Overview:

Those of you who know me exclusively through my reviews here on Everyview may not be able to tell, but I am very elegant. I have very high class tastes that can be satisfied only by the finest tobaccos and rarest wines. The tobacco must be smoked out of nothing less than pipes carved from ostrich bones and the wine is only to be sampled from diamond cups crafted by the most skilled jewelers in the world.

Enter Private Selection Sparkling Soda. It’s expensive and comes in a weird-looking glass bottle, but does it tickle my prestige?

Review:

When elegantly removing the fancy aluminum cap off of the fancy glass bottle, you can’t help but feel… fancy. There’s just a certain level of Ritz that comes with every abnormally shaped glass bottle, and this is no exception. But isn’t it what’s inside the pretentious glass bottle that really matters? No, but I can probably review a drink a little better than I can review a bottle. Maybe.

The first thing you’ll notice about Private Selection’s Sparkling Lemon Soda is that it actually smells like real lemonade and not a “lemon-flavored beverage.” It has a great balance between sweet and sour and is rather appetizing and isn’t overpowering at all.

The flavor itself is pretty good, too, albeit very average. It’s definitely lemonade, but there is a slightly bitter taste that isn’t too noticeable but detracts from the overall taste. The drink is also highly carbonated, hence the “sparkling” term used to describe the thousands of bubbles that swim around in your mouth like diamonds around a French woman’s neck. This presents a lighter texture than non-carbonated lemonade would, creating a more refreshing feel. It’s not something you’re going to want to drink all the time, but it makes a nice treat on the occasion.

The real “ritzy” part of Private Selection isn’t the fancy glass bottle or the fact that it sparkles, but is instead the high price tag of over $2.00 per 11.1 oz bottle. That’s just ridiculous. There is nothing overly special, memorable, or extremely appealing enough about this drink to warrant such a high cost of admission, other than the fact that it’s so damn fancy. Pick it up to try if it’s on sale, but I wouldn’t say it’s worth any more than $1.50, and even that’s steep for such a shallow (as in amount of liquid in bottle, not describing its personality. Although it is pretty snobby) drink.

Final Words

Okay, I admit it, I’m a mildly overweight slob with cheap taste buds, acne, and a bald spot. That being true, I can’t find anything outstanding about Private Selection Sparkling Lemon Soda. It has a nice aroma, tastes just fine, and has an enjoyable “tickly” texture, but over $2.00 for one 11.1 oz bottle is too much to ask.

If you can find it for cheap, go ahead and try it if you’d like. But there’s nothing particularly special about it.

Pros

• Fresh lemonade scent
• Tickly sensation from all those little bubbles
• Imported from France

Cons

• Tastes very average
• Not a memorable beverage
• Costs way too much

Score: 6.8/10 (Meh)

Aroma: 7.5/10 (Smells like lemonade)
Flavor: 7.0/10 (Nothing outstanding or memorable)
Value: 6.0/10 ($2.00 per 11.1 oz bottle is too much)