Distortion
One gets the impression the lazy art design Mountain Dew gave Distortion indicates the company wasn’t fully on board with pushing it into the public domain, so odds are they won’t find this modest review all that unflattering.
It’s not that this is an awful drink, or even a bad one. In fact, if the Icee taste I described above sounds tempting to you, you will likely enjoy this drink more than I did. However, it’s modest at best flavor and odd aftertaste ultimately leads me to give this one a pass.
Score: 6.5/10 (Below Average)
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Whiteout
Of all the new potential flavors, I feel Typhoon is easily the best, and for what it’s worth, I feel comfortable giving it the official Everyview endorsement, as I found it not only to possess the best taste, but it’s also the only one I could see myself purchasing on even a part-time basis.
As for the current leader in the polls, I can’t get behind it like much of the early voting public has thus far. It’s just sort of has a bland citrus flavor that stays with you longer than you wish it to. In the future I may be willing to reevaluate my opinion on either it or Distortion at a later date if they do manage to win the final vote as I wasn’t exactly nuts about Code Red the first time I tried it. But for the time being, the no. 1 choice is obvious to me.
Score: 5.7/10 (Bahk, ugh, jeesh…I’ll take a Crab Juice.)
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I’m with this all the way. After purchasing a 12-pack each of Typhoon and Distortion (ugh distortion) and then 2 20oz bottles of whiteout i’ll have to agree. Distortion has a terrible aftertaste and brings nothing new to the table. Whiteout was ok, sort of like a cross between 7UP and Mt Dew, but the clear winner for me was Typhoon. Being an avid lover of Taco Bell’s Baja Blast this flavor brings me much joy with its tropically-ness, though not as prominent as baja blast sure as hell gives me the tropical kick when i’m not near a taco bell.
I gotta disagree completely. I enjoyed White Out, while Typhoon kind of disgusted me. Distortion was kind of bland.
@ Michael Bricker
Ugh, Baja Blast is quite posssibly the worst soft drink every concocted. How do you drink that crap?
I’m really wanting to try these, or at least Typhoon and Whiteout (simply because it looks like toxic chemical sludge), but I’m too lazy to hunt them down.
I have tried Whiteout and Typhoon thus far, and liked them both enough that if they were available I would purchase them fairly regularly. I’ll be giving Distortion a whirl today.