This guide is for the person who is/knows someone who is either obviously addicted to caffeine so intensely that they urinate blood on a regular basis, or just someone who likes to knock one back every once in a while. Only the best and highest reviewed drinks and most unbelievably awesome merchandise have made it on this list, so check it out. First up is the list of drinks.

Cocaine Energy Holiday Stimulus Pack

Cocaine Energy is offering a limited time only deal over at their online store. The Holiday Stimulus Pack is two cases full of the delicious, addictive liquid for a modest price tag of %59.99, which is %19.99 off the list price. This is an awesome supplement of 48 cans that is sure to rock anyone’s wool socks right off of their feet. Here’s what Cocaine Energy suggest you do with your huge helping of Cocaine Energy:

From now until the first of the year (that would be January 1st, 2009) you can buy two cases of Cocaine Energy Supplement for $59.99 plus S/H. That is a $20.00 redux-tion in price! You ask yourself, “no human can consume 48 cans of Cocaine Energy Supplement over the 2008 holiday season; are they trying to kill us?” The answer is no, we are not trying to kill you. We hope that you will share that second case by giving out cans of Cocaine Energy Supplement to your friends during this holiday season; there is no better way to boost someone’s holiday spirits.

Hell yes. We scored Cocaine a near perfect 9/10.
(Buy Here | Our Review | img via)

Monster Energy 12 Pack

Ahh, Monster Energy. What is probably the single greatest energy drink (or at least my personal favorite) on the market is also probably the single greatest gift ever. Can you imagine the look on your 6 year old cousins face when she opens the gift from you to find 12 cans of liquid gold? She’ll hate it! And that means more for you!

There are also several other variations of Monster you can get. The 12 packs on their online store come in several different flavors, but if you’re feeling even more generous you can grab a 24 pack for yourself or your loved ones.
(Buy here | Our Mega Monster Review | img via)

Brawndo The Thirst Mutilator

Brawndo The Thirst Mutilator is a perfect gift for anyone who loves highly caffeinated beverages, anyone who loves to excercise and stay hydrated, or anyone who enjoyed the cult classic Idiocracy. Brawndo makes a good energy drink, a good excercise supplement to keep you energized through strenuous excercise, and a great collectible novelty. Which is exactly what it is. A novelty. But don’t let that fool you into thinking this is one of those nasty, sour, salty novelty drinks. The Thirst Mutilator scored a respectable 8.8/10 here at Everyview, and immediately became one of my favorite energy drinks.
(Buy here | Our Review | img via)

Case o’ Bawls

Bawls energy drink is widely considered to be one of the best energy drinks available. Delivering a solid kick, a smooth flavor, and a sweet bottle, Bawls stands out from the rest of the crowd. It sits at about number 4 on my list of favorite energy drinks of all time (was 2 before I had Cocaine and Brawndo), and is one of the most accessible drinks you can get. It’s loved by energy junkies, geeks and gamers, and casual drinkers alike, so this’ll make the perfect gift to almost anyone!
(Buy here | Our Review | img via)

Mana Energy Potion

For the World of Warcraft geek who is trying to conquer the Lich King, or the 15 year old gothic girl who nobody understands. Dark, emo bitch.

You can get these at stores like Hot Topic and possibly GameStop, or buy them online which would be way cheaper. But that doesn’t even really matter since they are way too expensive for their own good anyway. In fact, I have yet to review them because I can’t bring myself to spend 5 bucks on something as ridiculous as a potion shaped shot of novelty energy supplement.
(Buy here | img via)

Now time for those awesome energy collectibles and paraphernalia.

Monster Energy Shot Glass

Shot glasses have, for a long time, been a favorite item to collect between alcoholics and underaged kids alike. And now, with this awesome Monster branded glass, we are able to throw caffeine addicts into the equation.

Whether your taking shots of Jack or just some virgin grape juice, this shot glass will make sure you do it with kidney failing style.

(Buy here | img via)

Jackson Cocaine Guitar

Here it is, the grandaddy of all awesome energy drink peraphernalia. The custom made Jackson Cocaine guitar. If you really want this thing you’re gonna have to shell out 550 big ones, and you’re gonna have to do it fast. There are only about 5 of these available on their website, and this isn’t something that should be missed. It’s totally awesome and I want one. And Santa, if you’re reading this I’ve been a very, VERY good boy this year and I really want one of these bad boys. So get me one. No joke.

It sports an awesome Cocaine Red base paint with the powdery white Cocaine Energy Supplement logo running across the bottom of the body. And since it’s a Jackson (which is a Fender company) you know it’s perfect for shredding and blasting out some sick metal riffs.
(Buy here | img via)