Overview:

The Volcano Menu has recently began to feel stale for me. I’ve eaten countless Volcano Tacos and refuse to meet Taco Bell’s price demands with the Volcano Burrito unless it’s on a special occasion (happy anniversary, honey), and the magic was just starting to fade. Then lo and behold I receive an email from Everyview reader Troy, who runs the stellar energy drink review site edjunkie.com, informing me of the Volcano Nachos. This surprised me because I had been waiting for that Volcano Crunchwrap our friends over at Grub Grade had predicted. Still, I decided to check into it as soon as possible to see what the Volcano Menu had in store for me.

I’ve ordered them, eaten them, and my bowels violently rejected them, so the only thing that’s left is to review them. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s review time.

Review:

After tearing the plastic lid off of my plate of nachos, all I could do was stare at it. It was beautifully composed, built with a delicious assortment of enticing ingredients. At the base of the platter was a bed a crispy nacho chips covered with a warm blanket of seasoned beef and beans topped with loads of Lava Sauce and warm nacho cheese, all covered with red tortilla strips, a generous serving of spicy jalapeno peppers and a dallop of sour cream. Mmmm.

I usually like to get a good balance of all of a nacho item’s ingredients packed on top of the first chip, so I carefully loaded a single nacho with all of what the plate had to offer. As soon as the first bite met my pallet I sensed the heavenly combination of flavors and textures, blending perfectly together as I chewed. I became lost in the crispy, crunchy, gooey sensation that provided a great spicy kick which was immediately relieved by the cool sour cream.

This went on for a good long while until I realized I was actually sweating from my upper lip, which totally surprised me. While both the Volcano Taco and Volcano Burrito provide a decent amount of heat, I would never venture so far as to call either of them truly hot. But where the latter two items fell short, the Volcano Nachos succeeds with flying colors.

And the best thing about the new Volcano nachos is the serving size. Instead of being a dwarf item like the Beefy 5-Layer Nachos (RIP), which is what I was expecting, this item is a full Nachos Bell Grande sized feast. I ordered it with two crunchy tacos and found that I was thoroughly full and satisfied before even considering shoving them into my already stuffed belly. Of course I ate them anyway, because everyone knows a meal isn’t truly over until you hate yourself and have an uncontrollable urge to vomit through your mouth and nose while crying like a little girl.

But wouldn’t you know it, these things found their way through my digestive system surprisingly fast, and I found myself making a few visits to the little boy’s room so my body could purge the poisonously spicy entree I just force-fed to myself. This normally wouldn’t be an overly bad thing, but I ate the Volcano Nachos on my half-hour lunch break at work and spent a great amount of the remaining four hours of my shift on the toilet. My bosses weren’t pleased, but thankfully my union has a clause that covers and protects employees with chronic diarrhea.

Volcano Nachos cost $3.49, which is a surprisingly great deal for what you get. They cost only slightly more than the insanely overpriced Volcano Burrito, but have enough substance to provide eaters with a full satisfying meal for under $4. It’s a great deal, and is easily the most fairly priced item on the entire Volcano Menu. So go out and buy a couple to make sure these stay as a permanent item.

Final Words:

A fantastic roster of delicious ingredients that provide a great medley of textures, tastes, and plenty of heat coupled with a fair price tag make Taco Bell’s new Volcano Nachos a winner. I highly recommend them to any hungry person with a love for spicy foods and a preference for reading while on the toilet. You’ll spend a lot of time there.

Pros

• Fantastic Ingredients
• Absolutely delicious
• Great serving size constitutes an entire meal
• The price is fair, if not a bargain

Cons

• When your foot goes to sleep from sitting on the toilet for too long
• Overeating

Score: 9.0/10

Taste: 9.0/10
Ingredients: 9.25/10
Value: 8.75/10