I have been without a paycheck for going on too long now. Thus, my culinary options have dwindled from mediocre to abysmal, yet through no fault of my nearly flawless genetics I have retained my stunning physique. Now, for someone of my athletic build (I have been called my time’s athletic Adrien Brody by many folks) Rally’s might seem like the last place I would be found. Not so, as with the implementation of their $1 Unbelieva-Burgers, I felt compelled to swing through their two drive-thru’d restaurant twice in the last week. And since my beloved Editor-In-Chief Zac Pritcher already handled describing the Bacon Cheddar Crisp, it is my duty to tell you everything you need to know about the Chili Cheeseburger.

Upon pulling the burger out of the bag, one thing is almost criminally obvious… it is going to be a damned mess. Even just unwrapping the thing left me with hands that looked like I’d never been taught to wipe correctly. It smelled good, albeit just a tad like future heart disease. It’s size was good as well, neither overwhelmingly large or tragically small. Just like every other fast food utopia’s cheaper options.

Picking the Unbelieva-Burger up is a different story entirely. The bottom bun collapses under your thumb, as the heat and chili have teamed up to soften the bread to almost complete flaccidity. Once you finally take a bite you are completely a mess. Hands light brown from chili, thumb almost scorched my a fire-hot meat patty.

But dammit the sandwich doesn’t taste half bad.

Now, it isn’t half good on the other chili stained hand. It’s just completely adequate. The chili tops the burger deliciously, but when you factor in the sheer and utter destruction it leaves on your hands, table, face, and digestive system, I would only recommend eating one when there are no girls around and won’t be any around for quite awhile.

Final Words:

I wasn’t expecting anything more. The Chili Cheese Unbelieva-Burger tastes good enough, is incredibly affordable, and, with some seasoned fries and a trusty Mountain Dew by my side, it completely satisfied my hunger. I appreciate Rally’s actually coming up with a variety of cheap $1 burgers rather than the stock cheeseburger and fries. Be sure before you pull away to get a few more napkins, or at least track down the nearest fire hydrant because you are going to need a bath when you’re finished.

Pros

• Affordable
• Tastes good enough
• Great size

Cons

• An absolute mess

Final Score: 6.0/10 (Below Average)